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Good Housekeeping - perfect example of sexism leading to trans...

(45 Posts)
BBCNewsRave Mon 17-Apr-17 13:02:27

Link. Shared by friend on fb.

As early as 18 months old, Kimberly Shappley's son started showing signs he identified as female. Now, the Christian mom shares how she learned to embrace Kai's transition — for her child's happiness and safety.
I was raised as a devout, conservative Christian with strong Republican values in the South.

... at 18 months old, Kai began exhibiting very strong female characteristics. From the moment my child was born, everything about Kai was geared toward femininity. She would pull T-shirts down around her waist to make them into skirts. She would tie long-sleeved shirts around her head and pretend like it was long hair. I tried so hard to force her into wearing clothes with camouflage and superhero patterns, and I even gave her severe, flat-top haircuts. Kai has three other siblings who are boys, so it was also a very testosterone-filled family environment, which I thought might help. Everything was fishing and spitting and boy stuff.
As I continued to watch my child developing, my friend started pointing out red flags that there was something very real going on. She told me that Kai being transgender may be something I needed to consider. (Friend is a child psychologist FGS!)
By the time Kai was 3 1/2 years old, I couldn't ignore it anymore.
There were spankings and yelling matches and endless prayers. I even contacted the daycare Kai attended and asked them to put away every single "girl" toy.
I started reaching out to more professionals, including a child psychiatrist who asked me, "If you and Kai were on a deserted island, would you let her wear girls' clothes?'" I said, "Probably." The psychiatrist told me it wasn't God I had a problem with, but what other people would think of my child and me. Yes, because gendered clothes are made up bollox! Ditto gender roles! Massive lack of critical thinking <steam coming out of ears>
With all of that, when Kai turned 4, I finally let her transition.

GuardianLions Mon 17-Apr-17 13:14:55

I thought this was often the case - very right-wing, sexist families transing their kids...
I just think - ah cute kid just having fun and mucking about. Poor thing sad

QuentinSummers Mon 17-Apr-17 13:17:47

It's so weird. I wouldn't look twice at my boys pretending a tshirt was long hair. It's just dressing up play. I really don't understand what goes through these people's head with an 18 month old. Why would you spank them for playing? sad

Thisisouting Mon 17-Apr-17 13:20:08

This makes me so sad for the kids and angry at the professionals prompting this bullshit angry

Thisisouting Mon 17-Apr-17 13:22:13

*promoting not prompting

dementedma Mon 17-Apr-17 13:28:43

what a fucking fruitcake!

SymbollocksInteractionism Mon 17-Apr-17 13:37:28

When my DS was little he used to pretend to breastfeed his baby doll, that must mean he wants to be female!! 😵

RogueBiscuit Mon 17-Apr-17 14:47:39

I have surrounded my family with transgender men and women who are leaders in the community. They encourage Kai to be proud of who she is and where she comes from

I bet they do.

Floggingmolly Mon 17-Apr-17 14:55:14

She had to do it for her child's happiness and safety, you see. Quite what the risk of actually acknowledging her boy was a boy was, we're not told.
And I can't for the life of me imagine hmm
Surrounding the family with transgender men and women shock

glenthebattleostrich Mon 17-Apr-17 14:59:38

That family should have the child removed from their care. It's abuse, pure and simple.

FishInAWetSuitAndFlippers Mon 17-Apr-17 15:09:16

This story isn't unusual at all these days, go and sign up to mermaids and you will see countless confused parents looking for direction and being persuaded, even emotionally blackmailed (imo) into transing their child.

Floggingmolly Mon 17-Apr-17 15:17:35

But... confused. Are people dimmer than they used to be? Why would you look to what is effectively a cult for direction? Especially for a non problem - that woman in the article was digging really deep to find a problem.
She sounds quite disturbed; bringing your three year old to a psychiatrist because they want long hair?
But it's the kids life that'll be fucked up because of her issues.

MrsDustyBusty Mon 17-Apr-17 15:21:35

She slapped her child to try to get it to accept gender norms? She should have the poor little thing taken from her, she's clearly unbalanced.

FishInAWetSuitAndFlippers Mon 17-Apr-17 15:32:48

Mermaids is recommended as the go to place for support by everyone, doctors, schools, gender clinics, counsellors... You name it.

I can see how this could happen. A child psychologist friend points something out, mum googles it and then gets directed to sites like mermaids and encouraged into thinking this is best for her child.

It's happening more and more to younger and younger children.

HopelesslydevotedtoGu Mon 17-Apr-17 15:42:25

I can't believe the article has zero analysis or questioning of the mom's account.

Spanking? Really?
Trying to dissuade a toddler from doing something by shouting, punishments etc - what a way to make them dig their heels in.

It strikes me that this family see being trans - a medical condition - as being preferable to being an effeminate man, which they may associate with being weak or homosexual.

Sad for the child.

patodp Mon 17-Apr-17 15:43:26

My son is two.
He grabs my necklace off me and wants to wear it. I tell him off because it might break not because it's "for girls"

He steals my hair clips and tries them on.
He wants to help me put my makeup on. I'll even brush some powder onto his face for fun. 2 yo's experiment it's what they do.

He tries on my ballet shoes. He tries on his dad's shoes. He squirts my perfume all on him. He tries daddy's aftershave. He gets told off because if these things get in his eye it'll hurt a lot not because perfume is "for girls".

He does lots of things that I do because that's what children do. They learn through imitation and don't care if they imitate mummy or daddy.

This person OP is terrifyingly unhinged.

FrancisCrawford Mon 17-Apr-17 15:47:45

That is heartbreaking

Funnyonion17 Mon 17-Apr-17 15:49:52

My god that mother is fucking crazy. Forced her child to be trans basically, so what if he wanted to play with 'girls' toys or stretched his t-shirt. This is a classic example of sexist parents confusing their child and quite frankly deluding themselves. Makes me so angry.

Cooroo Mon 17-Apr-17 15:53:32

Spanking and praying?? Poor little boy.

CaoNiMartacus Mon 17-Apr-17 16:05:07

I can't quite get my head around the idea that being a homosexual is considered a worse fate than being pumped with hormones and carved up by surgeons.

If my parents had seen "transition" as the natural conclusion to my preferences for "male" clothes and games as a child, I'd probably have a penis made out of my arm skin by now, instead of being a (relatively!) happy and sorted lesbian.


RogueBiscuit Mon 17-Apr-17 16:25:35

I Had 4 Boys — Until One of Them Told Me She Was Really a Girl

It's not lost on me that she had 4 boys.

MrsKCastle Mon 17-Apr-17 16:39:53

But I knew I had to choose to accept my daughter exactly the way God created her

That's exactly what she didn't do though. If the child had been allowed to develop their own interests, their own style from the beginning, truly accepted for who they were, an awful lot of heartache could have been saved. The child could have avoided a life time of medication.

WombOfOnesOwn Mon 17-Apr-17 17:11:51

For devoted, evangelical Christians, the important part is that the patriarchal family structure is preserved. It represents less of a threat to the social order to have a "woman" with male body parts (which are, of course, hidden beneath clothes or even surgically altered) than it is to have a man who won't play the "male role" of dominance and leadership. You'll note that when these families try to encourage "boy things" for their effeminate sons, they don't encourage "nerdy boy" pursuits. It's all military and sports, buzz cuts and baseballs -- not dinosaurs and space, for instance.

These families would honestly probably be more disappointed to have a merely nerdy, weak son, because there's no way to "transition" that kid into a model human being that slots neatly into a patriarchal culture.

DeleteOrDecay Mon 17-Apr-17 17:14:59

How ridiculous. My youngest dd is almost 2 and loves playing with cars. It would never occur to me that she is trans or might need 'transitioning' when she's older.

Sounds like she has her own agenda for wanting to transition her son. Bonkers that this sort of thing is allowed to happen.

Aftershock15 Mon 17-Apr-17 17:19:49

There was a clip on the BBC website yesterday about the first transgender person to take a ballet exam. The boy had wanted to take ballet when younger but had been told by his mother it was for girls, so did manly sports and racing driving. Then as an adult had transitioned and taken up ballet. All I could think of was why wasn't he just allowed to take ballet as a boy. Lots of boys do ballet.

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