I'm in Australia, land of forward thinking (ha ha). There's a TV ad for a bank - the plot goes like this: Guy and girl on a date. Girl starts ordering caviar, oysters and other expensive stuff. Guy tried to escape through the toilet window as the bill's going to be massive and seemingly his to pay.
This is sexist, right? It suggests both parties assume the man will pay for the date. Why wouldn't she pay at least half? I've done plenty of dating and would never assume the guy would fit the bill.
Sounds a little sexist. Also, everything Canal said!
Tangent: I do think that when it comes to paying the bill, it isn't as straightforward as always splitting it two ways. In my opinion if one party has asked the other one out and chosen an expensive restaurant, they should pay (especially if the other person didn't know in advance where they'd be going). If both people have a say in which restaurant they are going to, then the bill should be split. This should apply to platonic situations too.
Yep I accept many women expect the guy to pay but if we want equality then we should pay our way? OLD means people go on a lot of first dates that go nowhere. I really don't think men should pay for them all?
Agreed. But as a guy I understand perfectly well that I'm risking being viewed as tight if I don't pay. The way it usually seems to play out is that the woman reaches for her purse and offers but the guy then insists. I'd happily split it but if I'm honest I'll admit I always end up paying.
I wish I had the guts to stick to my principles tbh but it's tough when the date's going well and then the bill comes. If a woman insisted I think I'd be secretly very happy tbh but it's a quite rare occurrence - although becoming more common from what my friends tell me anyway.
astroterf But if she's offered, it may well mean that she is genuinely happy to pay, but backed down because you insisted! Two people in a stand off about who will pay can get boring and awkward very quickly. A bit like when two people trying to pass each other on a narrow pavement do that accidental dance where they both step to the same side again and again.
She can't read your mind, and may think that if you insist on paying after she has offered, she is doing you the favour by backing down. Or, she may not have been sincere in her offer at all. You don't know, but if it matters to you why don't you try backing down first on the "let me pay" dance?
Fair point squishy, but I have seen instances where the woman has complained that she couldn't believe the guy really made her pay. Can't remember what it was on. Might've been First Dates or maybe something else (appreciate this is anecdotal). There a specific phrase for it...the 'courtesy grab' or something (it's not that but somsthing similar).
I do think there is a certain 'affirmation of manhood' element involved too if I'm honest...
This could reasonably be equated with toxic masculinity at a stretch, but I think there are always going to be guys who want to play 'the big strong protector' and there will always be women who want to play the princess. A quick browse on POF will see many mentions of knights in shining armour and frogs...