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Feeling sad

(25 Posts)
Sadcister Fri 09-Feb-18 13:33:33

I used to be of the "live and let live" kind of attitude... If you're not hurting anyone, you can do/wear/be whatever you want, and be in whatever kind of (consenting) relationship you like.

But I've always been strongly feminist, and having read a LOT about the trans issues going on at the moment I've realised I'm definitely gender critical. I felt very angry and keen to DO SOMETHING!

But having read the recent thread about being gender critical in your workplace has just made me so so sad. I have a pretty junior teaching position in a University (male-dominated subject) with a ridiculously vocal trans lobby and there's no way I could stand up to it, I'd be out of my job in seconds, and there'd be hundreds eager to replace me and I'd have no way to pay my bills.

I feel like in 20/30 years, we'll look back on this as a ridiculous fad that strong women fought over and eventually claimed women's rights back, and I'll feel guilty for having sat on the sidelines rather than got involved, because I was afraid of the personal repercussions.
I feel quite disappointed in myself, I always read about things like slavery and gay rights and thought "if I was there I wouldn't have said nothing", but here I am...

Does anyone else feel like this? So impotent? Is there anything I can actually do?

(NC obviously because I'm apparently a coward)

Sadcister Fri 09-Feb-18 13:35:19

Actually I feel slightly better for having got that off my chest!
(and the username is meant to be ironic)

GuardianLions Fri 09-Feb-18 13:41:46

Pick your battles OP.

Win what you can, support what you can, do what you can.

Your moment at work might come.

Collidascope Fri 09-Feb-18 13:42:46

I think a big thing is to raise awareness via social media, anonymously of course. I'm sure most of us started off with the default liberal position, and only realised what the situation was like when we saw the feminist arguments on mumsnet, Twitter etc and the links to articles that show the trans rights activism for what it is.
I think if you can post and put forward your arguments logically and calmly, and mention it to friends too, you're helping in some way.
If I think of this board a year ago, it was nothing like as busy as it it now. Word is getting out there.

Sadcister Fri 09-Feb-18 13:49:22

Good point about social media
I've been wondering if I should get an anonymous twitter name - I have a work one and a home one already but the work one is my full name and the home one is my nickname lol

Sadcister Fri 09-Feb-18 13:50:06

I also can't believe it's not being covered in the news etc. Especially since it's been 100 years since we got the vote!

Notyourcister Fri 09-Feb-18 13:53:56

I feel similarly Sadcister. I have always been a feminist, since my early teens, and like you have been fairly 'live & let live' in my attitudes.
I am so angry about the attempts being made by TRAs to impinge on women's rights.
But. I don't know if I can stick my head above the parapet. My Twitter is in my real name. I've started following people who are labelled as terfs, but don't feel able to retweet or post myself. I have bought a ticket to the WPUK meeting in Birmingham, but have some anxieties about attending.
I work as a health professional in the NHS & have young children. I selfishly worry about repercussions should my beliefs become actual activism, but like you, I always hoped I would take a stand should I ever find myself in a position like this.
It's hard.

athingthateveryoneneeds Fri 09-Feb-18 13:54:01

Sounds like a good start, Sad.

I have no influence apart from in my own home. I doing my best to teach my DC critical thinking skills, and Real Facts. They haven't been exposed to trans activism much, so that helps them to see it for what it is. We talk about it regularly, but I have warned them to be careful who they discuss this with.

I'm going to college and university soon to retrain, and I'm interested to find out what it's like on campus.

Sadcister Fri 09-Feb-18 14:24:18

Ah @athingthateveryoneneeds you've reminded me to fill in the consultation on teaching sex and relationships! Closing date is 12th feb.
www.gov.uk/government/consultations/changes-to-teaching-of-sex-and-relationship-education-and-pshe
I think you can do it anonymously so there's something I can actually do!

OvaHere Fri 09-Feb-18 14:34:55

Yes I understand.

I'm a SAHM so no sticking my head above the parapet in that sense but in the last few weeks (the AWS crowdfunder was the turning point) I've become more vocal where I can. I've started putting my name to the petitions and consultations, writing letters and emails.

I think as it becomes clearer opposition to self ID and some of the more dubious aspects of the ideology is actually a majority view people will get braver and there is safety in numbers.

It has taken some very brave women like Jennifer James and others to get the ball rolling with some personal sacrifice.

Ironically it's sort of a non issue where I live and within my social circle. Hardly anyone bar a couple of other female friends seems to have a clue this war is raging.

athingthateveryoneneeds Fri 09-Feb-18 15:18:39

@Sadcister I haven't done that yet so thanks for sharing the link here.

Floisme Fri 09-Feb-18 15:40:42

I think I know what you mean, op. I remember when women's liberationists disrupted the Miss World contest in 1970. I was watching it on tv and felt so frustrated that I wasn't old enough to join in. And yet here I am, lurking on here and talking in whispers.

Destinysdaughter Fri 09-Feb-18 16:19:59

I do get what you’re saying OP. I’m anonymous on Twitter and don’t have any kind of reputation to ruin! I’ve been so incensed this last week I’ve been tweeting stuff a lot and I even wrote to my MP yesterday. I think it’s trying to get a critical mass so that ordinary pp can see what this is really about and hopefully creating a tipping point so this madness can be stopped! Do what you feel comfortable with OP.

Ekphrasis Fri 09-Feb-18 18:30:43

Anon on twitter works here.

Can have two accounts on the app.

Geronimoleapinglizards Fri 09-Feb-18 18:35:27

It's an awful feeling isn't it, realising you can't do much.

There will be lots of people in our shoes. What you can do is keep adding your voice (anonymously) to the debate. There are strength in numbers and those speaking out will undoubtedly value knowing they're backed by a silent army. Donate money to relevent crowdfunders and try and chat privately with other people you suspect feel the same as you

Trailedanderror Fri 09-Feb-18 18:59:40

That is one sneaky 'consultation'
I've submitted it so can't see the wording but it's variations along the lines of 'what do you think should be covered in pshe'
There's an anything else section, I certainly took it as that anyway and put something along these lines:
'Interested to note, or maybe I missed it that opinions on the teaching of transgenderism aren't elicited in this consulatation.
I would like to see tolerance and diversity covered but the specifics of body dysmorphia and self identification should not be addressed in a whole class setting in primary school or secondary school'

And probably not at secondary school either.

busyboysmum Fri 09-Feb-18 19:06:02

Come and join us on Twitter. Hardly anyone on there is under their real.name. Join your voice to the gender critical Cisters wink

Myunicornfliessideways Fri 09-Feb-18 19:25:30

I'm in a similar situation, OP. What I can do is read and post here. There have been a LOT of MNetters recently who have realised this is not what they thought they were supporting, and the information needs to be reiterated, the articles shared, the conversations supported. Just contributing here helps. And I'll very gladly support and hold the coats of and encourage the women who post here who go out to the meetings and write the articles and fight this on social media. I can't do it myself but I can support them and let them know I appreciate what they are doing.

Sadcister Fri 09-Feb-18 22:13:04

Anyone in particular I should follow on twitter then??

busyboysmum Fri 09-Feb-18 23:04:28

Loads. Type in gender critical and follow anyone who is 😁 we need a mumsnet sign so we can spot each other.

Destinysdaughter Fri 09-Feb-18 23:38:08

Sadcister if you PM me I'll send you my Twitter handle, I follow some great women!

hipsterfun Sat 10-Feb-18 00:18:32

If all you can do is talk, then talk. On here, or in real life, quietly if needs be. It all helps.

thebewilderness Sat 10-Feb-18 05:04:40

It would be good if you could report on what you see in the schools to the newspapers as letters to the editor. For every one they receive they figure there are many more people interested in the issue. So far only the demand for more access for trans identified males has been reported . Reporting on the repercussions of the current law on young people would be useful for people to know.

Sadcister Sat 10-Feb-18 17:37:33

OK I'm on twitter!
Not really sure who to follow but I've tweeted already!

Sadcister Mon 12-Feb-18 20:48:27

Bloody hell there's a lot of horrible stuff on twitter! Is it completely unregulated? I feel like I've fallen down the rabbit hole somewhat but it's comforting to know I'm not some horrible mean anomaly lol
I have nothing against people "identifying" however they choose, but the whole gender idea is just bollocks.
I mean I overheard a conversation where someone said they'd like to get a gender balance at some event they were organising, and a gender-neutral person suggested they should include non-binary genders too... I was thinking "but if we're all somewhere on a spectrum, there are an infinite number of genders, and the only way to represent them all would be to literally include the entire population!"

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