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I don't think I'm being unreasonable.

(21 Posts)
BabyLedWhining Sat 03-Jun-17 21:22:09

If you, your parents, or your cultural community have strong feelings about the hymen, you should not use the Mooncup at this stage in your life (you can read more about the Mooncup and the hymen here).

http://www.mooncup.co.uk/using-mooncup/can-i-use-the-mooncup-if-ive-just-started-my-periods/

So, I've got a few issues with this. Firstly they're peddling this whole thing of hymens staying in tact but secondly... should they be telling girls they need to listen to their parents or "cultural community" regarding their vaginas?? Yes, some girls may be influenced by this and if so the phrase should be "if you have strong feelings" right? This moves beyond being informed by something to saying you should listen to someone else about your vagina.

Terfing Sat 03-Jun-17 21:30:06

Yes, it's clumsy. They should leave the choice firmly with the wearer, not her community.

ALittleBitOfButter Sat 03-Jun-17 21:33:12

I think there's a debate to be had about whether a girl's comfort is worth less than a man's right to be the first to penetrate a woman's vagina. This is all about male satisfaction and triumph at the concept of virginity. Ugh.

ALittleBitOfButter Sat 03-Jun-17 21:43:33

Also a mooncup has the potential to transform girls' mobility in places with poverty and poor sanitation. But not if it takes away a man's satisfaction...

VestalVirgin Sat 03-Jun-17 21:51:53

Ugh, can they not just write there that the hymen might be damaged by a mooncup/inserting a mooncup might be difficult depending on what kind of hymen you have, and let girls decide for themselves?

I mean, yes, it might be very dangerous for girls in so strongly misogynist societies that care about hymens so much to use a mooncup secretly. But surely, they can decide for themselves how big the risk is and whether it is worth it.

Trills Sat 03-Jun-17 22:06:59

Ugh.

They could use the extra space gained by removing your parents, or your cultural community to add you should read up on why virginity is a social construct.

LassWiTheDelicateAir Sun 04-Jun-17 01:41:09

I hate the name "mooncup". It is nauseatingly twee. I don't actually understand what it has to do with the possibility of rupturing a hymen.

AssassinatedBeauty Sun 04-Jun-17 01:58:38

Presumably a menstrual cup could rupture the hymen when you insert it? That's the issue that they're addressing in the blog, I think.

Perhaps you'd prefer a DivaCup, or a TulipCup, or maybe a FemmyCycle cup as less twee names?

LassWiTheDelicateAir Sun 04-Jun-17 02:05:20

Oh I'm past needing anything but if I were not I certainly wouldn't be buying a "moon cup". The alternatives you suggest are just as bad.

Childrenofthestones Sun 04-Jun-17 08:53:36

I think they a dancing around the fact of the uber patriarchal society some of these girls live in where accidentally losing their hymen could have dire consequences. Not all societies and communities are as liberal as ours. At least it is recognising this fact and giving them information as opposed to just selling the product and letting the girls face the possible results. In an ideal world they wouldn't have to tell them but in the real world sadly they do.

VestalVirgin Sun 04-Jun-17 10:52:13

I agree, Children, but they could just state the anatomical facts, which those girls probably haven't been told.

If someone wants to risk the wrath of her parents and community because the benefit of the mooncup hugely outweights the disadvantages, then this is her decision.

Telling girls that they "should" submit to oppression is just patronising.

(Also, why are they talking of "young people"? Am I paranoid by now, or are they also bowing to the transnonsense? confused I mean, yes, young women are also people, but it seems oddly general)

Moussemoose Sun 04-Jun-17 11:01:23

One of the 'conversations' I have every year with students from the Middle East (also Pakistan and Afghanistan) is about the concept of virginity. There is no word and no understanding of male virginity, only women are classed as vigins.

The boys are heavily invested in female virginity! The girls role their eyes and indicate they know ways to get around the whole blood/ hymen issue.

I tell them men who want women to be virgins are probably really,really bad in bed and don't want the comparison. The girls laugh.

DJBaggySmalls Sun 04-Jun-17 11:23:03

Thats as bad as claiming Tampax takes your virginity.
A hymen can be stretched or torn by sports including horse riding. In some Nordic countries its normal for your doctor to cut it. they consider it abnormal to expect you to have to suffer a torn hymen the first time you have sex.

M0stlyBowlingHedgehog Sun 04-Jun-17 11:38:21

Trills - "They could use the extra space gained by removing your parents, or your cultural community to add you should read up on why virginity is a social construct."

Actually, they do, in fairness - though you have to follow a couple of links to get there:

Hymen or vaginal corona? - in which they explain the anatomy, and point out that virginity is better thought of as a cultural concept than a physiological phenomenon.

I think they should probably have a link directly to this on the first page with a sentence on the first page clearly stating this, though.

LassWiTheDelicateAir Sun 04-Jun-17 11:38:55

Two sensible articles about the hymen.

www.psychologytoday.com/blog/you-it/200806/new-york-times-is-wrong-about-hymens-they-are-not-alone

www.ourbodiesourselves.org/health-info/what-exactly-is-a-hymen/

And one not so sensible

www.netdoctor.co.uk/conditions/sexual-health/a2289/hymen-problems/

Trills Sun 04-Jun-17 11:57:21

Thanks M0stlyBowlingHedgehog that's reassuring smile

Childrenofthestones Sun 04-Jun-17 12:24:44

Vestal
(Also, why are they talking of "young people"? Am I paranoid by now, or are they also bowing to the transnonsense? I mean, yes, young women are also people, but it seems oddly general)

My guess is that young girls are far more likely to have a hymen to worry about as opposed to older married women.

ChocChocPorridge Sun 04-Jun-17 12:25:04

Of course, the operation doesn't really restore your virginity, and legally you remain non-virgin. Also, you should remember that to have this operation is to practise a deception on your new husband – and perhaps on his family too. If they ever found out, you would technically be vulnerable to legal action.

Sorry what? NetDoctor is clearly ridiculous...

ChocChocPorridge Sun 04-Jun-17 12:26:41

By Dr David Delvin

Dear Lord - it alleges it was written by a Doctor! I think I need to brush off my complaints keyboard!

Trills Sun 04-Jun-17 12:50:29

legally you remain non-virgin
What legal system recognises virginity as a real thing?

LassWiTheDelicateAir Sun 04-Jun-17 13:38:50

Dr. David Delvin is a well known writer. His article is rubbish compared to the other 2 I linked. The "legal" stuff is claptrap.

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