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That's harassment

(18 Posts)
Mandatorymongoose Sun 16-Apr-17 02:33:45

I've been watching the # that's harassment videos, (link) they're a series of short films showing women being sexually harassed in every day situations. Directed by Sigal Avin and produced by David Schwimmer.

They were depressing to watch, mostly because of how much reality they reflect but I thought they were quite interesting and I would share them.

I do find it a bit of a shame that we've ended up with a man telling people about how women are sexually harassed but it probably just shows how little women's voices are heard. (I'm going to give most of the credit to Sigal Avin anyway)

nocoolnamesleft Sun 16-Apr-17 03:35:50

There was a discussion on this on woman's hour. Which at one point deteriorated into a man mansplaining what mansplaining was, and not even getting it quite right...

GuardianLions Mon 17-Apr-17 19:30:05

Just started watching - they look good so far..

faithinthesound Tue 18-Apr-17 06:14:41

The thing that scares me is that I'm sitting here thinking "when are these women going to fight back? Shame him?" Then I realize that they're not. They won't. because those men are all in a position of power over them and therefore they feel like they have to sit/stand there and take it.

Because that's what our society produces: men who think they can do what they like, and women who know they have to put up and shut up, lest the consequences be even worse.

The Gift of Fear talks about that whole, women are conditioned to be polite and don't like to make a fuss because the societal consequences are perceived to be to negative. I might go back and read that again. I'm a bit shaky after having watched those.

Good, important videos, but scary, so scary that they needed to be made at all.

SpringLake Tue 18-Apr-17 06:27:26

Is there a similar set of videos to show how she could have dealt with it - and the reality of the consequences?

KateDaniels2 Tue 18-Apr-17 06:30:44

The link you posted goes to facebook where the director is named as SA. There is little reference to DS.

Tbh I dont see how its disappointing that a man is involved. Or that he is under the impression it takes a man to tell us what we suffer.

Personally i feel if sexual harrasment is going to stop, everyone needs to be on board. Men and women. If this is something he feels passionate about or is a project that was brought ro him and he felr was important, why shouldnt he be involved?

The videos are great. They are very well done and really convey the uncomfortableness and the helplessness we can often feel.

deydododatdodontdeydo Tue 18-Apr-17 06:48:52

Are men more likely to listen to a man telling them this?
Hmm, some maybe. Some will never listen.
We're always saying "men should do more". Here's a man (DS) doing more, and we're disappointed it's a man doing it, not a woman?
Agree with KateDaniels2, the more people onboard the better.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross Tue 18-Apr-17 07:33:23

Those videos are really powerful. Why does it matter that there's a man working on them? Surely it's important to have everyone's voice involved - the more people that speak up to raise awareness, the better. I find it really irritating that this is somehow devalued because men are involved. You have male actors in the shorts - would it be better without them too? Or is it possible to accept that there are some men to whom these issues matter and who want to contribute to the effort to address them?

The Photographer was grim - the moment the camera panned round to show so many people watching that happening and no-one speaking up was horrific.

highinthesky Tue 18-Apr-17 07:39:56

Those not on FB can access the videos here:

Datun Tue 18-Apr-17 08:05:21


"In the course of these stories and this process, I was repeatedly putting myself in the mind-set of what it must be like to be a woman in the world today."

And there you have it. Men have to consciously use their imagination. To deliberately think. Otherwise it doesn't cross their minds. Even when they are told. Even when they know the stats. Even when they accept it.

Very powerful and frightening vids.

faithinthesound Tue 18-Apr-17 10:04:43

And there you have it. Men have to consciously use their imagination. To deliberately think. Otherwise it doesn't cross their minds.

So when it does cross their minds, that's a victory, however small. One small step for empathy, one giant leap for mankind?

It's hard to bring down oppressive regimes from the outside - there's no access to the internal structures from the outside. At some point, you need someone on the inside - to dismantle the patriarchy, at some point, we're going to need to get some men on board.

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Tue 18-Apr-17 10:59:19

Of course a man is going to have to use his imagination to have some idea of how harassment works and how it feels. I don't think it's helpful to criticise him for trying to do that. Surely, the whole point is to get men to understand because that is the only way things are going to change, by the people who do these things getting the message and stopping. If that isn't the point, then what is? Us just talking about it and nothing ever changing?

Datun Tue 18-Apr-17 11:18:22


I wasn't criticising him. I think what he has done is brilliant. Daniel Craig did something similar.

I also completely agree that men do need to get involved.

I just find it depressing when I realise, again, the reasons for the minimisation of sexual harassment.

Women live it. When a man takes the trouble to understand, I certainly see it as a step forward.

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Tue 18-Apr-17 13:52:49

Sorry for misunderstanding flowers
I agree it is a step forward to have men trying to understand, and actually listening. It is sad that some/a lot of men will only take it seriously if other men explain it to them, but, hopefully, we will reach a tipping point when most men do get it and the ones who refuse to are seen as the odd ones out.

PreemptiveSalvageEngineer Wed 19-Apr-17 19:12:37

Been lurking on this fred, but finally watched the vids. Gaahh! I think i vommed in my mouth a little. It was so true to life. The boss one was a bit triggery. tbusad

AllllGooone Wed 19-Apr-17 19:24:07

God that was chilling to watch. So many of us have been put in these situations Countless times.

I used to work at a doctors surgery and can actually picture a doctor I worked with being who they based the character on.

Revolting comments from coworkers during my first pregnancy. ( I was young sad) including one reading a pregnancy magazin and saying "are your tots leaking? Has your discharge increased" while other men in the staff room laughed at me.

AltheaThoon Thu 20-Apr-17 20:21:02

The Dr one got to me. It's never happened to me but i can see how easily it would happen and how difficult it would be to say anything. Then that feeling of 'it made me uncomfortable and i didn't like it,but am i just being oversensitive?', and therefore not telling anyone.

I think the films are all very true to life.

Mandatorymongoose Fri 21-Apr-17 18:56:30

I don't have any objections to a man / men being involved in this or any project really but the media that I'd seen around it all referenced "David Schwimmer's campaign / videos" which I thought was a bit of a shame given it wasn't just him. I did wonder if it there was an element of having a male celebrity fronting it that somehow gave it more credibility than if a female had been credited. Made it less easy to dismiss as feminist propaganda.

The accuracy of the videos does make them hard to watch.

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