Brendan Cox

[SusanBunch]

So he has been accused of groping a woman in an American bar, grabbing her hips and bottom and thrusting his thumb into her mouth after she repeatedly told him no. This is the second round of accusations. In 2015, before Jo Cox was murdered, there were newspaper reports that he had voluntarily left his post at Save the Children after more than one co-worker threatened to make an almighty fuss about his conduct. Obviously these allegations have yet to be proven in a court of law, but it doesn't look great.

It will be interesting to see how this pans out. He has traded on his saint-like image since his wife died and the left-wing press love him. He often portrays himself as Dad of the year etc and I think he even did a live chat on Mumsnet. But now it appears that this is a man who assaults women while his wife and small children are at home. It's interesting that the 2015 story was not raked up more when he put himself in the public eye. I wonder if he can survive this.

[Brokenbiscuit]

Well, innocent until proven guilty, no?

I feel very conflicted by this tbh. I don't want to believe this of Brendan Cox. I knew Jo at university. I was shocked by her death but moved by his dignity. I think he has conducted himself very well in difficult circumstances.

Nevertheless, I feel that women deserve to be believed in these situations. Nobody should be immune from investigation. We cannot afford to dismiss such allegations.

I just don't want it to be true iyswim, but that doesn't mean that it might not be. I will reserve judgement for the time being.

[SusanBunch]

That is true. These are only allegations. But there was more than one woman who made allegations against him at Save the Children and it was enough to make him resign (although at the time nobody really knew who he was). At a push it could be people ganging up against their boss and making false allegations because they dislike him. Now a separate unrelated woman in a different country has made a detailed allegation against him. It seems odd that one person should have the misfortune of this happening to him more than once.

It's very disappointing if true.

[nauticant]

This has been common knowledge in certain circles for ages, for example from before Jo Cox was murdered:
www.thetimes.co.uk/article/save-the-children-executive-resigns-after-complaints-gwlrj53t3gt.

A sex pest husband of a female MP was only minor news but when Jo Cox was murdered it became noteworthy but unmentionable. The thing that's changed is the reporting of sexual abuse in the charity sector and the Brendan Cox story seems to exemplify that perfectly.

On the left there have been outpourings of "conspiracy!" and "Daily Fail!" but not much talk of #metoo. Again, the instinct of the left is to throw the women under the bus.

[SusanBunch]

Interesting, nauticant. Yes, it's gone very quiet with the #metoo and we believe you narrative in relation to this specific story.

[BillStickersIsInnocent]

I’ve worked in the charity sector for pretty much all my working life - the confirmed offences and allegations are horrific and we need to move swiftly to analyse, make changes and restore public trust.
Whilst I don’t think there is a conspiracy theory in the press it’s worth bearing in mind the anti-overseas aid rhetoric that’s prevalent at the moment through Jacob Rees-Mogg etc - his motive is definitely not women’s rights.

[CecilyNeville]

I had wondered why the press hadn't made more of the accusations against him before, and I thought he was treading a risky line choosing to take a public profile in the last couple of years, since Jo's murder.

I didn't know he'd been a senior adviser to Gordon Brown too, until that Times link.

[LangCleg]

I had wondered why the press hadn't made more of the accusations against him before

It all got subsumed into the row over Justin Forsyth allowing a humanitarian award to be given to Tony Blair and the subsequent arguing over his obscene salary and the revolving charity jobs-for-the-Labour-boys business.

Then Jo was murdered so horrifically.

I think it was only a matter of time before the spotlight turned back to Brendan. And, if the allegations are true, he has only himself to blame.

[UpABitLate]

People are people and have different facets.

It seems to be very difficult for lots of people - and I'm guilty of it myself - to believe bad things about people including public figures that they like.

I didn't know about this news so thanks for posting.

It's a #metoo situaiton isn't it - men in bars clubs do this sort of shit all the time so it's hardly difficult to believe and as what I would call "low level" (even though it isn't at all it's just something that we know women are supposed to put up with I mean in my day no-one would have dreamt of reporting what is in the OP at the bar) it's not a very interesting story to make up even if she had reasons for lying which of course we have no reason to think she does.

As with all these things and based in past experience, with multiple allegations from different sources I'm easily inclined to believe it.

I see that alternate explanations are being offered already.

Fact of the matter is that while men will spend their time saying oh it's this or that, most women will read that and think yes that happens all the time, loads of men are like that, it's hardly difficult to believe that he might be.

[UpABitLate]

The other point is that he is not her.

Lovely brilliant women have husbands who are twats all the time.

In his case it sounds a bit more than twattish but still.

[OvaHere]

I have a lot of sympathy for Jo Cox's family following her murder but a suffering a tragedy doesn't make someone a saint. Anyone can lose a family member under horrific circumstances.

Given the prioritisation of a number of TIMs (possibly self ID ones) on the Jo Cox leadership program I would say it's very likely that Brendan Cox follows the typical lefty man stereotype.

[OvaHere]

Having said that. It's entirely likely that Jo herself would have been a trans supporter if she were here to give her views. I don't think we can assume she would be gender critical on this one subject.

[Thisusernamethingistricky]

He is, as they seem to say these days, 'problematic'.

[SusanBunch]

He definitely was taking a big risk taking on such a public role, given that the allegations were already out there. Perhaps he was arrogant enough to think that they would not resurface or that he could deflect them by claiming that they were untrue. To be fair, sexual assault allegations don't tend to have a hugely damaging impact on men and given that a lot of his cheerleaders on Twitter are saying these are all lies, he probably will weather this storm.

[UpABitLate]

"To be fair, sexual assault allegations don't tend to have a hugely damaging impact on men and given that a lot of his cheerleaders on Twitter are saying these are all lies, he probably will weather this storm."

This.

Most men who behave like this, I don't think they see their actions as particularly unusual or bad, they think that most men behave like this, they don't for a minute consider their actions illegal but see it as all a "bit of fun". Of course they never take into account or even think to consider how the woman on the receiving end feels as in these situations the woman is just a sort of focus for what he wants to do, it's not actually about the woman, in these things, they are interchangable and not really the point at all.

[UpABitLate]

Oh and the second part yes other men, men who like them, explain it away.

This happens all the time, men are only critical of other men's misdemeanours if it's not a man from their "tribe".

Then they expect women to agree with them that type of man A is bad but type of man B never does this sort of thing. Then when women say, it's all types of men, the common denominator is men, they say boohoo namalt and you'e a witch.

[Geronimoleapinglizards]

I rememer reading about this on here just after Jo's awful murder. Or rather I read someone saying something about her husband and the allegations and she was told very fimly by other posters becuase it wasn't the time to mention them. Fair enough, perhaps it wasn't. But at some point given his position in the public eye they were going to be talked about.

It's very challenging because I admire Jo a lot based on what I've read about her but there we go. Some nice women are still married to men who behave appallingly. It's only his responsibility if it's all true.

[SusanBunch]

Then they expect women to agree with them that type of man A is bad but type of man B never does this sort of thing. Then when women say, it's all types of men, the common denominator is men, they say boohoo namalt and you'e a witch.

Yup, pretty much. IME the men who loudly proclaim to be feminists are often some of the worst. I used to work with someone who always referred to himself as a radical feminist. Except he watched violent porn (which was of course women's choice to get involved in) and tried it on with me when drunk (despite being married and having a pregnant wife). I am not sure what, apart from saying he was a feminist, he actually thought he was doing to further feminism's cause....

[Bluedoglead]

I’ve just posted on the other thread. In essence, This shows up for me what a problem the we beleive you campaign is.

We beleive you unless we like the person you’re accusing.

Innocent til proven guilty should be for everyone and we cannot say we beleive you so blindly.

[UpABitLate]

Men who are feminist often concern themselves with women over there >>> where things are properly bad

And feel quite happy to be sexist (often in really smarmy insidious ways) to women over here >>> sitting next to them, becasue women next to them are spolit and have it good compared to women over there >>>.

Meanwhile men over there >>> are doing the exact same in reverse.

[QueenLaBeefah]

I don't want to believe this but experience has taught me that the allegations are probably true.

[SusanBunch]

Hettie that is really sad. What hope is there for any of us when a beautiful, intelligent, committed and brilliant woman like Jo ends up with a wankbucket like that? I guess he has charm and confidence in spades though.

I hope he has the decency to step away from the charity. His poor kids as well- he was obviously so arrogant that he thought he was untouchable.

[Brokenbiscuit]

Hettie, as someone who knew Jo many years ago, your post makes me feel really sad. I am still so appalled at what happened to her, I would at least have liked to believe that she was happy while she was alive. Her family must be finding this terribly difficult.

Still, whatever we might feel about it, the truth will out eventually. And if BC is guilty of these things, then he must be held accountable.

[Geronimoleapinglizards]

Broken I'm sure she was happy. She had her lovely children and a fulfilling job and no doubt some of her marriage was happy. I know similar men (I'm sure we all do) and the wives either turn a blind eye to the point of willfully ignoring what's happening or they benefit in other ways and get good at ignoring the not happy bits. I think you can still be happy in a very up and down relationship if that makes any sense. I had some very happy times with my abusive ex.