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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

I've just been lectured at by a trans woman for painting my daughter's room pink

147 replies

Funnyonion17 · 03/04/2017 13:33

Just that. That's the 3rd time during my pregnancy I've been ranted at about gender and I've seriously had enough. Apparently by painting her room pink I'm assuming she's going to be a girl (she's deffo a girl unless the scan was wrong but hey ho). According to the person ranting at me it's irresponsible to paint the room pink and i should base it on the babies personality instead. She's 33 weeks in my womb, she has no personality! I just wanted a pretty space to store her clothes etc. Also after my scan i was ranted at over on the baby boards, apparently her sex is a girl her gender in unknown. I'm sick to death now of being made to feel I'm irresponsible for acknowledging my unborn child as a girl. It's madness. Sorry if my post is a bit disjointed, i have a bad case of sleep deprivation today.

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OddBoots · 03/04/2017 13:35

How do you know this person?

DJBaggySmalls · 03/04/2017 13:35

The trans movement keeps demonstrating that they really don't know anything about children or child development, so don't sweat it.

AssassinatedBeauty · 03/04/2017 13:35

Who's ranted at you? A friend?

IAmTheWorwax · 03/04/2017 13:36

Can you not just ignore them?

Iwasjustabouttosaythat · 03/04/2017 13:36

YABU to paint her room pink.

SasBel · 03/04/2017 13:37

Probably jealous. Ignore, nod, smile, etc. Make a beautiful nursery and enjoy your little one when she arrives. Congratulations btw

IAmTheWorwax · 03/04/2017 13:38

WHats wrong with pink IWas? It's just a colour.

ItchyFoot · 03/04/2017 13:38

I hate this shit! There is nothing wrong with painting your child's room pink ffs! If for no other reason than that boys are also allowed to like pink. Next time she lectures you call her sexist and narrow minded.

Funnyonion17 · 03/04/2017 13:39

Sorry i should have been more clear. No a total stranger on a DIY group i follow on Facebook. After her pressing the issue for a bit i checked her profile out, it turns out she's transgender and quite evangelistic about it. I probably should have ignored her but it's the third time now I've had someone correct me and its starting to wear thin.

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Ecureuil · 03/04/2017 13:40

YABU to paint her room pink

Why? Pink is a colour like any other.

Allthebestnamesareused · 03/04/2017 13:40

Tell her you painted it pink so that it feels like she's in her own "womb"

user1483387154 · 03/04/2017 13:40

The only time painting a room pink would be wrong, would be if your child doesnt actually like the colour.
Your friend is silly.

Funnyonion17 · 03/04/2017 13:41

It's one wall that's pink iwas

But yea thanks for that, i wasn't aware it was wrong to paint a child's room pink?

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OvariesBeforeBrovaries · 03/04/2017 13:42

YANBU to paint it pink at all.

This is basically mansplaining transplaining, isn't it? Did they start their rant with "actually"? That's always a dead giveaway.

How do you base it on their personality? Until they're about six months old babies have as much personality as a potato. Paint the room pink, blue, yellow, white, whatever you want to paint it! The colour of a baby's nursery will not determine how it grows up.

AssassinatedBeauty · 03/04/2017 13:43

What was the third time you've been ranted at about gender?

Of course your baby is a girl, assuming the sonographer correctly identified the sex. Painting the room pink isn't acknowledging that though, it's just painting the room a colour that you like. Which is absolutely your prerogative and I wouldn't expect a friend or family member to tell you that you shouldn't, even if they're not keen on gender stereotypes themselves.

Pibplob · 03/04/2017 13:43

I'm sure once she is old enough to chose the colour of her room, then you will allow her to choose. So for now, if you want it pink - have it pink!! Chances are she will want it pink anyway! My daughter is 5 and wants everything pink at the moment. I'm sure she will change to another colour at some point tho.

TitaniasCloset · 03/04/2017 13:44

I hope this mad idiot doesn't have children of their own. They seem completely unable to put their trans issues to the side if anyone else's lives or problems, even an unborn baby in a pink room ffs.

AssassinatedBeauty · 03/04/2017 13:45

Ok, so total stranger. Just block them and ignore, their opinion is totally irrelevant and not worth getting wound up about.

steppemum · 03/04/2017 13:46

Congratulations on your lovely GIRL. Take all the chances you can to use pink and frills and enjoy it. Baby girls are luffley.

Don't think she is going to be worrying much about her gender while she is a baby!

(so are baby boys obviously )

Go back on and comment about how sexist and stereotypical it is to assume that only girls can have pink, as it is a colour option for all genders and both sexes)

gillybeanz · 03/04/2017 13:46

Pink used to be the colour you painted for a boy many years ago, it doesn't matter what colours you use.
My dd had a pink room for many years, then it was powder blue and soon it will be white.
Apart from when she was little and didn't have a voice or opinion it was pink because after 2 boys I was having some pink around the home.
She's not a bit girly like, lives in t shirts, jeans and hoodies and only wears the deeper pinks as dark haired.
They soon develop a personality and choose for themselves, until then it's up to you what you do.
Just ignore the idiot.

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 03/04/2017 13:48

I'd just block the dipstick and carry on. You don't need to argue about something that's none of their business. How dare people criticise your choices or try to interfere with your plans? It's not as if this person is even someone who is a personal friend, just some random on FB.

Funnyonion17 · 03/04/2017 13:48

The first two times i was ranted at for basically assuming she is a girl based on a scan. It was said in such a way that she will choose her own gender and i shouldnt make assumptions based on her female anatomy. The third time was today in regards to pink paint Assassin

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gillybeanz · 03/04/2017 13:49

This is quite good and interesting.
www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2014/10/pink-used-common-color-boys-blue-girls/

BigDeskBob · 03/04/2017 13:52

That's the good thing about paint, if her personality turns out to be green spots you can change the the wall.

Funnyonion17 · 03/04/2017 13:52

stepmum i did tell her that she was being sexist assuming pink is just a girl's colour.

Yea i turned comments off on the post in the end. You can't reason with unreasonable people hmm.

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