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Just when you thought it could get any more FUCKING MENTAL....

(84 Posts)
MercyMyJewels Thu 16-Mar-17 21:03:40

We are asked, do you ever get weirdly conscious of your labia?

medium.com/athena-talks/do-you-ever-get-weirdly-conscious-of-your-labia-893f8b680aeb#.mfywyybir

MercyMyJewels Thu 16-Mar-17 21:07:05

*'nt, obv

ChocChocPorridge Thu 16-Mar-17 21:14:45

well, I was sitting watching The Grand Tour just now, and had to adjust my jeans because they were pulling on my pubic hair..

and there was that time after I'd just had my second son, and my labia swelled up and got all lumpy (it was, thank god, temporary).... but otherwise, TBH, no, I can't say that I've ever been all that conscious of my labia. No more so than my middle toes or any other part of my anatomy.

As to boobs, well, not particularly either - although, again, once I leant forward to get a ban marie (however that is spelled) out of the oven, and managed to dip them in the hot water (moved pretty darn quick to resolve that situation and shed my t-shirt, I can tell you) - otherwise, again, not so much...

Mind you, I may not be typical - when pregnant I had a hell of a time remembering I had that too, I bumped my bump on door handles, tables, small children, and once I swept every item of cutlery of the side of someone else's table in a restaurant.

Thelilywhite Thu 16-Mar-17 21:17:25

chocchoc😄

Underbeneathsies Thu 16-Mar-17 21:18:36

You have just reminded me choc of just after giving birth my left labia were huge and the other side not so huge. I was seriously worried I'd have to roll the left side up like a cigar to fit in the maternity pants.

Luckily I had just had a baby so since then I have not had time to think about my lovely labia. I presume they're still there and have shrunk back to their normal size.

QuentinSummers Thu 16-Mar-17 21:23:44

Ugh ugh ugh. Seems like a rather ill disguised attempt to get off on talking about cunts. She starts talking about her sex life in the comments. Ugh.
Personally I don't find my females bits any more or less intrusive than the rest of me in day to day life. Weird concept.

PastysPrincess Thu 16-Mar-17 21:26:59

confused

ChocChocPorridge Thu 16-Mar-17 21:28:43

I tell you what, I thought I was pretty prepared, I'd been on mumsnet 3 years at the time since my first son - but I'd never heard of, or been warned that my bits might turn into something resembling.. I dunno - one of those kids squeezy toys where there's there's the rubber ball in a net that you squeeze and the ball pops out the net holes..

TBH, given the look on the midwife's face at DS2's 1 week checkup, I'm not sure she'd seen anything quite like it before either!

Datun Thu 16-Mar-17 21:29:48

It's an ugh from me too.

TheBatPig Thu 16-Mar-17 21:30:38

Sounds to me like the writer is aroused by it. Whereas I just think, fuck I knew I should have thrown these knickers, they're far too uncomfortable. Or, when am I going to be able to pull them out of my crotch unnoticed. Bras also often make me aware of my boobs..but only if they're too tight, itchy lace. So no. Unless I'm being annoyed I don't really notice them. They're just skin with flesh and stuff in.

CharlieSierra Thu 16-Mar-17 21:30:53

Nah, but then I don't tend to find out of nowhere I just feel so...female .....either, or keep my nails immaculately done in any shellac hue. What reminds me I'm female is things like men talking to my tits instead of my face, and that decades after the equal pay act I'm still paid less than men in similar roles.....oh and I did note the other day that when there was a serial rapist at large in Derby it was women that were advised to restrict their freedom, not men. Quite frankly the article made me sick.

TheBatPig Thu 16-Mar-17 21:37:31

I must have skimmed over the nails bit. But yeah...how is that relevant. I don't even know what shellac is I don't think. The writer is certainly reliant upon crappy stereotypes to signal her femininity.

CaroleService Thu 16-Mar-17 21:40:53

stereotripe

emwithme Thu 16-Mar-17 22:00:42

Well, there was The Week Before Christmas - but that was because of a Bartholin Cyst.

As for boobs, about three weeks ago I kept inadvertently punching myself in the right nipple. It kept being about an inch further forward than I thought it was (because pregnancy does that to you)

And right now, because I am having a fucking miscarriage and all I can feel is the fucking sanitary towel I am Very Aware that I am female and, honestly, the LAST thing on my mind is painting my nails.

Bambambini Thu 16-Mar-17 22:07:27

What you don't all sit staring at and playing with your boobs when watching telly or having a cuppa at the kitchen table? Just me then? My labia talks and sings to me. Your all just a bunch of weirdos, being a woman is wasted on you all! 😡

CharlieSierra Thu 16-Mar-17 22:10:54

em flowers

GinAndSonic Thu 16-Mar-17 22:11:26

Emwithme flowers

Bambambini Thu 16-Mar-17 22:13:56

Sorry to hear that em, hadn't read your post before i posted my flippant jabbering.

CharlieSierra Thu 16-Mar-17 22:15:48

The writer is certainly reliant upon crappy stereotypes to signal her femininity the writer is of the male sex and their 'labia' are surgically constructed. They should probably get a check up, and maybe smaller implants if the tits are getting in the way.

TheBatPig Thu 16-Mar-17 22:25:19

Aye I'm well aware the writer is male. That's very evident from that one post alone without reading anything else on the page.

NoToast Thu 16-Mar-17 22:27:26

Nope never been conscious of them. Mine have been quiet during the teen time when I got sick of constant street harassment from men and shaved off my hair (and looked like a boy) and the longer haired later years.

In the last 30 years discussion with friends turns up the following labia observations. Apparently one friend has one bigger than the other and slightly worried about it before meeting her wife and another had to get on her hands and knees to check out her friend's ones after childbirth had turned them into lettuce leaves (strong drink had been taken).

MercyMyJewels Thu 16-Mar-17 22:27:58

flowers Em

NoToast Thu 16-Mar-17 22:31:24

Sorry you're going through this Em

Datun Thu 16-Mar-17 22:32:53

emwithme

Thinking of you.

Datun Thu 16-Mar-17 22:33:08

flowers

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