Girlie Glue

[Fairyflaps]

No, this isn't the stuff that glues your labia shut - it's a glue manufactured for sticking on baby girls' hair accessories - you know the ones that won't stick on because they have barely any hair. Or for sticking on ear studs because their ears aren't pierced yet.
Because heaven forfend your dd is misgendered by any passing stranger.
girlieglue.com

[VestalVirgin]

Ugh. This is not as disgusting as the labia glue, but still very, very disgusting.

Why would anyone be so vile as to use that on their daughter? Shouldn't people come to their senses when they realize that their daughter doesn't even have hair yet, and realize that she is a baby, not a decorative object?

[ChocChocPorridge]

I can't imagine what would go through someone's head to think it's a good idea to glue things on to their baby.. like some kind of collage... the world is a very weird place.

[ChocChocPorridge]

Although I did once draw eyebrows and a moustache on a baby for comedy purposes...

[SaorAlbaGuBrath]

That has to be a wind up surely?

[SaorAlbaGuBrath]

like some kind of collage that made my day

[ArcheryAnnie]

I saw this on twitter, googled it thinking it must be a joke, and found out there is a WHOLE INDUSTRY dedicated to manufacturing little twee pieces of shite, bows and whatnot, to glue to your baby's head. It's amazing.

I did also see on twitter the excellent idea that if you are ever given some, you should use it as an opportunity to glue "horns, googly eyes, carpet samples" to your baby's head. I'd totally go for the horns.

[clairethewitch70]

Just looked on their website - they also sell stick on bows and earrings. Stick on earrings for babies? Choking hazard?

[AssassinatedBeauty]

Words are failing me...

What could you stick on boys with no hair to make it clear that they're boys? A small plastic tractor or car maybe?

[ChocChocPorridge]

I did also see on twitter the excellent idea that if you are ever given some, you should use it as an opportunity to glue "horns, googly eyes, carpet samples" to your baby's head. I'd totally go for the horns.

What could you stick on boys with no hair to make it clear that they're boys? A small plastic tractor or car maybe?

A jaunty mini top-hat and monacle?

[ChocChocPorridge]

Oh god - typing while giggling.. Monocle

[WindwardCircle]

I thought this was going to be about those pink pritt sticks you can buy, which are pretty annoying but this is a whole new level of wtf.

Looking at the website they're suggesting people glue small plastic shapes to babies ears. Which is basically glueing something that's a perfect size for a baby to swallow onto a baby with a weak glue made from cactus sap. Great idea.

[SaorAlbaGuBrath]

Advocating gluing anything to a baby is a bit but something that could kill them? What genius came up with that?
Actually crying at some of the suggestions for boys

[VestalVirgin]

What could you stick on boys with no hair to make it clear that they're boys? A small plastic tractor or car maybe?

Nothing. It is always the oppressed who must be marked.

See cartoon animals - the normal one is male, the one with the pink bow is female.

That is why it is so essential to mark your female baby as female. If you refuse to participate in the nonsense, then other people's unmarked baby boys could be confused for girls - oh noes!
Or your female children could accidentally be treated as fully human by someone who thinks their lack of bows means they are male. The horror!

Though the mini top-hat and monocle sounds tempting. If I ever have a son, and someone tries to tell me that he should not wear pink clothes, I will reassure them that I will glue a top-hat on his head so there's no confusion.

[AssassinatedBeauty]

I have an 8 month old boy with very little hair, and now I really want to stick a mini top hat on him! He would look adorable.

[PoochSmooch]

Wow, that is lame and alarming in equal measure.

So unfair that boys don't get to have stuff glued on them so we know what sex they are. Monocle and top hat sound great - how a glue on giant hipster beards and man buns, for the more relaxed weekend-at-home look?

[PoochSmooch]

*how about

[TheCountessofFitzdotterel]

Most things are improved by sticking on googly eyes.

When dd was little I bought her some hairslides and she said, 'Now let's find one with a tractor on for ds1.' She thought it was very unfair when I said there weren't any.

[ChocChocPorridge]

Wouldn't help with sex advertisement, but a troll wig would also look adorable. especially when they've just woken up and have little red squashed noses.

[ArcheryAnnie]

TROLL WIG. That's amazing, Choc.

I bet petshops for frou-frou little dogs have some good shit that would look great glued onto a baby.... Tiny hats and so on.

I've always wanted to dress up a baby as Naomi Wildman from Star Trek Voyager, too.

trekcore.com/gallery/albums/naomiwildman/Naomi_wildman,_infant.jpg

(My son is very lucky that he's a teenager, otherwise I'd go to town.)

[MrsDustyBusty]

I started reading this thinking that the idea was appalling but now I'm very keen to stick things to my baby.

[VestalVirgin]

Monocle and top hat sound great - how a glue on giant hipster beards and man buns, for the more relaxed weekend-at-home look?

But wouldn't you have to stop that after you start to give them solid food? I mean, while you breastfeed or bottlefeed, that might work ...

And now I imagine what breastfeeding your little hipster with glued-on-beard would look like.

[PoochSmooch]

They should also think about a line of baby boy chest wigs too. Maybe some glue -on back hair?

I'm all about the equality, me

[VestalVirgin]

I started reading this thinking that the idea was appalling but now I'm very keen to stick things to my baby.

I think what makes this appalling is the thinking behind it, and the idea that someone would every day without fail glue a little bow to their daughters' head so that everyone can tell she's a member of the subhuman sex class.

People here are making fun of the idea, and those who'd glue on googly eyes or troll wigs wouldn't bother doing this every day, or even most days.

[MrsDustyBusty]

Well there's a joke that misfired.

[ChocChocPorridge]

I've always wanted to dress up a baby as Naomi Wildman from Star Trek Voyager, too

Oh god, if I had a baby again.. stranger bends over to pram.. recoils in horror at little klingon baby... tries to say something nice anyway...