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Shrinking to survive: detransitioned transman blog post

(11 Posts)
Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g Thu 16-Mar-17 17:51:34


Incredibly moving. This young woman was only 20 when she wrote this (last year, so maybe I'm very late seeing this) and had a double mastectomy at 17. What is going wrong when a troubled young woman who self-harms is fast tracked through to surgery and hormone treatment instead of getting what she clearly needed, i.e. talking therapy?

FishInAWetSuitAndFlippers Thu 16-Mar-17 17:55:40

The suggestion of therapy is pretty much considered transphobic now.

These stories will become more and more frequent in the next 10-15 years.

It absolutely breaks my heart that all of these kids are being pushed into this not understanding the full consequences.

cuirderussie Thu 16-Mar-17 18:36:05

I read this, it's so sad. I know a 16 year old girl who has had a double mastectomy and is taking testosterone which I couldn't believe was legal but apparently it is (she's in the US). I think she'll end up like this girl.

Datun Thu 16-Mar-17 19:26:38

I found this exceptionally sad. And infuriating on her behalf.

I can easily understand the allure of male approval. And how getting older can really wise you up.

However what I am struggling with is this poor girl's paper thin sense of self. And not just hers, but others she speaks of.

I don't have daughters. Is this fragility common? Is it just girls?

cuirderussie Thu 16-Mar-17 22:41:12

Datun yes, it's something she touches on, how the garbled, fragmented, "intersectional" education she got totally cut her off from the history of feminism and sense of commonality with other girls and women. I remember how much feminist literature I read as an awkward teenager in the 1980s and how much it meant to have those "foremothers" past and present helping me make sense of it all. I had my first baby while still in college and Adrienne Rich's Of Woman Born saved my sanity. I can't imagine how desperately confusing it would be to be surrounded by all that awful Orwellian shit about pregnant persons and chestfeeding and female penises and so on, and 24 hour internet access to these brainwashing nutters. It's easy for us to ridicule but young people are susceptible to it because they're young. I'm scared of my daughter's teenage years sad

Datun Thu 16-Mar-17 22:47:17


I don't have a background in feminism. I just know men talking shit when I see it.

But I totally agree with your point about being immersed in the online culture somehow damaging your perception.

But to take it that far? To deny yourself to that extent?

I'm not intending to ridicule at all. Far from it. Actually I have read her story before, but I am wondering how pervasive this is. And I agree, very concerning.

cuirderussie Thu 16-Mar-17 23:04:43

Oh I didn't mean you were ridiculing the young people, just the mad illogical stuff they're being fed -it's so batshit to anyone with any life experience. Yeah, I guess you don't have to have read feminist theory, just have a strong and clear idea of what is a man and what is a woman, and a notion of how women could protect themselves. My gran had little education but always told her daughters to keep a secret stash of money from their husband "just in case"

I'd like to think the poor girl was unusually fragile and sensitive, her case sounds very extreme.

MercyMyJewels Thu 16-Mar-17 23:05:30

Oh wow. Brave brave woman.

I have no words at the moment

Mrskeats Fri 17-Mar-17 16:35:10

I also think we will see lots of suing in the future
I cannot believe that she had her breasts removed at 17
There is no way at that age you know what you want at that age
It's just not ok to be gay any more is it?
Incredibly sad

noeffingidea Fri 17-Mar-17 20:08:35

This is very sad.
It makes me think of the Belgian transman Nathan Verhelst who had an assisted suicide after a 'botched sex change operation'. There seems to be a lot of unresolved issues in some of these cases.

GuardianLions Fri 17-Mar-17 21:17:13

I read the whole piece now and it has given me a lot of food for thought. I've been on the outside looking in on all this genderist madness. I've experienced the aggression, the accusations of "transphobe", "privilege-checking", the illogical arguments, silencing tactics, rejection from 'feminist' bookgroups, etc. I always wondered "who are these lunatics acting as a pack?", "what is so compelling that makes them confound their own brains like that?".

Now I see that it is worse than I feared when I used to say it was a cult.

It is undeniably a cult. The initial welcoming of 'lost' people to meet their 'real' family , slowly more and more being deemed beyond the pale, forbidden texts, forbidden thoughts, forbidden words, fear of ostracism, the unquestioned patriarchy, the male sexual predators, the ritualised mandatory sex for females, etc, etc, etc...

It is truly far more horrific for those on the inside than I ever really considered before.

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