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Robert Webb on Graham Norton today. I DESPAIR!!!

(49 Posts)
Fosterdog123 Sat 18-Nov-17 14:43:28

Started off really well. He was there to flog his book (called something like how not to be a boy) and said that he encouraged men to be feminists and having 2 daughters really made him think about how wide-spread male dominance is, even down to the symbol on traffic lights being a little green MAN etc etc. Hurrah, thought I, at last, a man who gets it and is prepared to stick his neck out about this stuff. How naive was I though! Almost immediately, he went on to say that feminism was the 'right thing to do' cos it's good for men. For men???? Ffs. I know human beings are typically selfish and only really in it for themselves and therefore men are no different but eff off and leave feminism alone if you're just gonna use it to further the cause of MEN!!!! Or AIBU? To bastardise a supermarket phrase, does every little help?

dorislessingscat Sat 18-Nov-17 14:45:08

I think you should read his book before you judge him.

dorislessingscat Sat 18-Nov-17 14:46:44

And he’s not “furthering the cause of men” in the traditional sense. He’s pointing out that toxic masculinity and patriarchy is bad for men and women.

Rheged Sat 18-Nov-17 14:54:09

He has a point. The patriarchy damages everyone - men and women both. And realistically, you are not going to get most men to care about feminism unless they think there’s something it it for them. Have you read his book? It’s very good.

HumphreyCobblers Sat 18-Nov-17 14:54:55

His book is a very interesting look at how patriarchy works out negatively for men, in that it stunts their emotions, teaches them to behave in unhelpful ways etc. Not a 'let's use feminism to keep men on top'.

DJBaggySmalls Sat 18-Nov-17 15:12:09

I'm glad he said feminism is good for men. Its going to take men to say it for it to be taken seriously. Its pointless saying feminism is good for women, nobody cares.
Patriarchy damages men, it isolates them from us and from their own children. It puts pressure on men to marry and financially support women.
The current drive towards the MRA agenda is no different from or better than patriarchy, it isnt liberating men, its making them hostile and paranoid.

AssignedPerfectAtBirth Sat 18-Nov-17 15:25:23

Robert Webb is a good 'un. Also targetted on twitter for making TERF statements. He was somewhat bewildered and commented on how much shit women must get on twitter and social media

Saucery Sat 18-Nov-17 15:29:57

I don’t particularly want men to blather on about how feminism is good for women. They often aim for supportive but just hit patronising instead.
I would read his book, as others have said. It doesn’t single handedly beat misogyny or bloody the nose of the patriarchy but it does show the effect of stopping to think about them and how they affect men.

qumquat Sat 18-Nov-17 16:17:54

I'd highly recommend his book too. My DP found it a really emotional read as he found it discussed issues he'd experienced he hadn't been able to put a name to before.

Elendon Sat 18-Nov-17 17:26:44

I've bought this book for my son (16) for xmas.

I have no problems with his saying feminism is for men. None at all.

birdsdestiny Sat 18-Nov-17 17:28:34

It was the right thing to say I think. It's the only way people will listen.

motmot Sat 18-Nov-17 17:28:57

I heard him reading excerpts of his book on the radio, it was indeed quite insightful and reflective.

AnyFucker Sat 18-Nov-17 17:30:35

I also believe that feminism benefits men.

BagelGoesWalking Sat 18-Nov-17 17:32:22

Didn’t see GN yet but Robert Webb seems pretty thoughtful about the subject. I bought his book for my DS26.

SerendipityFelix Sat 18-Nov-17 18:12:11

I have the book on my ‘to read’ pile... bit of a tangent, but what do people think of giving it as a gift for a 17year old boy I’ve been matched with for the Met Christmas appeal? I know literally nothing about this young man apart from his age and sex. It wouldn’t be the only gift, part of a little package, but is it too....... prosetylising?

Bizarrely I also have a 15yo girl to buy for and don’t have any qualms about slipping an intro to feminism type book in her package!

dorislessingscat Sat 18-Nov-17 18:16:13

I think it would depend on the 17 year old boy. Some of it is definitely wisdom of hindsight which a 17 year old won’t have obviously. It might feel to him you are trying to teach him something he thinks he already knows.

MarmaladeIsMyJam Sat 18-Nov-17 18:22:18

You haven’t read his book. You’re getting the totally wrong end of the stick.

Fosterdog123 Sat 18-Nov-17 18:53:45

He was on his radio show, not tv.

Thanks all for sharing your views. Really interesting insights. I'm relatively new to feminist thinking and I think I'm still finding my feet and developing my opinions and so was perhaps a little over-simplistic in my take on it.

birdsdestiny Sat 18-Nov-17 19:04:27

Foster, run fast. The feminism threads on here have introduced me to critical thinking, and have altered my opinions on a number of things, no good can come of it I tell yougrin. But strangely I like it here.

AnyFucker Sat 18-Nov-17 19:30:55

Stick around, Foster

Questioning minds. That's what we need. I have learned such a lot round these parts.

RaininSummer Sat 18-Nov-17 19:35:06

I wonder if my 30 year old son in law would like/learn something from this book.

MadamMinacious Sat 18-Nov-17 19:36:59

I listened to his book on Audible, it was really good actually and I agree with many of his ideas on gender. I think feminism IS good for men (although the primary focus is women) because it advocated dismantling the constructs of gender and that helps everyone in the long run.

Anyway good to see you on the forum Foster, come take a seat smile

MadamMinacious Sat 18-Nov-17 19:37:46


MadamMinacious Sat 18-Nov-17 19:38:31

Serendipity - I think it would be a great present for a boy. I want my son to read it too.

LangCleg Sat 18-Nov-17 20:33:55

His book is very much about the ways in which patriarchy damaged him as a boy growing up and I also think he was trying to say that it will be good for men (not just women) if feminism succeeds in dismantling it.

He's gone as close to the dreaded terfitude on Twitter as anyone wanting to protect a media career has managed - but I don't blame anyone who can't quite bring themselves to risk it all. He's openly said he wants to abolish gender on there - and that's so much more than many.

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