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A snappy wee poem for today

(41 Posts)
MoaningYoniAgain Mon 07-Aug-17 16:04:05

Via everywhere on fb, by Rachel Irischild. Interesting stuff eh.

"he tells her" (after Wendy Cope)

He tells her he's a woman too
He has a ladybrain
He tells her his identity
and hers; they are the same
He tells her not to talk about
her body; it's not fair
her body is her privilege
his own, a cross to bear

He tells her that she cannot talk
Or otherwise allude
to what her female body does
It's nasty to exclude
He says respect diversity
except he would prefer
that she not point out all the ways
that he's diverse from her

He tells her that biology
does not impact her life
she should still bear his children
but she must call him 'wife'
He says that words must all evolve
She must learn to make do
And now that woman is his word
He's taking 'female' too

He tells her that a woman is
whatever he decides
He will not put it into words
She must not ask, he chides
He tells her he is more oppressed
Than she has ever been
He says she must agree with him
or else she's being mean

She searches for the words she needs
To talk about herself
The billions who exist like her
their lives, their rights, their health
Whatever word she chooses now
He finds a way to spin it
The conversation carries on

But she's no longer in it

JenNtonic Mon 07-Aug-17 16:19:35

That's fabulous grinstar xx

TheCountessofFitzdotterel Mon 07-Aug-17 21:03:35

Spot on.

Miffer Mon 07-Aug-17 21:07:09

Wow, that's amazing.

dudsville Mon 07-Aug-17 21:16:17

Wonderful. Thanks for sharing.

Thelilywhite Mon 07-Aug-17 21:41:41

Thats geniusmoaning

kooshbin Mon 07-Aug-17 22:29:53

I got chills reading that. It says it all, doesn't it?

Thanks for posting it, Moaning.

DrummerWoman Mon 07-Aug-17 22:31:23

I saw that today too. Love the original version too. Always worth posting a poem!!

DamnSummerCold Tue 08-Aug-17 01:40:33

Wow!!

Thank you

Mum2OneTeen Tue 08-Aug-17 02:13:58

Tears sad

TheEmperorIsNaked Tue 08-Aug-17 03:07:34

Brilliant!

MoaningYoniAgain Fri 15-Sep-17 21:40:32

There's a new one now

"fuck some terfs up"

oh, dear, what can the matter be?
there's a debate in the community library
it's run by women, although they've invited me
asked me to offer my views
they want to discuss the new laws on equality
women and girls and transgender identity
but if I go they will mention biology
let's all stay home and refuse

oh, dear, despite our pullout they all
want to continue with talking about it all
how can they talk by themselves now without us all
why won't these women submit
we'll lobby and pressure and bully the venue
and make sure that free speech is not on their menu
'cause if you don't cancel it for us, well then you
are seen as transphobic as shit

oh dear, we thought we'd shut it down
turns out the meeting is going ahead in town
where's the new venue, lets have a big ringaround
let's go and fuck up some terfs
and when I assault them I'll say they incited me
say they're excluding me, though they invited me
I get to punch them if I feel they slighted me
grind their heads into the earth

oh, dear, someone is filming me
that puts a kink in my big plan for battery
that, and the fact that my clothes are unique to me
but I have got a new plan
I'll pull up my hoody behind all the placards an'
run out and hit her and cause a big fracas then
grab all the cameras and smash 'em to knacker 'em
though she looks just like my nan

oh dear, I just couldn't grab it
my girlfriend will help me, she'll manage to nab it
my mate's fist is aimed at her face like he'll jab it
this granny she won't stand a chance
she's stolen the camera but right from the get go
the granny has grabbed her and seems quite upset so
my girlfriend has smashed it but granny won't let go
it looks like they're doing a dance

oh dear, what can my plan now be
she was supposed to just stop and submit to me
let me assault her and damage her property
she's not supposed to resist
so enter stage left and I'm sprinting at granny
I'm punching her face with my best double whammy
and I'll get away with it cause I'm a <proposed protected category under new gender legislation>
I'll claim she says I don't exist

oh dear, I legged it successfully
left all my mates chanting "kill all the terfs" for me
they're going to stalk them right up to their destiny
make all those bitches afraid
and though there is video showing I hit her
I'm confident that in a trial by twitter
I'll come out innocent; she'll come out bitter
that's how this game is now played

~Irischild

ladyballs Fri 15-Sep-17 21:49:05

Brilliant

AssignedPerfectAtBirth Fri 15-Sep-17 22:00:36

Applauuuuuuuuuse!!!!!!

AdalindSchade Fri 15-Sep-17 22:02:45

Brava

MoaningYoniAgain Sat 16-Sep-17 14:52:53

Topical bump in honour of the Times and Grauniad both publishing some common sense today star

whoputthecatout Sat 16-Sep-17 15:36:17

Yes. The message is starting to get through.

Datun Sat 16-Sep-17 16:02:03

I've only just realised that the poem is to the tune of oh dear what can the matter be, three old ladies locked in a lavatory.

Even more brilliant now, if that's possible.

Badders08 Sat 16-Sep-17 16:10:30

Fabulous!

Elendon Sat 16-Sep-17 18:05:22

I've bookmarked this page. Those poems are brilliantly witty!

Thank you for sharing.

Thelilywhite Sat 16-Sep-17 18:09:23

Great! Such creative talented women here

MoaningYoniAgain Wed 04-Oct-17 16:45:46

A topical update

a college of women's seclusion
addressing their female exclusion
from ivory towers
asserted their powers
to fully adopt a delusion

admission criteria were changed
definitions rearranged
and now if you're really
quite womanly feely
you're in - which is frankly deranged

despite women's feminist gains
one idea still persists and constrains
what defines female?
answers by email
to the college for all ladybrains

~Irischild

offer your thoughts to President Dame Barbara Stocking on what it means to be female, or the need for female only spaces in education, to:
president@murrayedwards.cam.ac.uk.

MoaningYoniAgain Wed 04-Oct-17 16:46:36

@Datun

KanyeWesticle Wed 04-Oct-17 16:50:30

Thank you for this window of sanity!

Datun Wed 04-Oct-17 17:03:52

MoaningYoniAgain

Fantastic. The way she writes is extraordinarily appealing.

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