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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Argh "maiden" name

132 replies

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 08/09/2017 13:54

What can I use instead of the term "maiden name"?

"Unmarried name" does not sound right. "Previous name" ditto.

Never should have changed the bloody thing in the first place.

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Orangebird69 · 08/09/2017 13:56

Given name?

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SerfTerf · 08/09/2017 13:57

Birth name. Natal name?

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SerfTerf · 08/09/2017 13:57

Original name?

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HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 08/09/2017 14:03

For some reason Given, Birth, Previous name make me feel like I have changed it for some reason other than marriage, which I realise makes no sense. Somehow as if I changed my first name as well or something. Does anyone know what I mean?

I just hate the word maiden.

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Itscurtainsforyou · 08/09/2017 14:05

Someone said to me once: "oh you e kept your maiden name have you?" I gave a hard stare and said no, it's not my maiden name, it's MY name, that I've had all my life.

In your situation OP I'd refer to it as your birth name (that you are now reverting back to?).

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CoxsOrangePippin · 08/09/2017 14:06

Your original surname?

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jeSuisDansLeFromage · 08/09/2017 14:06

I say birth name. I think lots of people do. Even ignoring the ickyness of maiden name it just sounds quite old fashioned

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SerfTerf · 08/09/2017 14:08

I tend to say my "own" name and "married" name but I couldn't whole heartedly recommend it because it does cause confusion. It's what falls unthinkingly off my tongue and only workable because a) I mostly use my own name and b) I'm pretty impervious to social kerfuffle.

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Chocolatear · 08/09/2017 14:17

I didn't change my name after I married.
The name I use is not my maiden name, it's my name. The name I was born with. I have no intention of changing it in spite of my MIL addressing everything to Mrs her name, and my mother thinking I'm breaking the law.

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SerfTerf · 08/09/2017 14:20

and my mother thinking I'm breaking the law.

😂

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HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 08/09/2017 14:26

in spite of my MIL addressing everything to Mrs her name

I get Mrs DH Firstname Marriedname

So going from being Elizabeth Brown (say) to Mrs David White

Angry

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LoveaGoodBath · 08/09/2017 14:27

To be fair that is the correct way of addressing an envelope to a married woman!

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SerfTerf · 08/09/2017 14:29

Are you posting from a Georgette Heyer novel Love? Smile

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BenLui · 08/09/2017 14:31

Hearts what context do you need to use it in?

On most forms it just says "previous names".

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HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 08/09/2017 14:41

Ben it's a bit trivial actually. I am emailing DD2's new teacher and my email address is very obviously my name - except it's my birth name (say) [email protected]

and I just wanted to let her know that I am actually called Elizabeth White. In my example DD2 is Emma White.

way overthinking this

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eurochick · 08/09/2017 14:49

Just sign the email with your current name. Lots of people's names don't tally up with their email addresses.

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WhereDidThatTurtleComeFrom · 08/09/2017 14:51

To be fair that is the correct way of addressing an envelope to a married woman!

It really isn't if they've requested you not to do so or if you were born anytime after 1876.

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SerfTerf · 08/09/2017 14:54

and I just wanted to let her know that I am actually called Elizabeth White. In my example DD2 is Emma White.

Can you put it in the signature as "known as" or similar? You just want the unfussiest way of communicating the info, don't you?

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TheSparrowhawk · 08/09/2017 14:56

'To be fair that is the correct way of addressing an envelope to a married woman!'

The correct way to address someone is to use their actual name, ie the name they themselves use.

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BenLui · 08/09/2017 14:57

Just sign it Elizabeth White then. Several of my friends use their married name but have email addresses in their previous names.

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WhereDidThatTurtleComeFrom · 08/09/2017 14:57

Just sign it with your name? Also update your email so that it reads Elizabeth Brown in the from section even if the email Is [email protected]

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PolkaDotty7 · 08/09/2017 14:58

"given name" refers to the first name so I think saying that would be too confusing. The traditionally correct way of saying it is, Elizabeth Brown née White.

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PolkaDotty7 · 08/09/2017 14:59

Or Elizabeth Brown (née White) in brackets.

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MaisieDotes · 08/09/2017 15:00

I don't think you need to clarify. If you sign the email in the name you are known as, then that's all that should be required.

Your email address is an address, not a name.

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SerfTerf · 08/09/2017 15:02

At one point I used to informally double barrel for school related matters (complicated blended family).

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