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Ted Talk from the wife of a transitioned male

(23 Posts)
MadamMinacious Wed 06-Dec-17 09:44:36

This was shared in a rad fem group of mine. Shannon Thrace is very eloquent and reasonable in this talk. It puts across another side to the media spun ideal of being happy post transition. I just wanted to share on this board for those who haven't seen it. I really think anyone interested in this debate should watch it.

Ted Talk

nauticant Wed 06-Dec-17 10:17:47

That is really interesting.

Was it my imagination or did I see looks of discomfort on the faces of some of the audience?

MadamMinacious Wed 06-Dec-17 10:24:39

Some of them did look a little uncomfortable but I guess a different truth from what you have been fed can be uncomfortable. It's hard when you are naturally liberal and accepting of people as who they are to be confronted with this. I know I found it hard and sometimes I still do because I don't want to hurt people although I sincerely believe in the radical feminist perspective. I think people forget about the other people hurt in this issue. Like Shannon and the wives on our thread on this board.

birdbandit Wed 06-Dec-17 10:25:21

This was shared onto the Trans Widows thread, It seems we al have eerily similar stories.

And the discomfort? She'll be used to that.

MadamMinacious Wed 06-Dec-17 10:25:34

I really apologise for my punctuation in the above post. I need coffee.

MadamMinacious Wed 06-Dec-17 10:27:08

This was shared onto the Trans Widows thread, It seems we al have eerily similar stories.

Oh was it? I should have looked again. I have been reading bits of that thread. Like I said above i honestly think people just forget about the other people in this issue - the wives, families, dropped friends and we shouldn't.

nauticant Wed 06-Dec-17 10:41:06

One thing that might attract criticism (and it is a smorgasbord of things that will offend TRAs) is that from her perspective it all looks like a mental illness. There's no bravery there or underlying biological process, it just looks like out of control narcissism,

As it gets shared, the comments might get rather lively. At the moment reading them is heartening.

MadamMinacious Wed 06-Dec-17 11:42:39

Very true Nauticant. I'm sure it may attract criticism for many reasons. I believe her story to be a true and honest perspective, one that isn't often spoken out of fear.

I see now looking back that Datun posted it a while ago. Apologies for repeating the link.

birdbandit Wed 06-Dec-17 12:28:32

PLEASE don't apologise! Folk should see this.

BadenBadenBadenBaden Wed 06-Dec-17 14:47:57

When I saw it on the other thread I was going to ask Datun to start a new thread with the video, so I'm glad that someone else has.

Ereshkigal Wed 06-Dec-17 18:02:18

It's a great video. I was going to post it too, glad people have.

Lottapianos Wed 06-Dec-17 18:20:32

Good for her for having her side of the story heard. Very interesting video. I'm totally horrified by the example she gave of a university student being refused permission to conduct research into people who regret transitioning on the grounds that it was not 'politically correct'. It's quite something when even universities are becoming scared of thinking!

Ereshkigal Wed 06-Dec-17 18:50:44

Yes, that's James Caspian at Bath Spa. I think there have been several threads about it here.

user1496321962 Wed 06-Dec-17 19:05:06


Rachel40s Wed 06-Dec-17 19:43:54

MadamMinacious - Please don't apologise for re-sharing. It's a very important viewpoint that needs to be heard! I read the Trans Widows thread and watched this video. It's important to get this balanced, rational and honest view heard.

nauticant - I'm Transsexual (some on this thread might already know that) and believe me - what is described in that video is most definitely mental illness, unbelievable narcissism, manipulation and downright abuse. That's absolutely nothing to do with transsexualism and I'm ashamed to share the first 5 letters with this sickness. However, Transsexual/Transgender have become so inter-twined that government and lawmakers are considering awarding Women's rights to these nutcases based on self-certification. How the hell has it got to this stage? The original GRA affected a tiny percentage of the population who had to go to (frankly) extraordinary lengths to "prove" what is, after all, an extraordinary claim! Maybe if it had stayed that way, we could have all just got along - we were so few, it wasn't that much of an issue. I don't know. " Offend TRAs "?? Damn right! Surely, it's about time to fight back against this kind of situation. Maybe right-thinking transsexuals can be of help in this. ("Right" as in correct; not necessarily as in right-wing). Surely, exposing more and more of these stories is the best defence. Educate the public. It's those standing up to tell these stories who are the genuinely brave ones. There lies real risk in doing so. Doing what's right in the face of risk is (in my book) Bravery.

Lottapianos - what a brilliant statement - " even universities are becoming scared of thinking ". Sums it up exactly.

Can a transsexual hit "Peak Trans"? I think I just did. FFS.

DamsonGin Wed 06-Dec-17 20:00:18

Thank you for sharing, hadn't seen that before.

PricklyBall Wed 06-Dec-17 20:17:15

Thanks for adding your voice in, Rachel. I completely agreed - genuine transsexual people are being thrown under the bus by this as well.

nauticant Wed 06-Dec-17 20:21:20

No worries, Rachel40s. I realise that this new trans umbrella has been spread so widely it covers all sorts including some good people.

ZigZagandDustin Wed 06-Dec-17 20:31:02

I think you have to consider that the sort of person who hides a massive part of themselves and tricks a woman into thinking she is getting a husband, family and future as per the traditional set up, is rarely going to be the sort of person who is selfless, loving and fair to their partner. I'm not surprised so many of the real stories from trans widows are pretty horrific.

It's not about being trans, it's about what kind of person they are.

GardenGeek Wed 06-Dec-17 21:09:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nooka Thu 07-Dec-17 05:39:46

Brave lady. I hope she doesn't get ripped apart too much (or as I'm sure she will be attacked that she has a lot of support around her).

Interesting to hear about the connection with porn.

LangCleg Thu 07-Dec-17 09:05:32

Rachel40s - I think you'll find almost everyone posting in this section of Mumsnet is entirely supportive of transsexuals. I know I am. A growing realisation that the current iteration of transactivism is as injurious to the progress transsexuals (including friends of mine) have made in society as it is to women's rights, is partly what pushed me to peak trans. Thanks for adding your voice.

MadamMinacious Thu 07-Dec-17 09:27:24

I'm glad I posted then, thanks for the comments. I think these previously silent people need to be heard.

Rachel, thank you for adding your voice I echo the sentiment that most people on this board support transsexuals because this isn't about hate, its about the widening of the trans umbrella to allow intolerable behaviour from a section of men towards women on a flimsy premise of bigotry or transphobia. I can see how this part of trans hurts those who genuinely need our support and understanding and friendship. I feel like the natural ally of transsexuals and I've never ever had any issue. It is the GRA and the aggressive campaigning of more narcissist individuals that has changed how I see things. I'm thankful for this board and for people like you Rachel and Bird and all the regular contributors for the rational critical thinking and personal perspectives.

I hope that makes sense. I'm on my phone and I've been mainlining lemsip, my head is fuzzy from the cold.

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