Why do some women still harp on about male victims of domestic violence?

[AnnaKissedFemm]

I deliver DV training and time and time again we get women questioning the clear and stark statistics we present, pointing out that men can be victims as well and it's so hard for men to talk about it and it's even harder for men and all the stats must be wrong because of under-reporting and blah blah blah. Unwilling to accept the facts.

I know there are male victims, I get it. But they are much less likely to experience high risk, violent, sustained violence. And they are much less likely to get killed by a partner or ex-partner.

Why is this? It's so depressing.

[Whatsinanameanyway201]

blah blah blah

You sound absolutely awful. How did you get a job like this?? I feel very concerned for the people you work with.

[MockneyReject]

Are personal of DV against men usually other men? Do you have the stats to hand?

[EamonnWright]

What is depressing is that someone with your views gives training on DV.

[MockneyReject]

Perps - autochange :/

[BeyondWW]

okay then...

Anna Socialisation, innit. Worry about the men even when stats say women are worse affected. :(

[MockneyReject]

What's wrong with the views of the OP?

[BeyondWW]

Men who are killed through DV are frequently new partners/friends/relatives of abused women. That is counted in DV stats.

[NannyOggsKnickers]

I agree. There seems to be some weird inversion going on at the moment where a man’s pain is always more important than a woman’s pain.

And don’t get me started on all the handmaidens who are in such a rush to support more visibility for men’s rights.

All domestic violence is wrong. But there is a reason we focus so much on women as the victims of domestic violence because they are the ones being killed in their hundreds.

It is kind of like discussing forced marriage and wanting to focus on how unfair it is for the men too. The older, very predatory men who have all the power in negotiation and total control over their wives.

[MockneyReject]

I was in refuge for 9 months. I reckon around 9/10 people, upon finding that out, straightaway told me that it happens to men, too.

[PerfectPenquins]

Can we not care about both and support both sexes when they are victims.

Because men are less likely to be killed does that mean we can not care or support them?

Does caring about male victims mean we can not care for female victims?

Also as a trainer in this issue you are disgraceful in the way you speak about other victims with your dismissive blah blah blah.

I care about both male and female victims no one should have to suffer.

[EggsonHeads]

It's most like a response to you not the statistics. They probably feel that you are being one side or dimissive and are reacting.

[Battleax]

The same reason they bang on about nasty ex wives and attend FFJ rallies.

[LangCleg]

Also, when the victim is male, the perp often is too. There is such a thing as DV in gay households.

[Redhead17]

Maybe it shouldn’t be such a taboo and we shouldn’t stereotype.

If some bloke got punched down the pub it would be discussed but DV not.

Also if you refer to it as blah blah maybe this isn’t the role for you

[Batteriesallgone]

In what context are the stats being presented?

Do they not believe them? Or think male victims are more significant?

[IrkThePurist]

Its a knee jerk response to anxiety, fear or dissonance caused by the message. Female socialisation/training is hard to break, especially when violence and fear are involved.
We aren't allowed to complain about our lot or put men in second place to women.

[Lovelylovelyladies]

Your welcome to go and sit on the grave of my uncle and tell him it's all blah blah blah.
Get a new job.

[Batteriesallgone]

Also it’s too painful to accept that they / their mate / their relative is a victim so they focus on the distant victims they don’t know.

If you actually acknowledge the stats you have to face the fact you are highly likely to know a DV victim.

[BeyondWW]

The op is delivering stats, there is no need for "but the men" when they are clearly included in the stats that she is delivering. OP is not dismissive about DV, she is dismissive of the "but the men"ing

victimfocus.wordpress.com/2018/01/03/stop-asking-me-what-about-men/

[BeyondWW]

(I'm assuming there that the stats the op is delivering are accurate, in which case they will contain men)

[GetDownDog]

It's Whataboutery isn't it?
Women cannot have problems without having to prioritise men.

[averylongtimeago]

It's always the same:
FGM - but what about circumcision
DV - but what about all the violent women
Rape - but women can rape men

I think you are getting a hard time about this OP, because "what about the men."

[EamonnWright]

OP is not dismissive about DV

Talking about harping on and blah blah blah let's us know she doesn't give a shit.

[GetDownDog]

It must get quite wearing the way people harp on about the poor men though.
I'd personally reach peak blah blah blah very quickly.

[IrkThePurist]

I'm surprised that DV training didn't include 'don't use gendered terms such as 'harp on' for women talking though.