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Men have ‘simmering resentment’ towards women, say researchers

(28 Posts)
Betti936 Thu 15-Feb-18 01:00:58

NaiceBiscuits Thu 15-Feb-18 01:24:40 No paywall for this site

AngryAttackKittens Thu 15-Feb-18 09:13:45

The term they're looking for is "frustrated entitlement". Poor ickle men, so angry that women won't just shut up and be the sexbot/cook/cleaners that they feel they deserve.

LangCleg Thu 15-Feb-18 09:30:32

Going forwards, I think we should introduce ourselves to all new men thusly:

Hello. I am neither a fuck hole nor a validation bank. Is it worth my continuing this conversation?

I jest but I bet the look on their faces would be highly instructive on whether or not to proceed.

Triliteration Thu 15-Feb-18 09:32:54

Personal experience suggests to me that the same simmering resentment occurs in areas that are less poverty-stricken. It’s just less obvious and open and more understood that actual physical violence is unacceptable.

It’s what Germaine Greer was talking about when she said men hate us. Sadly, I also think so many years of putting up with it has led me to feel a similar resentment in return.

AngryAttackKittens Thu 15-Feb-18 09:34:47

I've met toffs with a simmering resentment towards women. It's a male entitlement issue, not a class issue.

Childrenofthestones Thu 15-Feb-18 09:43:30

Stand back and look at this thread.
Do you not think this is a simmering resentment against men?

Triliteration Thu 15-Feb-18 09:44:25

Couldn’t agree more Angry.

AngryAttackKittens Thu 15-Feb-18 09:46:46

Stand back and look at yourself, Children. Is trolling the best use you could make of your time?

Triliteration Thu 15-Feb-18 09:46:49

Did you read my post Children? I don’t think I set out with any resentment, but it’s there now.

GoodyMog Thu 15-Feb-18 09:59:26

Susan Faludi talks about this in Backlash, while there's resentment by all men who see their free labour being removed from them, there's a particularly angry group - especially in times like these - of men who aren't as economically/financially as well off as their fathers generation and who blame women for this.

In a quote by Susan Hayward who was part of a group of analysts, she says,

"It's these downscale men, the ones who can’t earn as much as their fathers, who we find are the most threatened by the women’s movement. They represent 20 per cent of the population that cannot handle the changes in women’s roles. They were not well employed, they were the first ones laid off, they had no savings and not very much in the way of prospects for the future."

TallulahWaitingInTheRain Thu 15-Feb-18 10:10:07

I am neither a fuck hole nor a validation bank

I'm pretty certain I have actually said this, in almost those words

Datun Thu 15-Feb-18 10:24:57

I guess for some men, if they feel life is unfair, the very next thought will be and I can't get enough bloody sex to make up for it.

Bloody women.

LangCleg Thu 15-Feb-18 10:48:48

I'm pretty certain I have actually said this, in almost those words.

Good for you! You're my kinda gal!

Seriously though - this simmering resentment bollocks just boils down to one thing. Men can't take it if women say no. To anything. More than that: they can't take it if they even suspect there's a tiny chance that women might say no. To anything.

AngryAttackKittens Thu 15-Feb-18 10:56:39


"Why do you want to castrate me, you evil bitch?!!"

"I was just going to ask if you could pass me a napkin, you fucking lunatic."

With some men they're basically sitting there seething, poised for battle, and it doesn't take much to set them off.

TallulahWaitingInTheRain Thu 15-Feb-18 11:00:10

It's depressing, isn't it, that even the nicest men really do need spelling it out

purits Thu 15-Feb-18 11:08:23

there's a particularly angry group - especially in times like these - of men who aren't as economically/financially as well off as their fathers generation and who blame women for this.

Is it just men? Have you not read all the baby-boomer-hate on here? It seems a generational thing.
We aspired to be like the grown-ups. We thought that if we pegged away at it, going through the stages, then we would get there eventually. It seems that current twenty/thirty-somethings want it now and get very angry when they don't get their perceived entitlement.

drspouse Thu 15-Feb-18 11:14:08


UpstartCrow Thu 15-Feb-18 11:22:39

Dr Lorimer said:
"What we found is that if you are a young man living in a community, where there is a norm for violence; where there is peer acceptance that you have sex with lots of women; where women are treated poorly; you will have limited opportunities to adopt more positive forms of masculinity that could help foster more equal relationships.

"To tackle misogyny, sexism and violence, we need to work at a community level and look beyond individuals.

"If we want to make a difference, we can't just hand people a leaflet and expect them to change when there are bigger influences on them."

But we aren't permitted to discuss this study and its findings as it looks like man hating?
If there is any 'simmering resentment towards men', its because of their entitled attitude and constant undertone of violence that makes even a simple interaction with a stranger an exercise in risk assessment.

RedToothBrush Thu 15-Feb-18 11:24:07

Stand back and look at this thread.
Do you not think this is a simmering resentment against men?

I can't disagree with that.

I think its far more important to ask the question 'why?' Why is it the case for men? What is it based on? And the same for women.

THAT is the important bit.

TitaniasCloset Thu 15-Feb-18 11:28:28

This annoys me, it's not just a class or poverty thing at all. Middle class men just hide it better, in some ways they are worse because they are sneaky with it and use gaslighting. But I'm not surprised by this at all.

CritEqual Thu 15-Feb-18 11:34:16

Isn't it obvious where the resentment is coming from?

BlindAssassin1 Thu 15-Feb-18 11:43:13

I don't think this is a just a lower class thing. Matthew Paris, he of the 'posh' chattering classes, on the Today programme this morning, saying he was sick of hearing all the 'relentless' woman coverage' surrounding the suffrage celebration, that he feels 'assailed as a sex'.

Sorry Matthew that women's suffrage was talked about by women, crazy idea! And you feel marginalised as a sex? Gosh, what must that feel like?!

Despite the language of NAMALT the sentiment was very much 'can you all just shut up and fuck off please'. So not a class specific issue at all.

CritEqual Thu 15-Feb-18 11:51:25

Society objectifies the woman both as a sex object and for her powers of reproduction. This objectification although not particularly desirable from a woman's perspective confers an intrinsic value.

Men resent this intrinsic value, especially if they are at the bottom of the pile as being of some value is better than none. Even successful men are not immune as they can see the intrinsic value but not the diminished agency that comes with it.

TitaniasCloset Thu 15-Feb-18 12:07:26

You might have a point CritE. A close friends dh has tried to scupper her relationship with his child since dc was born(she has a child from her previous marriage too). I have always found something off about his 'close relationship' with his dc, it's as if he resents the power that she has as a mother and the closeness she has, like he hates her for it a little bit. As a result when he is around her dc is very naughty but when he works away they go back to being close. He has also been physically violent to my friend and financially abusive. But from the outside you would think he was the perfect dad and a lovely helpful guy.

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