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Terrified of aging

(56 Posts)
FreeNiki Mon 06-Mar-17 16:17:41

Anyone else.

Im already terrified of being past my best and think I become more worthless the older I get.

LassWiTheDelicateAir Mon 06-Mar-17 20:40:08


badabeedabom Mon 06-Mar-17 20:41:29

Nope smile

Had a small wobble when visible signs of, erm, maturity all hit at once. But I'm fine with it now. Like they say, it sure beats the alternative.

WorldWideWish Mon 06-Mar-17 20:42:17

OP, would you say that your feelings of self worth and self esteem are based on your looks rather than your personality / intelligence / skills and achievements?

badabeedabom Mon 06-Mar-17 20:42:57

By the way it's no accident that women are conditioned to think of themselves as increasingly worthless right around the time when they start to get sick of putting up with society's bullshit. Just saying.

KERALA1 Mon 06-Mar-17 20:43:03

Better than the alternative!

chiquita1 Mon 06-Mar-17 20:43:56

Me too.

FaFoutis Mon 06-Mar-17 20:44:52

It depends what you think 'your best' is.

KERALA1 Mon 06-Mar-17 20:44:53

I like being more invisible. Used to be quite attractive and gots lots of hassle, letching and grim sexual comments etc. Now I don't - result!

FaFoutis Mon 06-Mar-17 20:45:34

I like that too.

QuentinSummers Mon 06-Mar-17 20:45:34

I've started to notice women in my age bracket (40s) getting sidelined at work too any the cynical feminist in me thinks it's because we are ageing out of being perceived as fuckable and therefore pointless.
It's so fucking depressing. I wish I could accept it more gracefully bit I can't.

PlymouthMaid1 Mon 06-Mar-17 20:46:30

Do t be daft... Embrace your inner crone. Seriously though, I do think really beautiful looking women possibly find aging harder than more ordinary looking ones. My Mum has !oathed getting older and her looks changing but I think it has blighted her life for several years now. I don't want to care that much and hope to find something good jn every stage.

Coverup890 Mon 06-Mar-17 20:46:54

Nope but I have noticed people who are what society perceives as beautiful struggle more with ageing. I have never particularly fit the mould and seem to be getting happier in myself the older I get.

HecateAntaia Mon 06-Mar-17 20:47:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chickennuggetfeeder Mon 06-Mar-17 20:58:31

Having never been seen as fuckable I've been invisible my whole life anyway so quite like the fact I'm getting older.

This country is to obsessed with youth.

PencilsInSpace Mon 06-Mar-17 21:02:22

How old are you? I'm nearing 50 and I'm not scared of the next couple of decades (health permitting). I've been 'past my best' according to societal standards for a while now and TBH it's a bit of a relief. I think I'm just approaching my personal best grin

I'm terrified of being very old and needing personal care though.

Ledkr Mon 06-Mar-17 21:06:04

I'm not thrilled at turning 50 but I do love the person I've become and my life.
I had aggressive breast cancer at 27 so I'm so lucky to be here.
I do like the fact that I eat well (ish) and exercise for health rather than vanity now.

Laska5772 Mon 06-Mar-17 21:07:17

I will be 60 this yearshock!! HTFF did that happen?.. I admit i strugged a few years ago , but I have accepted myself ( pretty much now..) its actuall y quite liberating.. I am fortunate that the old geezer I am shackled to is also reasonably pragmatic about getting older..

We are doing it disgracefully.. gin (and ooer missus !)
Its not all that bad, really and what is the alternative?

Thelilywhite Mon 06-Mar-17 21:08:14

Felt a bit wobbly nearing 60 but not bothered about losing looks. What I hate is my body wont work properly anymore!

QuentinSummers Mon 06-Mar-17 21:13:42

flowers for you all. This is making me feel better grin

MutePoint Mon 06-Mar-17 21:18:06

I probably wouldn't fear aging so much if it wasn't for MN and the media.

LassWiTheDelicateAir Mon 06-Mar-17 23:18:49

I'm not going to embrace my inner crone as I don't have an inner crone. I'm 57. I don't think I'm past my best.

Career wise I'm doing better than I ever did and my profile is far higher than when I was 30.

Looks wise I wish I could lose some weight. I was beautiful when young. I don't think I have lost my looks- I'm just older.

would you say that your feelings of self worth and self esteem are based on your looks rather than your personality / intelligence / skills and achievements?

My sense of self worth was and is based on looks, intelligence and skills and achievement.

FreeNiki Tue 07-Mar-17 02:06:57

Im 38.

OP, would you say that your feelings of self worth and self esteem are based on your looks rather than your personality / intelligence / skills and achievements?

No I dont look my age. But the thing is I am my age. I wouldn't be bothered but I'm single and no children. Who wants a woman my age now? I'll probably never have children and be alone forever. Never had a special long term relationship.

So I have maybe 40 more years of this shit. I wish I'd been more proactive in dating when I was late 20s.

RiverdaleJughead Tue 07-Mar-17 02:16:24

I have a wrinkle and I despise it .. I'm not ready to go downhill when I have never achieved my ' best self' . Fucking wrinkle I am 22 and know women who're 45 who don't have wrinkles and I hate hate hate it. Right ... slight meltdown over.

FreeNiki Tue 07-Mar-17 02:23:50

I dont have any fine lines, crows feet, grey hairs. I've been told i dont look my age.

But no one wanted me when i was younger and who will now.

Men dont get past it when 40. Or taken less seriously.

It makes me ill that my best days are over.

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