I think my DH is a fully paid up subscriber to the 50:50 fallacy. In fact, he probably imagines that he does more.
I do all the cooking, shopping and meal planning. DH used to be responsible for clearing up after dinner but he’s delegated that to DS1, who sorts out the dishwashers and wipes down all the surfaces. DH will now leave a plate on the side if the dishwasher is full of clean dishes because it is DS’s ‘job’, despite the fact that it’s lunchtime and DS1 isn’t even in the house.
He does the laundry. Sometimes. I regularly do it because it hasn’t been done and I or DS2 need clean clothes. DS1 sorts his own laundry.
DH used to hoover. But DS1 does that now, or I do it. Very occasionally DH will clean the bathrooms but usually I get that lovely job.
I take DS2 to school and pick him up. DH insists on getting a lift to the train station while I’m doing this, and I’m sure that in his mind this is sharing the school run rather than me having another chore.
DS1 does the grass cutting. DH cuts the hedge twice a year. But I have to help sweep up all the branches etc. DH think he does the DIY, but it’s much like the hedge with more me sorting out his messes. For example, he recently wanted to paint the legs for the kitchen table. He didn’t have the right paint and didn’t sand them adequately so he made a horrible mess. So I had to go and buy the right paint, sand all his paint off, and then paint them myself.
DH puts the wheelie bins out, except when he forgets (like today). Or when I do it. I empty the kitchen bin more often than he does (but in his mind he does it all the time).
I do all the insurances etc, and then he throws a fit that I can’t immediately produce a bit of paperwork from my pocket when he wants to see it and starts going on about how he has to do everything etc etc.
He has an incredible capacity for utterly ignoring everything I do, while getting annoyed if he’s doing something and I’m not. So he’ll find things to passive aggressively task me with (why is that pile of stuff there?) if I’m sitting around while he’s putting laundry away. But manages not to notice that he sat around playing videogames/watching YouTube while I wrote a shopping list, went to the supermarket, put all the food away and cooked a meal.
He also has a magic trick where he gets all the nice, fun times with DS2 while I get to supervise homework, piano practice, listen to him read and so on. He complains if those things take too long and cut into his pretending to be superdad time. Sometimes he’s do the same ‘I have to sleep everything martyr act’ over missed homework and say he’ll do it (properly). But that never lasts.
its grim isn't it?