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Stripper complains about "female misogyny" aka women being stingy tippers

(20 Posts)
QuentinSummers Mon 17-Apr-17 15:54:20

I read this article to try to get a better understanding about "whorephobia" and what specifically feminists do that sex workers don't like.
As usual I don't understand 90% of what the author is trying to say but it appears to be complaining about women not tipping enough at strip clubs and that "good" feminism is about paying sex workers confused

In sum, I hope you examine your priorities; feminism is not about what you wear, but about where your money goes. Support women at work. Support bodily autonomy. Keep your pink knitted symbols of female solidarity.

I'm so confused. Link in next post

QuentinSummers Mon 17-Apr-17 15:54:47

www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/im-a-sex-worker-who-is-sick-of-female-misogyny_us_58ee4bb3e4b0cb574bb4bc5e

GuardianLions Mon 17-Apr-17 16:10:00

I have a feeling the pink-hatted woman wasn't there for the stripping - maybe observing for research, or to intimdate male punters who feel invisible. The author has a very bleak, transactional view of human relationships and that''s seems to be filtering her observations. She clearly was unnerved by her presence perhaps even causing doubts about how happy she is with her own 'choices enough to write a whole article about it.

DJBaggySmalls Mon 17-Apr-17 16:13:50

She seemed angrier about the woman being there than the men. I dont believe all the punters are required to tip.

LassWiTheDelicateAir Mon 17-Apr-17 16:22:03

The comments make more sense than the article.

If being a sex worker makes you feel powerful and strong then fine. I don't think it's helping us. That's my belief and like you I'm entitled to it

I agree with this one ^^

Except that your opinion of sex work makes it harder for her to be sex worker, while her opinion does not make it harder for you not to be one. The two opinions are not equal

^^This one misses the point- there is no moral or ethical reason why I should do anything to facilitate someone being a "sex worker".

The comments below were made by a man- they are harsh but true.

Women have been involved in sex work since the dawn of civilization. It's not nearly as revolutionary as you make it seem. Want to do something really courageous or radically feminist? Try running for political office (where women are still horribly underrepresented) or become a CEO or study in a STEM field. Ya know, something that will actually push boundaries and provide role models to the young women that come after you. But don't take off your clothes and pretend like you're being anything other than a cliche

Did I ever say I knew more about sex work then a sex worker?? No. My point was to say that sex workers need to stop pretending like it's some new frontier of feminism that we're all supposed to care about. It's not. And this article wasn't just about allowing people to do whatever they want in regards to their bodies- it was sex work advocacy- which is something I wholely reject. We shouldn't be teaching anyone, regardless of gender, that this type of work is something to aspire to

patodp Mon 17-Apr-17 16:24:36

Well I had to roll my eyes when 2-3 paragraphs in she dished out the usual trope, claiming real feminism is about equality for all people and therefore feminism is failing if women don't support sex work and equality for all working class men etc. (Paraphrase).

She then goes on to compare whorephobia to misogyny.

Sorry, love. I disagree with most of what you've said.
The internalised misogyny comes from this stripper, not the female audience member.

RebelRogue Mon 17-Apr-17 16:30:31

I'll skip the random bs babble in the article and just say this...
It must be intimidating and unnerving to have a woman sit centre stage and stare at you for ages in complete silence,not tip etc. The hat was maybe a statement,maybe not. It could be coincidental but I doubt it. If it was a symbol of feminism,then the woman was basically saying I'm a feminist and I'm staring you down,maybe even judging the shit out of you. Not support,not solidarity,not help.

I know if someone came to watch at me at my job without saying a word and just sat there staring at me, I'd feel unnerved at the least. And I'm not naked and vulnerable doing a job that involves all kinds of abuse,judgement and people praying for my soul(envy).

LassWiTheDelicateAir Mon 17-Apr-17 16:34:06

It must be intimidating and unnerving to have a woman sit centre stage and stare at you for ages in complete silence,not tip etc.

Less intimidating than the men? Tipping makes it all right?

Her "job" is nothing more than electing to be stared at.

AssassinatedBeauty Mon 17-Apr-17 16:38:01

I agree. There must be plenty of men that sit and stare but don't tip. Every day. Why does she only care about whether this woman was judging her?

QuentinSummers Mon 17-Apr-17 16:43:04

I have a feeling the pink hatted woman wasn't there at all. Surely you'd get chucked out if you just sat staring at the strippers, not buying drinks or tipping?

WombOfOnesOwn Mon 17-Apr-17 17:06:24

Amazing how dedicated all these members of the "left" are to capitalist exchange taking over every human interaction.

patodp Mon 17-Apr-17 17:46:58

What makes you think this stripper is "on the left"?
confused

nightshifting Mon 17-Apr-17 18:06:52

Dishes up the usual tired "'sex work' is empowering" bs without a clue or understanding of actual feminist analysis of stripping or prostitution. Usual tired bs that feminists hate "sex workers" because we criticize industries that reduce women to nothing but sexualized commodities for men's consumption.

Odd that she seems angrier at feminists than the "sweating, swearing" men who treat her like a non-human piece of meat to be bought and sold. I agree with GuardianLions assessment.

LassWiTheDelicateAir Mon 17-Apr-17 19:32:02

With a rising oligarchy on our hands, it is time that women and minorities and working class people begin supporting each other

I'm assuming from this she is not politically on the left ; or would claim to be.

I find her co-opting of "working class people" , if by that she means people who actually work in low paid and / or difficult jobs, in to her "cause" offensive.

RufusTheRenegadeReindeer Mon 17-Apr-17 19:48:58

Agree with lass and assassinated

I thought the point of stripping was that men stared at you

And i refuse to believe that every man that stares tips either

LassWiTheDelicateAir Mon 17-Apr-17 19:56:47

Sorry, I meant to say I'm assuming from this she is politically on the left ; or would claim to be

DeleteOrDecay Mon 17-Apr-17 19:57:14

I agree. There must be plenty of men that sit and stare but don't tip. Every day. Why does she only care about whether this woman was judging her?

This was my first thought too.

VestalVirgin Tue 18-Apr-17 13:55:38

I agree. There must be plenty of men that sit and stare but don't tip. Every day. Why does she only care about whether this woman was judging her?

I will have to guess:
Because a part of her did not see the men who treated her like a piece of meat as human. Because that part of her was aware that she is harming all women by selling herself like this, and was ashamed and expecting to be judged. (Otherwise, why did she feel judged? The woman was most likely there to judge the men.)

All this panic about "whorephobia" is, I think, symptomatic of pimps protecting their interests, and prostituted women defending something they, deep down, know is wrong and harmful.

Women talk about women who clean toilets for a living much the same as they do about prostitutes; with pity, with relief that they are not reduce to this, with surprise that anyone would voluntarily do this.
And yet, women who clean toilets do not complain about "cleanerphobia" or anything the like. There recently was a thread by a woman who complained about people talking like cleaning toilets was anything like prostitution (because she was proud of her job cleaning toilets), but that's about it.

Women who do normal jobs that are dirty, disgusting, or dangerous, do not feel a need to justify themselves. They also usually don't feel a need to emphasize that it is their own choosy choice to work in such a job. Some even openly admit that it is not their dream job.

I think, for the actual prostitutes (not pimps) who defend prostitution, it is a way of protecting their own, very fragile, illusions.

People who are at peace with themselves don't lash out angrily when they are criticised for something they consider a perfectly okay thing to do. They don't walk around permanently feeling judged for it.

LassWiTheDelicateAir Tue 18-Apr-17 17:57:22

Women talk about women who clean toilets for a living much the same as they do about prostitutes; with pity, with relief that they are not reduce to this, with surprise that anyone would voluntarily do this

Do they? Or I mean do we?

I don't think we do- the only time I see this is when the happy hooker brigade and their apologists start banging on about the "sex industry" being better than [insert whatever job they wish to denigrate as being worse than being a whore]

And yes I did deliberately use the offensive word "whore". I think it is hugely offensive to the cleaners and "burger flippers" and shelf- stackers , who do useful and necessary jobs , which harm no-one, for such comparisons to be made.

VestalVirgin Tue 18-Apr-17 18:57:02

Do they? Or I mean do we?

Not very often. You are right that the happy hooker brigade bring up the topic most often.
But occasionally, children will be told that they'll have to flip burgers for a living if they don't work hard at school.

Most people do want higher education for their children, that's an increasing trend. So people in unskilled low-wage jobs would have just as much reason to complain about being "stigmatized" as "sex-workers". But I haven't heard that happen, ever.

And ... how often do people - average people - talk about whores, really? We are told that it is "social stigma" that makes punters attack whores, but when you look closely, punters are the only group of people who talk badly about prostituted women, happy hookers and trafficked rape victims alike, on a regular basis.

I am not a conservative woman, but I highly doubt that whores are a common conversation topic among conservative women, or conservative men who are not punters.

Libfems talk about prostitution being a choosy choice, which allegedly is a good thing.

The only other group who talks about prostitution (and the only one that is accused of "whorephobia") are radical feminists.

So, if we are to believe this "whorephobia" theory, punters hear radical feminists talk about how they want to abolish prostitution, somehow conclude that they must hate prostituted women, and ... love the radical feminists so much that they obediently go and kill some prostituted women to do the radical feminists a favour?

It is just utterly illogical.

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