I identify as a feminist, hurrah! But this doesn't seem to help my life in any way. It means that I notice all of the shit and don't have a single friend who has similar thoughts and opinions to me. I try so hard to stay upbeat, but as soon as I go out the door and into the real world the shit is shoved in my face. I want to stay in and lock the door.
I took my 15 month old to a local toddler group yesterday, which is the first one I've been to. It was quite a big deal for me to do this, I've been feeling anxious about going out. I didn't expect anything amazing and the people were friendly enough, but I didn't fit in. It was obvious the second I walked in. My son was pushing around a little pink pram - he loves to push things and crawl behind them. One of the other moms said "oh, you won't want to send that photo to daddy!" and everybody laughed. I didn't understand what she meant at first, but then I realised. Not only was my son pushing a pram, but a pink one. Doesn't he know he has a penis?! I didn't say anything. Not saying anything has really played on my mind. I just looked away. She didn't mean anything by it and I doubt she's ever questioned it. It's so normal to her that she was using it as a way to break the ice, almost. I should have said something but I'm not confrontational and I'd just walked into a roomful of people who all know each other.
I am so, so tired of trying to meet people and invite people over only to realise that we are not at all similar and I can't truly be myself or talk about things with them. I invited a friend over last week, thinking it would cheer me up a bit, but I just realised that she doesn't know me that well at all and I hold back because it would just be uncomfortable.
I live on a rough council estate in a 'deprived' area. That's where this toddler group was held. Part of me wonders whether it is to be expected and I would need to move to a middle class area to find what I'm looking for. Is that true? I hope not. I don't feel like I fit in anywhere. I had one friend at school who was a brilliant, intelligent feminist, even then. We lost touch mostly, just facebook friends. She would've remembered me very differently to person I am now. I found her facebook posts to be very reassuring because she had lived here too and had the same opinions as me. Not only that, but she really lived it. Even though we didn't see each other anymore and she had moved away, knowing she was out there made me feel better. I was going to contact her and then she suddenly died. This was last year and I was distraught. The grief I felt was really over the top for a woman I hadn't seen or spoken to in years. She was only in her twenties and she was the most intelligent person I've ever known
What am I supposed to do?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions
I feel so alone. Nobody around me holds the same views and it is everywhere I go.
70 replies
Splandy · 01/02/2017 11:28
OP posts:
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.