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Can Having Genital Preferences for Dating Mean You’re Anti-Trans?

(76 Posts)
secular111 Thu 12-Oct-17 21:25:00

From Everyday Feminism - though I still reckon the site is a satire site.

everydayfeminism.com/2017/04/cissexist-say-never-date-trans/

Anyway, in summary - basically if you don't date trans folk, you are 'cissexist'.

'So if we look a little deeper into this issue, there’s the possibility of your genital preferences being at least somewhat partially informed by growing up in a cissexist society. There’s also the fact that a preference is different than saying you would never do something.'

OrderMeACurry Thu 12-Oct-17 21:41:38

Well I'm a transwoman who is only attracted to men. I would never date or have sex with anyone with a vagina, regardless of how they identify so I guess according to Everyday Feminism I am anti-trans.

OrderMeACurry Thu 12-Oct-17 21:46:16

Just had a quick look at Everyday Feminism and found this little gem on the 'article' about how you may have committed cis-sexism (aka transphobia):

"XY does not indicate a biological man and XX does not indicate a biological woman."

So what does indicate a biological man and biological women if not you know, biology? They don't honestly believe the shite they post do they?

BamburyFuriou3 Thu 12-Oct-17 21:57:14

Yes, yes they do. That's what's so scary

Mrskeats Thu 12-Oct-17 22:00:43

Women don’t have penises. The end.

kua Thu 12-Oct-17 22:04:29

order you are apparently doing trans wrong and as such must rescind your membership to the "Gender Feelz against Feelz Bodies "dating group.

lostlilly Thu 12-Oct-17 22:06:58

don't get this? a transwoman...is that a man who lives as a woman or a woman that lives as a man?

PricklyBall Thu 12-Oct-17 22:07:48

Has Everyday Misogyny gone bust yet? I heard they were teetering on the brink.

Totally with you, order. I've met a few women I've kind of been drawn to... but getting up close to another woman's vulva, nope, not my thing.

Schtinkay Thu 12-Oct-17 22:12:15

No such thing as a woman with a penis

Bucketsandspoons Thu 12-Oct-17 22:14:38

There was a very good YouTube reply to this by Magdalen Burns m.youtube.com/watch?v=F_5FFGrGzJw.

But basically the argument that innate feelings are just silly political ideas invalidates gay, straight, bi and trans.

And also apparently straight people and gay/ bi men can go right on having their innate political feelings. It's just lesbian women who need to shut up and get their knickers off in the wider cause of serving social justice, because personal boundaries are wrong. Or something.

I think my favourite part of that video is where RD explains that if you have experienced sexual trauma and that is the root of your refusing to agree to service, then that is very kindly an ok reason but you are expected to get over said trauma asap please, it's a time limited excuse.

It's so utterly and self indulgently nuts it isn't worth engaging with.

SentimentalLentil Thu 12-Oct-17 22:20:25

The worst bit of that for me is at the end where she says that basically even if you're not a terf and you think that trans women are women that if you're not attracted to both sets of genitals then your siding with terfs and that's just as bad.

Seriously what a load of manipulative crap.

PricklyBall Thu 12-Oct-17 22:31:07

Oh god, I'd forgotten RD saying "well, it's sort of okay to recoil a bit if you've suffered sexual violence, so long as you make the effort to work through it and come out the other side able to appreciate a good bit of lady dick."

L0quacious Thu 12-Oct-17 22:35:26

ofgs! like men are ever going to do anything they don't want to do! But people with vaginas have to.

Schtinkay Thu 12-Oct-17 23:00:39

Lady dick?!

Fuck off

LassWiTheDelicateAir Thu 12-Oct-17 23:14:08

basically if you don't date trans folk, you are 'cissexist'.

And so what? I'm a heterosexual woman. I don't even like seeing other naked women in a changing room. There is no possibility of my having sex with a person who has a vagina. The thought of touching someone else's vagina is revolting.

As for people with penises-that is fine as long as they don't also have breasts.

DJBaggySmalls Thu 12-Oct-17 23:18:54

No it can't.
But telling gay people they should get to like the genitals of the opposite sex or be branded anything is homophobic conversion therapy, it breaches the Equality Act 2010, and its hate speech.

Bucketsandspoons Fri 13-Oct-17 00:42:21

I have a feeling the argument goes that it's ok for someone who is trans to say that because of the privilege ideology. Like the gem that a trans woman can't rape a woman because it's impossible to rape someone more privileged than yourself, and you mustnt call that rape, you just experienced unwanted sex.

Thankfully at the moment the law doesn't agree. (But action for trans health as an organisation want and end to police and courts and the release of all trans prisoners, including the severe sexual offenders.)

Sadly the above isn't sarcasm, it's the straight truth.

FeedMeAndTellMeImPretty Fri 13-Oct-17 00:46:01

ofgs! like men are ever going to do anything they don't want to do! But people with vaginas have to. precisely L0quacious - it's only lesbians who are expected to ignore their genital preferences and suck a lady dick.

There's no way I'd get up close and personal with boobs, vulvas or anyone whose body I didn't find sexually attractive (including pasty hairless men and blonds!) If that means I'm committing a hate crime, I'll take the punishment rather than shag someone I don't find attractive.

FeedMeAndTellMeImPretty Fri 13-Oct-17 00:46:40

shock Buckets - it gets worse.

FloraFox Fri 13-Oct-17 01:34:38

I''m always hmm at this notion of "genital preferences" as if it was just the genitals that are relevant to sexual preferences, which these people argue you don't even know about just by looking at / being attracted to someone. While there are a smallish number of people who can be mistaken for someone of the opposite sex (trans or not), the vast majority of people (including trans people, especially TIMs) are easily identifiable as their actual sex. Physical attraction generally encompasses other identifiers of sex to varying degrees not just genitals, even in gender non-conforming people or people who might look a bit more like the opposite sex (e.g. if people are very thin or very fat, it can be harder to tell the difference). This is part of the gas lighting by TAs that it is only a genital difference because they delude themselves about how much TIMs look like women.

DressedCrab Fri 13-Oct-17 07:07:57

This is part of the gas lighting by TAs that it is only a genital difference because they delude themselves about how much TIMs look like women.

This has to be stopped. What can we do?

noeffingidea Fri 13-Oct-17 07:45:01

I couldn't date a transman or a transwoman. I'm only attracted to men who present as masculine. If that makes me transphobic or a terf then so be it.
It's really time people started calling out this shit, in support of the people who are being sexually harassed ie lesbians.

MagdalenLaundry Fri 13-Oct-17 07:59:42

Trans women are the only ones allowed to have genital preference.
A penis is triggering so they are fine to demand bio women
A woman who has been raped is given a penis free card to work through her issues then she must accept female penis

CredulousThickos Fri 13-Oct-17 08:09:06

God this is revolting. It’s a complete whitewashing of biology and sexuality.

And yes, it’s very ‘interesting’ how the onus is on lesbians to worship the mighty penis. I don’t see many TA’s calling on straight men to suck their lady dicks.

How is it not rape culture to tell ANYONE they have to accept a preference other than their own? If a blond man said I had to fuck him even though I don’t fancy blond men (or, you know, him specifically), he would be raping me. Why is this any different. It’s all about women being objects for men to put their dicks in, regardless of whether they want said dick.

nauticant Fri 13-Oct-17 08:15:45

As Erasmus might have said, in the land of the trans the bepenised woman is king.

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