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Help me explain why I am a feminist

(25 Posts)
PeanutJuice Mon 23-Jan-17 19:40:46

How would you respond to someone who teases you about identifying as a feminist?
"Oh here comes the man hating feminist"
When I respond with assertiveness, and explain my feminist views I get mocked for being "so easily wound up"

PeanutJuice Mon 23-Jan-17 19:42:02

I suppose what I would really like are some punchy one liners, or statements to shut them the hell up!

ChocChocPorridge Mon 23-Jan-17 19:42:55

I stick with 'because I like having the right to vote and own property' - it's not a serious question, so it only needs a semi-serious answer.

civilfawlty Mon 23-Jan-17 19:43:09

Because women are people too?

languagelearner Mon 23-Jan-17 19:47:20

The other person obviously doesn't know you too well.

languagelearner Mon 23-Jan-17 19:47:46

No point in discussing with someone who doesn't want to listen.

PeanutJuice Mon 23-Jan-17 19:52:36

It just angers me how it's amusing to some men who have never experienced the every day sexism that women deal with. They don't think there is an issue, or any need to be a feminist or discuss issues because they are either oblivious to it, or it's so ingrained in society they don't even question it

0phelia Mon 23-Jan-17 20:03:54

I expect they're secretly intimidated. Try explaining yourself with simply a look.

Or answer a question with a question.
"Why do you think I might be a feminist?"
"Why aren't you feminist?"
"Has feminism helped advance the lives of women or not?"

abeandhalo Mon 23-Jan-17 20:11:04

I think the dictionary definition quoted by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is the best: a feminist is a person who believes in the social, political and economic equality of the sexes.

We don't have that now, & if the person you're talking to thinks that we do they need to go and educate themselves!

DeviTheGaelet Mon 23-Jan-17 20:43:05

EElisaveta had the best response - "well of course, isn't everyone?" With raised eyebrow!

LassWiTheDelicateAir Mon 23-Jan-17 20:45:51

According to the Fawcett report linked to on another thread 91% of women don't say they are feminists so arching an eyebrow may not get you very far.

MuteButtonisOn Mon 23-Jan-17 23:05:54

Mine would be ' so my daughters can continue to have the freedom and choices you have, you fuckwit ' which probably isn't helpful.

glenthebattleostrich Mon 23-Jan-17 23:08:07

I usually answer with I don't hate men, I keep one as a pet. He gets fed and walked and everything.

Stupid arsiness deserves a silly answer.

venusinscorpio Mon 23-Jan-17 23:08:14

I like your answer Choc! Will be using that one.

29redshoes Mon 23-Jan-17 23:12:38

Stay as calm as possible because they're looking for a reaction! Don't bother trying to start a serious conversation about it.

I'd probably answer with "oh, don't you believe in equal rights for women then?" Then depending how well I knew the person and how jokey I was feeling I might compare them to Donald Trump. Then every time they started the "here come the feminist" jibes I could say "oh well, we all know how you feel, Donald".

Italiangreyhound Tue 24-Jan-17 01:43:17

PeanutJuice who are these numb nuts who say this to you? I mean if it is someone you can't avoid seeing then it may just be best to ignore. They will soon get bored.

If this is male friends, yeah I'd pretty much ignore them.

If you want to explain to them why feminism is important there probably isn't any point unless they are interested. I'd do what you are doing talk to some other feminists on line.

Maybe watch this, I like the guy wit the bed backgrounds honesty! Everything would feel threatening and I'd probably lock myself in doors all the time! I guess the reason we don't is the frog in the boiling water thing! (this video is light-hearted and not a truly feminist critique of anything!)

Italiangreyhound Tue 24-Jan-17 01:46:19

I like the guy who said it is so dangerous outside's honesty!

TeiTetua Tue 24-Jan-17 09:32:47

Hate men? No, just one of them.

BertrandRussell Tue 24-Jan-17 09:35:21

Ask them why they aren't feminists.

Change your social circle.

WellErrr Tue 24-Jan-17 09:49:43

'But being a feminist means that you agree that women are of equal worth to and should have the same rights and opportunities as men? Surely you're a feminist too? Or don't you think that women should have these basic rights?'

ShotsFired Tue 24-Jan-17 10:15:47

WellErrr 'But being a feminist means that you agree that women are of equal worth to and should have the same rights and opportunities as men? Surely you're a feminist too? Or don't you think that women should have these basic rights?'

I think this and other replies are great answers, but to ask a supplementary question, how do we respond when people say "but you already have equal rights/equal pay/etc - it's the law" (as if something being the law [or against it] ever automatically made it so).

Just yesterday in fact I had a FB friend asking if anyone knew of women who really earned less than men. This was a professional, university educated white middle class man working in technology. So not exactly at the coalface of life. Some of the replies he got were just dehumanising in terms of belittling the facts around equal pay, for example.

Italiangreyhound Thu 26-Jan-17 09:34:30

I think it comes down to so much more than equal pay!

Violence against women and girls, FGM, abusive relationships, coercive control, financial control, women's unpaid labour, sexual harassment of girls in school and women and girls anywhere (workplace, socialising, the street etc), lack of control around the world around contraceptives and reproductive health and well being, criminalization of having a miscarriage, body and behaviour shaming of girls and women, boys demanding and getting unequal opportunities in the classroom, girls steered away from STEM in favour of caring professions, pornography and the prevalence of the idea women are 'up for it, no means maybe and maybe means yes, women forced to accept men in our private spaces, women denied private spaces, unisex toilets where women are more likely to be attacked, women being spoken over in public debate and in the home, massive lack of representation of women and girls in film/media/stories/politics/all forms of leadership.... Not just a pay issue. What did I miss off my list?

ElspethFlashman Thu 26-Jan-17 09:36:59

You're either feminist or sexist. End of.

Cos if you don't believe in equality for women, then you're sexist.

There's no need to say more, surely? It just invites the idea that there's anything to debate, when there's not.

palebluedotty Thu 26-Jan-17 11:14:03

OP, how about: "Oh and here's the woman-hating misogynist".

TheSparrowhawk Fri 27-Jan-17 07:34:05

I just refuse to engage, what's the point? Why waste your energy?

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