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(76 Posts)
ohhohoa Fri 18-Aug-17 13:41:55

I may well get deleted or kicked off for this, I don't know. Tell me if we're not supposed to talk about other forums here and I'll report myself.

But have any of you visited Reddit's "ask transgender" page (

This post in particular has me particularly angry for some reason now (though it's far from unique on that subreddit).

How ... but ... what?

We get to wear pretty dresses and be short?

LassWiTheDelicateAir Fri 18-Aug-17 13:46:39

Well we do get to wear pretty dresses. I'm 5'4" -is that short?

Seriously that person is an idiot.

SylviaPoe Fri 18-Aug-17 13:59:18

No, it's average female height.

CommonSenseIsNotAllThatCommon Fri 18-Aug-17 14:49:52

Wow. We get to be short and wear dresses. The very fucking epitome of being female is to be aesthetically pleasing.

NKFell Fri 18-Aug-17 14:52:21

Lucky me for getting to shop for pretty things!

That person just shows how realistically they have no idea of what it is to be a woman.

VestalVirgin Fri 18-Aug-17 14:54:29

Well, at least he realizes that his resentment is a problem.

annandale Fri 18-Aug-17 14:55:05

'I feel like everything I have to work so hard for, they got for free'

Up to a point, Lord Copper.

Mountainviewloo Fri 18-Aug-17 14:55:22

Jesus wept.

BigDeskBob Fri 18-Aug-17 14:55:24

We get to be short? Does anyone chose their height?

Men can wear pretty dresses too.

SerfTerf Fri 18-Aug-17 14:58:23

Shit I forgot to be short and "cute" and shop for pretty things.

annandale Fri 18-Aug-17 15:03:59

I am really sorry to diagnose from three paragraphs of text, but if there were ever someone who sounds like a gender-critical gay man with depression, it's that person. Hope they find happiness in the body they were born with.

ThinkAboutItTomorrow Fri 18-Aug-17 20:08:33

Going against the flow I find this quite helpful. It's someone talking quite openly about why they struggle with women born as women, acknowledging jealousy.

Whilst lumping every woman into the same physical description and assuming a common desire for stereotyped femininity is daft I can see that if you long for the trappings of the stereotype 'woman' and you're a strapping great bloke you would look at petite women with envy. I can only imagine how they feel when they meet a small woman who doesn't dress to the stereotype , so much pretty potential wasted!

rhodanunn Fri 18-Aug-17 21:30:29

Absolutely, ThinkAboutItTomorrow.

Most people are not feminists and do subscribe to the idea of natural order of masculine men and feminine women as being entrenched biologically. This is why the "she would be so beautiful if she just made the most of herself with a bit of effort" trope is flung around, usually by the loved ones of that individual.

I do feel sorry for that person and other trans people that I presume have their dysphoria (but as PP said, not diagnosing) fuelled by this stereotype driven jealously. There's just too many jumps to ask of someone suffering to try and unravel their own bodily incongruence when they are using the patriarchal frameworks of society to understand themselves. Perhaps thats why many of the vocal trans women who disagree with the trans activist narrative seem to have rationalised their suffering, or at least not be entirely consumed by it.

OlennasWimple Sat 19-Aug-17 00:20:59

That is one of the less infuriating posts I have seen on /asktransgender TBH

SophoclesTheFox Sat 19-Aug-17 05:33:28

I'm 6' confused I feel oppressed by short privilege.

I've seen worse, to be honest, there are some posts on there that are quite distressing in their naked hatred of womankind. But yes, the poster seems to have spent a lot more time thinking about dresses than about the "major challenges" women might face. It always startles me to see how similar the narrative is to an MRA - women have it easy because they're attractive, it makes me feel bad, I want what they have etc. It must be horrible to be simultaneously covetous of something you really quite despise.

Datun Sat 19-Aug-17 07:17:26

I agree, that's very mild in comparison to a lot of stuff I've seen. It's the underlying envy that I find difficult. Because it illustrates the desperate need for everyone else to collude.

It's too much to expect women to shore up your self image due to your envy of that very image.

Particularly when that image is so damaging for women in the first place. And it's something that is rigourously enforced by men everywhere, including this one.

I want to be a pretty plaything, because I see women as pretty playthings. It's so much more than just insulting. It's demeaning the very thing he professes to be. It's a double whammy.

SerendipityFelix Sat 19-Aug-17 07:32:35

Honestly reading that just makes me feel huge sadness for 'Emma', that they have been sucked in to the new trans ideology and seem to wholeheartedly believe that their non-conformation to heterosexual male stereotype (a) is a problem in the first place and (b) is caused by their body being wrong. They sound desperately unhappy just being themselves, and I'm angry that they've been sold the idea that the solution to that is in a bottle of pills and at the end of a surgeon's knife.

Yes, it is plainly ridiculous that they seem to view 'being female' as meaning 'short, cute, wears dresses and pretty things'. They're viewing 'female' through the lens of a heterosexual male, and they want to be attractive to that male.

But there does seem to be some self-awareness there. Perhaps if there were a greater emphasis on options for gender-critical support and therapy for people experiencing this kind of dysphoria, people like Emma could be helped to actually become happy being who they really are, rather than spending a lifetime dependent on pharmaceuticals, rendering them infertile, with physical scars and all the attendant risks of surgery, and still suffer the same rates of depression etc. Patriarchy is trapping these people as much as it traps all women.

It feels so frustrating that we could all be on the same page.

Datun Sat 19-Aug-17 07:52:22


I completely agree. He comes across as depressed, fragile and hopeless (in the true meaning of the word).

He should be on a psychiatrist's couch, with therapy, including a stark talk about what it actually means to be a woman, rather than his sexualised view of a woman.

Not be given civil rights. Not have his disassociation catered to. And not let that envy anywhere near women, particularly when they're vulnerable.

I wonder if dispelling his idealised/sexualised view of women would help to alleviate the envy.

Logically it should.

Although, when women do point out to transwomen quite what it means to actually be a woman, they get very angry and seem to view female oppression as yet something else women have been 'given', effortlessly. Like it's a competition.

DamnDeDoubtanceIsSpartacus Sat 19-Aug-17 11:45:54

Classic agp, he is viewing girls as things, like a costume. It is all about the sexist stereotype, they don't really want to be women. they don't want periods, or the risk of pregnancy. they don't want to care for elderly relatives or do all the low paid/free caring roles. They want to be a pornified version of a girl. They should receive help to accept themselves and move forward with their life, instead they are given cross sex hormones and their delusions are reinforced.

OlennasWimple Sat 19-Aug-17 15:22:11

At least the posters on this thread acknowledge that they had internalised homophobia which made it impossible for them to consider that they were really gay men all along

ButtHoleinOne Sat 19-Aug-17 18:04:54

How Nice it is to be expected to be pretty all the time? hmm

Datun Sun 20-Aug-17 07:54:32

A part of AGP, does affect your choice of partner, though.

From what Blanchard said, a man can be technically straight, but the sexual yearning to be a woman can extend to wanting to have sex as woman, with a man.

And I don't think it's any surprise, that porn addiction plays a role. Being in a constantly high state of sexual tension and being exposed to all variations of pornography, can loosen previously held boundaries.

MightyMikey Sun 20-Aug-17 10:32:57

Crossdressers Discussing their AGP
Here is a thread where men discuss if they're bi-sexual, most of them are the very definition of Blanchard's AGP theory. How TRAs have the nerve to say that AGP doesn't exist, when they must know that they follow the pattern. I believe in some ways Trans Women is a sexuality in itself.
These men aren't attracted to another human partner, they are attracted to themselves and their partner is a "prop" or "thing" to be used for their exclusive pleasure (similar to how you would interact and have emotions to your vibrator 😚). Therefore gender of their partner is only important in regards to how that gender bolsters the Trans Womans' sexual fantasy of themselves as women.
The fantasy being men treating the Trans as a pretty and submissive woman, or lesbians treating the Trans Woman as another lesbian.

coleridge Sun 20-Aug-17 14:22:38

I'm 6'0" and have been since I was about 13 (I'm female). I haven't felt cute and short since I was about 6. Do I get to join this person in their moanfest? Down with cute privilege!

Terfing Sun 20-Aug-17 14:44:01

I can only hope that a lot of those Reddit posters are trolls. They need serious help if not. sad

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