DD's body image/ body positivity

[pinkliquorice]

I don’t know if this is really the correct topic but I’ll try.

I have suffered from eating disorders since the age of 13, which I know is the result of me being a female and the sexualisation and expectations I was given by men when I was really young.
(Yes I know eating disorders affects boys too)
As I still struggle with my body image and relationship with food I feel so totally useless at teaching my DD’s to have healthy relationship with their body.
How are you encouraging body positivity and not letting your DC’s fall victim of the media and unrealistic expectations?
Any advice would be really welcome.

[DJBaggySmalls]

Encourage them towards sports if you can, whatever they enjoy. Sportswomen have to be fit to be able to participate or compete. And learn about nutrition rather than 'healthy eating' or dieting. Nutrition is about what your body needs, and its too easy to forget we actually need nutrients.

[pinkliquorice]

@DJBaggySmalls

Thank you for replying, I do encourage sports and my eldest two DD’s are both very into dance and gymnastics. I know this is good but I worry sports like this can cause more problems and I know my relationship with exercise was unhealthy, so I panic they are doing too much.
I’ve tried never to use the word diet in front of my Dc also.

[DJBaggySmalls]

You know how sometimes when we've had a problem, our alarms can be set to go off too early? Could this be more of a problem for you than your DD's?
I went for counselling when mine reached a certain age, because I realised I was becoming hyper vigilant, just because of my own childhood. I'm not saying thats the ideal solution for you. But maybe have a chat with their tutors? Or even look into a parenting course? You might be pleasantly surprised with how much you are doing thats right...

[QuentinSummers]

pink did your problematic relationship with exercise start before or after your ED? (I guess I'm asking did you do exercise as part of your ED)?
I agree with dj, I did a shit load of exercise as a teen so could basically eat whatever and never thought about food. Still don't really.
I try really hard not to complain about my body hang ups in front of my children.

[LassWiTheDelicateAir]

Encourage them towards sports if you can, whatever they enjoy

If they enjoy sport. There is an accepted wisdom on FWR that all girls love sport but are only put off it by socilaisation/ the media/ boys whatever. I loathed sport at school and still do. I found it tedious and pointless. I can't think of anything worse than being encouraged to take up sport, especially for the reason here.

You know how sometimes when we've had a problem, our alarms can be set to go off too early? Could this be more of a problem for you than your DD's?

This however I agree with wholeheartedly.
Despite being the least sporty child imaginable (beyond walking and cycling to our village) I was very slim naturally by today's standards I'd have been deemed to be underweight - I wasn't and was and still am a very healthy person. Be careful you do not project your own anxieties on to her.

[pinkliquorice]

@DJBaggySmalls

Thank you, I don’t think I have particular concerns as they are all happy and healthy. I’m just panicking that I don’t have the skills or ability to raise 3 girls and don’t want them to ever have to suffer. But I guess so far I seem to be doing well.

[pinkliquorice]

@QuentinSummers

I was really sporty as a child and competed which of think into my teens contributed to the beginning of my eating disorder as I had so much pressure to look good in minimal outfits and be fit, which is what I’m worried about for my DD’s, but I know this doesn’t have to lead to an eating disorder.
I think just in general I don’t think about exercise reasonably and healthily. And yes I have always tried to never make negative comments about my body to my DC.

[pinkliquorice]

@LassWiTheDelicateAir

My main worry is that I am going to project my anxieties into them.
My eldest 2 DD’s enjoy gymnastics and dance and my little one is only 3 so I don’t know yet, I will be careful not to force a like of sport or exercise on her.

[Hellywelly10]

Sounds like your doing fine and have self awareness. Society is changing hopefully our daughters won't have to put up with what we did in the past.

[pinkliquorice]

@Hellywelly10

Thank you and I really hope so too!