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Parenting guide to navigate trans issues

(4 Posts)
Lemonjello Wed 14-Feb-18 13:50:16

Just musing after the transgendertrend schools info has been published, about similar helpful ways for parents to navigate the issues with their kids. I’m not meaning for children who identify as trans, although that’s a good idea too, but more how you explain the concept of trans to children that is honest, sensitive and reality based.

At the moment I say that the only difference between girls and boys is vaginas and willies but my child is still young.

I was thinking about explaining it similarly to religious belief- some people believe this, others don’t, you can make up your own mind?

Interested to hear how others tackle it smile

TheGoldenBough Thu 15-Feb-18 07:54:50

That is the only difference between boys and girls.

Beyond that, people can like whatever they like. But boys will still have willies and girls will still have vaginas.

When my twin half sisters were 6; one of them dressed as a fairy/princess; was very 'delicate' in how she approached everything; wanted to do ballet and loved ponies; she played with baby dolls; everything she had/owned/wanted was pink and sparkly. She ticked ever box on the stereotypical girl list.

Her twin sister, on the other hand, had a toy work bench with tools; dressed as a pirate; "raah"ed a lot; was very 'boisterous'; clattered like a bull in a china shop through everything; loved play fighting; had no interest in ballet or ponies; loved searching for bugs and playing in the mud. She ticked every box on the stereotypical boy list.

But they were both still girls.

I haven't tackled it at all and it hasn't come up at either of my children's schools.

TerfsForWomen Thu 15-Feb-18 08:33:27

We talk about it a lot. My DD is not a "girly" girl but is comfortable with her femininity. My DS is not a "laddy" boy but is comfortable with his masculinity. They are who they are, and their sex won't change. They know that prescriptive gender roles change over time and in different cultures. There's no reason to accept what our current time and culture dictates as the be all and end all. We are a very terf-y family.

AdultHumanFemale Thu 15-Feb-18 09:06:31

I am also on the essentialist side of the fence here. If you believe that gender really is a social construct, then the biological difference between the sexes is all that matters to young children.
DD2 comes home from her R class with some standard gender based rubbish on a fairly regular basis which she has picked up from class mates, and we just sort it out: "Well, my hairdresser is a man, so men can be hairdressers." etc.

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