I didn't change my name because it was expected. My husband and I sat down and had a long discussion about what we wanted our children to be called, and how we all wanted the same family name. All options were discussed including him changing, me changing, double barrelling and making up an entirely new name. What worked best for us happened to be me changing my name and I did so happily.
My husband set up his own business shortly before I fell pregnant. What became apparent very quickly whilst I was working was that both of us carrying on wasn't an option. On balance, given earning potential, flexibility, and many other factors, me giving up work to be a SAHM was the best option. I now work (very) part time for our business although am an equal shareholder.
None of this makes me any less of a feminist.