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My Husband Visited the GP Today

(100 Posts)
PersonA Wed 14-Feb-18 21:26:32

And he was asked what GENDER he IDENTIFIES as.

He had already declared his sex (male) on the form.

This was his first GP visit since we have moved area.

My husband is a “stereotypical male” he has short hair, a beard, shirt and tie etc etc.

He is not massively aware of the whole gender debate and just mentioned this in passing as he thought it a weird question.

On pressing him the GP said “yes, sorry, I have to ask, the world seems to be going mad”

My issue here is this: what if he said he identifies as female? What fucking difference would that make? Would he be given smear tests?

I really feel for doctors in this day and age and the fact they have to ask this.

What is going on?? Will people wake up to how absurd this is at some point?

Wear a dress. Wear lipstick. Be a “stereotypical” female if it makes you happy. I really don’t care. When it enters the medical profession/ NHS/ Doctor’s have to ask if a man (who has already said he is male) self identifies as a woman?? It’s going too far.

mumonashoestring Wed 14-Feb-18 21:30:01

Fuck me.

One of the first places a trans person will have to go to get help is their GP. At least if there's some kind of acknowledgement that gender isn't 100% straightforward for everyone that takes some of the pain out of it. Does it really do you or your DH any harm to be asked the question?

PleaseDontGoadTheToad Wed 14-Feb-18 21:32:18

Fuck me.

No thanks.

gender isn't 100% straightforward for everyone

Gender isn't really straight forward for anyone tbh.

Do you even know what gender is?

mumonashoestring Wed 14-Feb-18 21:33:57

As opposed to sexuality and biologically assigned sex? Yes I do.

OutyMcOutface Wed 14-Feb-18 21:34:35

Well presumably the GP would have offered him a referral to some kind of specialist psychiatrist/pamphlet on gender transition if he said he identified as a woman.

PersonA Wed 14-Feb-18 21:35:29

Yes actually, he was there due to a lump on his testicle.

Having a penis and testicles makes you male. It means his healthcare has to be orientated around him being male and not female.

Women don’t have testicles thus they do not get lumps on their testicles. If you are a man that “identifies” as a woman but you have kept your male anatomy, you will receive treatment according to your sex. Which is male.

CaptainBrickbeard Wed 14-Feb-18 21:37:22

I have to register with a new surgery; I would be astonished if they asked me that. The NHS has given me years of smear tests, female contraception, seen me through two pregnancies and births, a miscarriage...if I said I felt like a man then it would be patently not rooted in reality...

Amyxmarie Wed 14-Feb-18 21:37:23

I agree with you OP. Having a "gender" issue seems to be the edgy thing for people these days. Next they will be telling midwives not to tell you your baby's sex incase they want to "identify" themselves 🤦🏻‍♀️

Myunicornfliessideways Wed 14-Feb-18 21:38:03

How is it relevant to ask what gender he identifies as if he has stated his sex and he hasn't walked into the surgery obviously presenting as a transwoman and needing to request different pronouns/ awareness of those areas of specific medical care such as hormones/surgical recovery etc?

It's not like the GP needs to know whether to use the pink or the blue stethoscope, or whether to chat about footie or knitting patterns.

BrandNewHouse Wed 14-Feb-18 21:38:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PersonA Wed 14-Feb-18 21:38:27

I really fear this is the way it’s going amy

UpstartCrow Wed 14-Feb-18 21:40:16

Up until recent changes by the current Govt, NHS staff were able to ask you your biological sex, regardless of your presentation. They were exempt from any claims of discrimination or hate crimes for asking. Because your biological sex matters to your health care.

mumonashoestring Wed 14-Feb-18 21:40:26

And if it's your first appointment with a GP to discuss gender reassignment?

It isn't limited to people of any age or sex, it isn't (from what I've been told) an easy conversation to start, and if we're not happy for our doctors to make other assumptions about the kind of treatment we might need or prefer, why not remove assumptions here as well? Does no harm to anyone to be asked the question but could help enormously in the right situation.

PersonA Wed 14-Feb-18 21:41:33

Exactly Brand

I really wish I had been there to ask him about it and why he had to ask the question.

He obviously though it was a load of bollocks (no pun intended) but must have been told to ask all new patients how they identify. It’s bloody ridiculous.

PleaseDontGoadTheToad Wed 14-Feb-18 21:42:37

And if it's your first appointment with a GP to discuss gender reassignment?

Hopefully they will suggest some counselling to begin with rather than jumping straight in with reassigning anything.

LizzieSiddal Wed 14-Feb-18 21:45:35

If a GP asks me that question I’ll refuse to answer on the basis of (it is a stupid fucking question) it has no relevance to me, or my needs.

I suggest all women do the same.

Lovesagin Wed 14-Feb-18 21:47:16

I'd refuse to answer

caringdenise009 Wed 14-Feb-18 21:48:12

Amyxmarie I think you raise an interesting point there. Is it transphobic to want to know your babies sex? Does that make you a bigot, and therefore a risk to the child?

Also, transphobic is a shit term. Phobic means an irrational fear that triggers an overreaction. I don't think expressing concern fits the bill here. But the whole debate is a bit People's Front of Judea,fucking splitters.

ReluctantCamper Wed 14-Feb-18 21:52:41

cor mumonashoestring, have a biscuit, that's the first time I've seen someone use the phrase 'biologically assigned sex'.

From your user name I presume you've been present at a birth? Do you remember much 'assigning'? As far as I recall they just took a glance at the nappy region, noted 'M' or 'F' and moved onto the next thing to do....

ExFunFeminist Wed 14-Feb-18 21:53:55

A consultation with a GP is limited to just ten minutes and patients are being asked questions like this? Many people feel so anxious about going to the GP that it is not uncommon to take written reminders of what their concerns/symptoms are. This question will completely baffle many and could sidetrack from the reasons they need to see the GP for ten minutes.

Myunicornfliessideways Wed 14-Feb-18 21:54:27

There's a whole lot of conversations with a GP that aren't easy to start, which would help enormously and are much more medically relevant. Like asking about depression for example. But rather than run down a list of potentially helpful background info questions in the very few minutes a GP has to spare, they ask the patient what they've come to talk about. And if someone has screwed up the courage to come and talk about gender reassignment then that's what they'll do if they're ready and want to.

This is politically led data collection and about gathering statistics while ticking the equality and inclusion policy box. And yes, it validates and normalises a highly questionable political agenda introduced without discussion or consent that is harmful to women.

Terfragette Wed 14-Feb-18 21:56:08

Be even funnier if it was a woman 8 months pregnant.

Greenteandchives Wed 14-Feb-18 21:56:29

I work in an NHS community care service and we are supposed to ask all our patients this question to make sure everyone’s needs are addresssed equitably. Sometimes it seems really inappropriate and can be upsetting, so I use my judgement and sometimes just ‘forget’.

LizzieSiddal Wed 14-Feb-18 21:56:40

Does no harm to anyone to be asked the question but could help enormously in the right situation.

Don’t be so ridiculous. There are hundreds of things which are “not a easy conversation to have”.

PersonA Wed 14-Feb-18 22:01:20

I agree myunicorn but you have worded it much more eloquently than I.

Of course there are many difficult conversations to have when visiting the GP. No none goes to the GP for a laugh.

I would have appreciated being asked if I wanted a STI check/ pregnancy test/ breast lump checked so as to open up a discussion without me having to initiate it. They don’t ask me these questions when I register. Why ask what gender you identify as when you have already declared you are male? That argument is invalid.

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