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Transgender on 'take me out'

(32 Posts)
Sittinonthefloor Sun 11-Feb-18 22:57:14

I was watching 'take me out'(I know, I am ashamed) and wondered what the reaction would be if one of the girls was actually secretly a TIM (with penis) and the boy choose him and discovered that he was actually a man on their date. Would it be a hate crime if he was a bit er, peeved? And what that says about the reality of the whole trans thing. Would people think he'd been 'tricked' or would he (date picker) be expected to be cool with it? Maybe it's already happened- I don't watch the show often!

Justanotherzombie Sun 11-Feb-18 23:01:12

Jesus Christ, is there no end to the hypothetical crap people will start a post about to rile up anti-trans sentiment on here.

Sittinonthefloor Sun 11-Feb-18 23:05:13

hmm just. I admit I'm seeing the world differently these days, misogyny everyfuckenwhere, and I'm really pissed off, has probably lead me to be easily peaked again. But I think it's a valid question.

Sittinonthefloor Sun 11-Feb-18 23:07:32

What do you think just? Would a straight man be justified in being peeved at being sent on a date with a TIM?

SuburbanRhonda Sun 11-Feb-18 23:07:44

I peak transed months ago but even I think making up a scenario like this is just goady.

TyneTeas Sun 11-Feb-18 23:08:02

Something like this?

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/There's_Something_About_Miriam

Sittinonthefloor Sun 11-Feb-18 23:10:17

Sorry, really, really not meant to be goady. Just wondering how far peoples suspension of accepting biological reality is supposed to stretch.

Sittinonthefloor Sun 11-Feb-18 23:12:28

Tyne - well remembered!

Charismam Sun 11-Feb-18 23:13:54

well imo it's an interesting question because transM2F insist they are real women but a man would still feel duped in this scenario.

I think there is too much blame directed at women for not believing that transM2Fs are women so it'd be good to pierce their bubble with this exact scenario, to highlight that men don't think transM2Fs are women either.

overnightangel Sun 11-Feb-18 23:15:13

There’s something about Miriam was first thing I thought of.
Can’t believe they got away with that

Sittinonthefloor Sun 11-Feb-18 23:15:31

Charisma - thank you for putting my woolly thoughts into sensible words. I'll get my coat!

HammersRaised Sun 11-Feb-18 23:30:08

There was a transF2M describing themselves as pan sexual on First Dates Hotel this week. They went on a successful date with a gay male who initially didn’t know they were on a date with someone F2M trans.

SuburbanRhonda Mon 12-Feb-18 07:18:04

I saw that episode, hammers.

To be honest I thought he passed completely, he’d had full reassignment surgery and seemed very much aware that it might be something his date wasn’t comfortable with.

It was interesting that when he was talking about his surgery he called it a phallus, not a penis, because that’s the correct medical term. He seemed like an all-round lovely guy.

SusanBunch Mon 12-Feb-18 07:37:31

Why post some hypothetical shit that hasn't happened? You do realise that despite what TRAs on Twitter say, nobody is actually being forced to date or sleep with trans people? There is still the complete ability to say no, just as some people will only date blondes with big boobs or whatever.
FYI, they did have trans people on Naked Attraction, but the person picking was pansexual and completely open to having a relationship with a trans person (don't think she picked one though).

busyboysmum Mon 12-Feb-18 07:48:48

I think it's an interesting question. I asked a trans woman I was talking to on Twitter what they did about this. They said they passed so wouldn't tell the person initially but (as they retained male genitals) if things were going to get sexual they would then tell the person.

Hoppinggreen Mon 12-Feb-18 07:55:50

I remember something about Miriam
I thought it was absolutely awful, the man who won seemed to have genuine feelings for her but was completely humiliated at the reveal.
He said later that he wasn’t anti trans or homophobic but that he couldn’t be in a relationship based on deception. I really felt for him.
Anyway, as for Take me out I don’t think it would matter as long as it was clear the woman was Trans before any physical contact took place

HammersRaised Mon 12-Feb-18 09:13:35

Yes, he did seem like a lovely person and they were well suited. But I wonder how a straight guy would have reacted if he was matched with a trans M2F. I watched the episode with a friend and she felt that despite the trans surgery, it was deceptive of the production team to pair a gay man with someone transF2M.

Thisusernamethingistricky Mon 12-Feb-18 09:25:11

That Miriam programme would be talked about very differently if it was broadcast now.

OP your hypothetical question is a bit specific, but there is a wider question there about attraction.

SuburbanRhonda Mon 12-Feb-18 09:27:56

That’s an interesting view, hammer. But you can bet your life that if the gay man had said no thanks, no one would be accusing him of transphobia!

conservativeuterus Mon 12-Feb-18 09:33:12

I thought the same thing OP.

What are the odds of the light staying on.......

busyboysmum Mon 12-Feb-18 11:15:13

You see there is a woman serving 9 years in prison for tricking another woman into having sex with her by pretending to be a man. Her lawyers missed a trick - presumably if they had entered as her defence that she identified as being a man she would have been OK? Where do we draw the line?

harpyone Tue 13-Feb-18 17:08:31

Hello, new person here.
Its a hard question. But on twitter i have seen men argue vehemently for’transwomen are women’ for ages, then add on, except for relationship purposes. I guess some men are ok with the potential, whereas a lot of blusterers are using trans people to attack womens autonomy.

Belindabauer Tue 13-Feb-18 19:12:45

I thought about there's something about Miriam too. That seemed to be done for comedic purposes and I agree would be very different if shown now.
I think the chooser would have to be told beforehand.

Charismam Tue 13-Feb-18 19:32:00

Very good point busyboysmum. I'd forgotten about that very strange case.

Charismam Tue 13-Feb-18 19:33:10

Yes, Happyone, that really is the real question, how many of the men swearing that transwomen are women can show that they genuinely believe that by dating a transwoman themself.

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