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Longing, longing for female only spaces

(37 Posts)
hangry Mon 09-Jan-17 23:10:40

I mean i like males and that, got a male partner and two of my kids are boys. i work in a heavily male dominated field and i'm usually the only female in the room. It's never been a problem for me.

but lately i just find myself longing for a space away from the male male bullshit. the coming on a feminist forums and spouting arrogant needy so so self assured so so missing the point crap from every hole. the constant need to be right, to be praised, to get a pat on the head and a cookie. the unquestioning belief that you'll be listened to and respected because of course you will. cos you know, male.

with the testicles of objectivity and all that jazz.

and no, not just here, tho yes here too. but everywhere. everywhere online, below the line is hell cos of the menz.

i want to hang out with females but i don't know how to sad

thinking about writing some kind of app or website, invite only, double vetted females only for chatting and organizing events. think i'd probably be burnt as a witch if i did tho.

sorry, kind of lost my point along the way there somehow.

female spaces. are there any? where? what?

DeviTheGaelet Tue 10-Jan-17 07:40:46

Yes hangry I agree
Facebook may be the way to go.

G1raffePicnic Tue 10-Jan-17 07:42:40

Guiding and wi are the only 2 I can think of! Many book groups end up being so, and mother and toddler groups. But that's kind of niche...

Megatherium Tue 10-Jan-17 07:45:45

There are loads of female only groups around, it really isn't hard to find them. Look at virtually any textile-related crafting group or class, for instance.

DeviTheGaelet Tue 10-Jan-17 07:53:59

I read it that hangry meant a female only group to discuss stuff. Maybe a feminist group.

theaveragewife Tue 10-Jan-17 07:58:19

Cakes, crafts and mothering....ah the options we have......

M0stlyHet Tue 10-Jan-17 07:58:34

I know what you mean, hangry. For instance, when every other post on a thread is by a bloke, you'd think they might realise they were taking up a disproportionate amount of air time, but, no... apparently the thread is all about them.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks Tue 10-Jan-17 08:06:49

the coming on a feminist forums and spouting arrogant needy so so self assured... the constant need to be right, to be praised, ... the unquestioning belief that you'll be listened to and respected because of course you will. cos you know, male.

Sounds more like a mumsnet feminist than any of the males I know tbh.

SpeakNoWords Tue 10-Jan-17 08:27:51

The Facebook suggestion would probably provide what you're thinking of. You'd be able to control who is a member of the group, and keep it a secret group too if you want.

VikingVolva Tue 10-Jan-17 08:28:01

You need to join groups which verify registration details.

And, going further, you could set up yourself the group you wish existed.

Personally I prefer open sites, such as this one; but there's definitely scope for all sorts to co-exist on the web.

CharlieSierra Tue 10-Jan-17 08:36:16

For instance, when every other post on a thread is by a bloke, you'd think they might realise they were taking up a disproportionate amount of air time, but, no... apparently the thread is all about them

Catching up this morning I thought this exact thing. It's tedious beyond belief.

Not sure what the answer is, my RL feminist group has males in it too. hmm

hangry Tue 10-Jan-17 08:51:39

may have been in a ranty mood last night but it does just get a bit wearing. all my hobbies and stuff are kind of 'male' interests but WI that's something i hadn't thought of.

it's not that i don't want to be around males, or that i don't like them or am sometimes interested in what they have to say, i just crave a tiny bit of space away from them!

AuntieStella Tue 10-Jan-17 09:09:17

Posters - of either sex - can take up as much airtime as they like in any topic they want. That's part of the point of open, largely unmoderated sites (other sites are available, as they would say on BBC).

Personally, I'd like to see posters choosing which topic to post in somewhat more carefully. But if ever I post that I know I'm likely to get flamed - even the mildest suggestion of a better topic can lead to extremely vocal flaming as thread police.

MaudOnceMore Tue 10-Jan-17 09:17:07

Another recommendation for the WI. Or volunteer for Girlguiding - it's all about offering positive role models for girls and young women.

CharlieSierra Tue 10-Jan-17 09:28:55

Of course Auntie but when it's a bloke in FWR arguing about the tenets of feminism and constantly turning the subject matter to what he wants to talk about, I question his motivation and reserve the right to be irritated by his ubiquitous presence in what I consider to be a primarily female space.

PhilODox Tue 10-Jan-17 09:31:15

Plenty of female only topics in MN- hang around Good Housekeeping, Arts and Craft, Style and Beauty, Home decoration, Infant Feeding, extra-curricular, primary education, Food/recipes, gardening... never see any (known to be) male posters there. Can't imagine why...

It's like MN of old. Y'know, people having conversations and helping one another, not having bunfights.

Cakingbad Tue 10-Jan-17 09:33:57

Get thee to a nunnery?

Bluntness100 Tue 10-Jan-17 09:35:52

Do you not have any female friends? Your post seems a bit rants and irrational to me. Do something which is more female orientated and make some female friends.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel Tue 10-Jan-17 09:36:11

Set up a women only feminist group if your local one is mixed.
My feminist group has male and female members and runs a mixed book group but our core meetings are women only.
Every few months we get men emailing us complaining so we always say 'if members would like to set up mixed meetings to run in addition to our all women ones they are very welcome to' but nobody ever does.
It is honestly very easy to get things off the ground. It starts off with you alone in a coffee shop at a regular time and gradually more people find you.
It's easy on the internet to get the idea you'll be burnt as a witch but the witch burners never bother to show up in real life.

INeedNewShoes Tue 10-Jan-17 09:41:51

Oh come on. There are women-only activities that are based around more than domestic skills. How about Walking Women - you could go on tough hiking holidays in the Alps with them if you wanted to. I'm sure there are women-only cycling clubs too.

I have to say this idea that feminists fancy some women-only spaces suggests that its not actually 'equality' that they're after. Imagine how up in arms you'd be if you couldn't join the local archery club because 'it's men only'.

coxsorangepippin Tue 10-Jan-17 09:44:23

Or try Meetup

TheCountessofFitzdotterel Tue 10-Jan-17 09:44:41

That reminds me, if you fancy a women-only holiday and like walking you could get yourself along to the Women's Holiday Centre at Horton in the Yorkshire Dales.

PhilODox Tue 10-Jan-17 09:44:41

Equity is not the same as equality.
Personally, I'm after equity.

PhilODox Tue 10-Jan-17 09:45:41

Meet-up is pretty good, actually. I've met some lovely people through there.

ageingrunner Tue 10-Jan-17 09:46:46

It's difficult because as soon as you start saying that you want a female only space and publicising that, you're going to get a load of males who identify as women loudly demanding to be included. It'd have to be some kind of secret underground women's network for it not to be infiltrated 😔

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