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Yay! I've finally found my gender label

(116 Posts)
QuentinSummers Mon 11-Dec-17 18:55:37

AFAB non-binary femme apparently. Who's with me??!!
www.vice.com/amp/en_us/article/d3x8m7/five-queer-people-on-what-femme-means-to-them

Ereshkigal Mon 11-Dec-17 19:01:48

Non binary is trans. It's under the trans umbrella. So call yourself an AFAB femme transwoman. It's quite funny to see the reaction grin

QuentinSummers Mon 11-Dec-17 19:11:58

No erish don't you get it?! (Sarcasm) I'm not a woman. As an AFAB (I prefer coercively assigned female at birth, couldn't the midwife and my mother sense the non binariness?) I can't be a woman unless I was cis gendered and thats just not right. I have no gender identity. I'm a femme. Yay me. grin

LangCleg Mon 11-Dec-17 19:13:30

I honestly tried to read it but I couldn't make it beyond a few lines. These people are so infuriatingly self-reverential. It tries my soul.

But if we are playing the very enjoyable game of appropriating the genderists for once, instead of them appropriating all the rest of us...

... I'll go with agender.

This, to my mind hilariously, apparently qualifies you as under the trans umbrella despite its meaning being a statement of not having a gender identity.

QuentinSummers Mon 11-Dec-17 19:17:28

This paragraph totally confused me
"Like most femmes who are cis women, I contend with femme invisibility. Even in queer communities, femmes are often invalidated or overlooked. My queerness has been diminished and joked about by other queer people, which instills a level of self-doubt. Am I queer enough? Can I speak about being queer if I'm not seen as queer?"
I think she means lesbian when she says queer but I'm not 100% sure.

This is what describes me:
"Because I was AFAB (assigned female at birth) and look like a very classically “feminine” woman, some have the misconception that I’m not actually gender fluid. Which is frustrating, because gender identity is not predicated on appearance, and can also change, especially for gender fluid people. While I prefer “they” as a pronoun, I still use “she” interchangeably depending on how safe or comfortable I feel in a particular space."
Might make people start calling me "they".

TheFallenMadonna Mon 11-Dec-17 19:23:20

I don't get it. Femme doesn't mean feminine it means queer feminine? And no two queer femmes feel this queer femininity on the same way?

But, at least we know it's subversive. Because otherwise, you might just be a woman who likes lipstick. Which is not subversive at all.

Nuffaluff Mon 11-Dec-17 19:32:30

It's all about makeup and other superficial 'feminine' attributes.
My favourite quote is this:
I'm a queer femme with a dark lipstick exterior and a soft, glitter-like core.
Poor woman, it sounds like she probably finds it hard to think straight with all that glitter in her brain.
The whole thing reads like a spoof. I just can't imagine being this obsessed with myself! Why don't they think more about the real world?

HermioneWeasley Mon 11-Dec-17 19:35:28

Oh, poor you, are you only an AFAB non binary femme? I am an non binary, a gender, gender fluid, Demi boi. I am much more speshul and oppressed than you.

GerardNoWay Mon 11-Dec-17 19:36:54

Soooo self indulgent.

My particular favourite*: '*I am femme because, as a femme queer boi, I have always had more in common with women than with men or masculine people.'

Is that 'boi' like Avril Lavigne's 'Sk8er Boi'?

DoubleNegativePanda Mon 11-Dec-17 19:38:34

I'm pretty sure that if I actually spelled out what I think you are, I'd have my post deleted for breaking talk guidelines.

What I can most definitely say is that you're very, very rude.

QuentinSummers Mon 11-Dec-17 19:42:25

you're very, very rude.
Why? I'm actually serious. I love being an A FAB non binary femme

DoubleNegativePanda Mon 11-Dec-17 19:47:42

The whole thread reads as rudely making light of and making fun of people outside the gender binary. If that wasn't your intention and has simply been the tone of the responses you've gotten, I apologize.

QuentinSummers Mon 11-Dec-17 19:51:25

I am definitely making fun of the gender binary because it's a load of bollocks. But I am genuinely very happy not be be in the boring oppressive cis women class any more. I get very annoyed with people making assumptions that I am cis gender when I have no gender identity and actively reject gender.

PencilsInSpace Mon 11-Dec-17 19:53:09

We are all outside the gender binary.

TheFallenMadonna Mon 11-Dec-17 19:57:38

Is gender binary? Sex Is, but gender is surely a dimension?

DoubleNegativePanda Mon 11-Dec-17 19:58:48

So, you think you're not rude because you claim to have no gender identity but then say the gender binary is a load of bollocks and you're making fun of others. If you think anyone finds themselves in any gender-related confusion or transition because they're "tired of the boring oppressive class" you're also quite narrow-minded and mean.

My original opinion is affirmed.

Nuffaluff Mon 11-Dec-17 19:59:04

Gender is made up nonsense. Yes I am making fun of it.
As a feminist, I despair at this obsession with being defined by wearing makeup, shaving legs, etc. As if that's the very thing that defines what being a woman is.
Can you tell me what the gender binary is? What does it even mean?

LangCleg Mon 11-Dec-17 20:02:00

I'm also making fun of it.

Sex is a binary. Gender is a patriarchal imposition.

Every twit in that article is trying to claim a special dispensation of transness on the basis of their personalities and tastes. It's the epitome of first world nonsense.

MorrisZapp Mon 11-Dec-17 20:07:22

Oh fuck my old boots. Joanna was assigned female at birth and presents as femme. But nobody understands that she is gender fluid. Her most troubling dilemma is whether to shave her body hair or not.

Dearie me.

ludog Mon 11-Dec-17 20:07:47

Jesus, it's such naval gazing, snowflake bollocks ( although I do love 'post pronoun')!

DoubleNegativePanda Mon 11-Dec-17 20:08:37

I haven't even opened that article, so can't comment on it. Was simply remarking on the comments being made. I am most certainly allowed to think you are dickheads for making fun, just as you are allowed to BE dickheads in the first place. There's about as much point in arguing about this as there would be trying to convince a Trump supporter they're wrong as well.

Thelilywhite Mon 11-Dec-17 20:11:58

I get very annoyed with people making assumptions that I am cis gender when I have no gender identity and actively reject gender.
^^
This

AssassinatedBeauty Mon 11-Dec-17 20:13:06

"Sex is a binary. Gender is a patriarchal imposition."

I may have to get this on a t-shirt.

ludog Mon 11-Dec-17 20:13:12

@Double Negative Panda Perhaps if you read it you would understand why people are mocking it...it's absolute narcissistic drivel at its finest. I can't really understand you getting defensive about something you can't be bothered reading TBH.

QuentinSummers Mon 11-Dec-17 20:14:22

Read the article panda and see what you think.

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