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Help me manage this work situation!

(11 Posts)
BossyBitch Wed 06-Dec-17 17:46:54

Worst possible combination: New senior boss, male, has already triggered my 'suspected misogyny' spider sense a few times and New female junior staffer with severe confidence issues - I don't work with her directly but would, going by gut feeling, assess her as 'decent, with the potential to actually be good'.

She's had some feedback from a client for the very first time recently and has - due to what I suspect is her rather severe self-esteem issue paired with an unfortunate in this case openness - decided to take all her insecurities about the less than glowing parts to the new boss and be panicky about it.

He's now talking about terminating her. I'd give it at least another two months until I'd even consider such a thing if she was really as bad as she herself claims she is ...

I feel personally responsible for a number of reasons - but also very much want her not to stumble over this due to the situation really reading 'woman shooting herself in the foot professionally due to insecurities and senior man reading feeling his pre-existing prejudices about women in senior roles being confirmed.'

And, no, HR is not an option because ... reasons!

So, I'm about to order (not being her direct boss but being more senior) her to not go share her freak-outs about not being good enough with the boss but to woman up and pretend she's not freaking out until she learns actual realistic self-perception.

What else?

I can't believe I'm seeing this in action ... again!

DJBaggySmalls Wed 06-Dec-17 17:50:52

Tell her about Impostor Syndrome, and teach her to fake it til you make it. She cant go running to a senior boss at every freak out either.

BossyBitch Wed 06-Dec-17 17:51:01

Also, excuse the random words and typos. New phone's predictive text needs some training.

BossyBitch Wed 06-Dec-17 17:55:26

No she can't - and I'm about to tell her that!

The other thing I have done is tell senior boss to go get feedback from the client directly as I thought it might be nerves rather than actual incompetence ...

... if I'm lucky he might listen - mostly because I happen to manage the only stuff around this place where shit is not currently hitting the fan (while female, so I must practically be a man).

BossyBitch Thu 07-Dec-17 17:30:35

UPDATE: He's fired her! As the only other woman and the one female manager around this place, I'm sure I'm up next.

Not going down without a fight - try and fire me and I'll die your sorry arses. I've a 6 year top tier performance rating to argue on the basis on.

Also, I'm feeling lioness like levels of protectiveness towards my own women right now. And I'm scared as fuck! sad

BossyBitch Thu 07-Dec-17 17:31:27

*sue your arses, obviously. Though someone might be dying in the process ...

Ereshkigal Thu 07-Dec-17 17:34:28

Oh wow, what a shit.

BossyBitch Thu 07-Dec-17 17:36:26

I'm still shell shocked, really... don't know what to say.

Also, I'm still rather certain that this wouldn't have happened to man in the same position. We've been dragging along some rather useless men for years on end.

Ereshkigal Thu 07-Dec-17 17:38:22

Doesn't everywhere. Yes, it sucks.

whazzy Thu 07-Dec-17 17:44:12

Tell your now ex-colleague to see a solicitor or call acas.

Sorry on what basis did he fire her - is this in the uk as it isn't easy to just fire some one that quickly?

TeiTetua Thu 07-Dec-17 18:15:35

Sounds like missed opportunities here. It also sounds as though the poor woman willingly gave the boss all he needed to fire her, and suing the company will be hopeless.

If only the boss could have said "You just need a little more experience. Next time you meet a client, we'll have BossyBitch sit in with you, and she'll help you deal with it." Or something like that. Help people feel good about themselves and their situation, don't let them cut their own throats.

As for the incompetent men, they may or may not know how useless they are, but they sure as hell aren't going to talk about it.

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