Advanced search

International men's day event

(101 Posts)
Milander Wed 16-Nov-16 07:34:51

I live in this area and can think if 4 women who have been killed in the last 3/4 years by partners in my neighbourhood so I'm a bit concerned at the rhetoric that this needs to be balanced.
"Last year’s event focused on violence against women but it is important to recognise that men can be victims too.

"One in six men will suffer from domestic abuse at some point in their life, with men twice as like to not report the abuse to anyone."

WellErrr Wed 16-Nov-16 07:38:32

Men are actually MORE likely to report domestic violence than women, and after fewer incidents too.
Also, a large proportion of DV/DA with male victims also has male perpetrators.

YES there certainly are male victims in need of support, but I hate the myth that it's as bad/worse for men but they just don't dare tell anyone.

Milander Wed 16-Nov-16 07:42:21

Do you know where the stat is that says men are more likely to report?

Xenophile Wed 16-Nov-16 07:43:25

The stats are inaccurate but they are the ones often cited by the more excitable parts of the manosphere. It fails to mention who the perpetrator often is and the part about not reporting isn't borne out by the research.

It's a shame to waste what could be a useful day discussing far more pressing topics, such as men's mental health.

WellErrr Wed 16-Nov-16 07:47:28

Can't remember but it was linked on here and reliable. Off out now but I'll have a look later.

There was also evidence that many reports of DV against men by female perpetrators were where the female had been a victim of long term EA and had snapped, and been reported on first instance.
Haven't worded that very well but it's early.

There are certainly genuine cases before anyone starts, but the stats are all out there. I'll have a look later.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks Wed 16-Nov-16 07:48:50

It'll be as bad for any one person as another.

This is the problem when you treat people as statistics.

Milander Wed 16-Nov-16 07:49:09

I have this article:

ChocChocPorridge Wed 16-Nov-16 07:57:30

These links can help - this is a general overview:

This is the Scottish crime survey (in Scotland they collect stats on both the abused, and the abuser)

As the first link mentions, they include a few more things as domestic violence than the rest of the UK, so it's not possible to compare really.

DeviTheGaelet Wed 16-Nov-16 08:04:18

Why the fuck would anyone choose Kelly Maloney to speak at a mens day event? 1) while Frank, Maloney strangled their wife 2) Kellie is a trans woman so surely doesn't count themselves as a man?
Ugh odious. Couldn't make this event seem more "what about the menz?" If they tried.
Interesting though that a TRA wants to simultaneously be involved in mens rights and women's rights events. Suggests to me a need to be the centre of attention.

FirstShinyRobe Wed 16-Nov-16 08:06:50

I wonder if Maloney shared their experience of domestic violence.

Pizanfan Wed 16-Nov-16 08:33:47

Poor attitudes on this thread, ignore mens issues at your peril, because when you ignore and condemn men, women receive the brunt end of the frustrtion and reaction!

That Telegraph article is not very balanced, I'd like someone to give me one instance of British culture encouraging domestic violence gainst women!

There is a very clear reasoning why 5+ offences are not counted in the ONS results, and frankly any person who accepts a 6th reported offence against them has to take some responsibility.

The idea more beds in for womens refuge are required because women who report 6th offences are not counted is laughable, the stat that 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men will experience DV in thier lifetime isn't statistically honest for a start, and are skewed by multiple reports.

The idea that men need 40% of finances attributed to their aid is also a stupid idea, men stats show not only do they report mutliple times less, but they cope with DV far better than women, and thus need less assistance. There could however be an argument for more assistance currently.

The idea men report more is dishonest, they report far less, the only demographic that report higher by men is homosexual males, usually because the violence they recieve is more damaging. Men report far less, and the number can only be estimated because mens attitude to domestic violence is generally, if they are not physically harmed badly, it doesn't count.

An american University study reporte that 40%+ of domestic homicides were committed by women, and victims varied.

You see we are all in this together, ignore mens issues at your peril, because they will suffer, and ultimately women will then suffer too. We have to take collective responsibility for all of our actions, only then can we start to rebuild.

tribpot Wed 16-Nov-16 08:44:43

I don't think it's unreasonable for an international men's day event to focus on a male issue - whether that's domestic violence, suicide or healthcare avoidance. Equally it could focus on the problem of violence committed by men and looking to that community to find solutions.

StealthPolarBear Wed 16-Nov-16 08:52:56


Xenophile Wed 16-Nov-16 08:58:44

Absolutely Trib and given that Maloney is involved in it, they could do some interesting work around their extremely violent behaviour.

ageingrunner Wed 16-Nov-16 09:04:32
The above is good, by Karen ingala smith

ageingrunner Wed 16-Nov-16 09:08:32

Pizafan you seem to be implying that if women don't centre men in DV campaigns, men will get annoyed and women will bear the brunt? So you're threatening violence to women whilst simultaneously saying that men are more likely to be victims??

Pizanfan Wed 16-Nov-16 09:14:35

40% doesn't state more likely does it?

Including men in a conversation and allowing them an outlet doesn't suggest centring them does it?

That is an awfull reaction to what I wrote, please be honest within the discussion.

Pizanfan Wed 16-Nov-16 09:15:35


So you literally want a mens event, in which male DV victims attend to centre around the premise of fixing their violence tendancies?

DeviTheGaelet Wed 16-Nov-16 09:20:58

There is a very clear reasoning why 5+ offences are not counted in the ONS results, and frankly any person who accepts a 6th reported offence against them has to take some responsibility.
Totally victim blaming here and also showing woeful misunderstanding of how DV works. I'm disgusted by this.

ageingrunner Wed 16-Nov-16 09:22:19

Poor attitudes on this thread, ignore mens issues at your peril, because when you ignore and condemn men, women receive the brunt end of the frustrtion and reaction

This is what you said 😳

Pizanfan Wed 16-Nov-16 09:23:04


Why the disgust?

I know how DV works, i've studied it, although not comprehensively. I highlighted person and reported for a reason, please acknowledge it.

venusinscorpio Wed 16-Nov-16 09:23:30

I got exactly the same thing as aging, Pizan. There's an undertone of threat.

BertrandRussell Wed 16-Nov-16 09:25:11

Happy for men to organise themselves and to create refuges and raise awareness about men's issues in any way they choose.
The problem is that they usually seem to want women to do the "heavy lifting".

Pizanfan Wed 16-Nov-16 09:25:15

Ageing, that is what I said, now if you could just point out the words centre, majority, and where the threat is that would be nice!

Ignoring any demographics issues is stupidity, because theres always a knock on effect.

venusinscorpio Wed 16-Nov-16 09:27:18

Are you completely obtuse? Or just being a gf. I know what I think.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now