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Pub dinner turned sour!

(97 Posts)
honkawonka Sun 13-Nov-16 15:54:07

Just at a pub having some dinner with my boyfriend (child free eating time = bliss!) and the couple (50's) opposite us have just ordered a bottle of wine(or more specifically the woman has). The waiter brings over the bottle and pours a tasting glass for the man, asking him if it's ok to pour out and then pours his first then his wife's ! This smacks of blatant sexism to me that the man is the one who must make decisions etc.
On another note , finding the waiter is directing all decisions over menu etc to my bf too hmm probably bu but never mind , HANGRY!

honkawonka Sun 13-Nov-16 15:55:51

And they just brought out my glass to put my cold drink into but glass is hot from the dishwasher angry

mumblechum0 Sun 13-Nov-16 15:58:18

It's absolutely normal for the waiter to offer the man the wine to taste.

My dh usually tells them to let me taste it because I have a better palate!

Really nothing to get one's knickers in a twist about grin

GazingAtStars Sun 13-Nov-16 15:59:09

Why is it normal mumble chum?

ProfYaffle Sun 13-Nov-16 16:00:57

It's not normal confused I find waiting staff generally ask something like 'does anyone want to taste the wine?', directed at both of us. We usually decline.

CarShare Sun 13-Nov-16 16:01:17

Shouldn't they ask the person who ordered it to taste? I always order the wine for me and DH and am always asked to taste it (he's not especially into wine, I am).

mumblechum0 Sun 13-Nov-16 16:01:27

Perhaps normal isn't the right word - customary. I've been eating out in restaurants for 40 plus years, twice or three times a week, and in 99.99999 % of those occasions, if I'm with a man, the wine is poured for him to taste.

It's obviously the way waiting staff are trained, however DH and I do as mentioned, turn the tables by having me taste and approve it.

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid Sun 13-Nov-16 16:02:40

That's a posh pub if the waiter is pouring out your wine. -misses point of thread-

It seems a bit old fashioned to me. Anytime I've been somewhere the waiter / waitress has sort of asked the table if anyone would like to try the wine.
If it's just me and dh we just ask them to pour (cause we are plebs grin). Make sure you are the one that pays when you leave.

I'd be way more pissed off by the hot glass

LemonRedwood Sun 13-Nov-16 16:02:53

It's normal to offer the person who ordered the wine to taste it first. I would absolutely get my knickers in a twist if I ordered a bottle and they assumed my DH should do the tasting bit even though he didn't order it.

LassWiTheDelicateAir Sun 13-Nov-16 16:03:44

Why are you posting on here rather than enjoying time with your companion?

I'd be more offended by my lunch companion playing with their phone than anything else in this scenario.

My own experience is the waiter offers the tasting to whoever ordered the wine- husband and I always just say pour it out.

LemonRedwood Sun 13-Nov-16 16:05:35

The whole tasting of wine thing is silly anyway. You're not tasting to see if you like it; you're tasting to check if it's corked or not. Usually, you can smell corked wine as soon as the bottle is opened and I'm of the opinion that this should be part of the sommelier's job. Do they want me to check the milk by having a swig too?

QueenLaBeefah Sun 13-Nov-16 16:06:30

I think the new norm for waiting staff is to have the person who ordered the wine to then taste the wine. Or they offer a general "would anyone like to taste the wine" to the table. Offering only to the man is now very outdated.

YonicProbe Sun 13-Nov-16 16:17:39

"Offering only to the man is now very outdated."


Lass, maybe her lunch companion was utilising the facilities?

IAmAmy Sun 13-Nov-16 16:49:45

mumblechum0 even if it's "normal" it's still sexist. Lots of things which are "normal" or "customary" are sexist, all the more reason to challenge them. I've been at a couple of meals with my parents where it's been offered to my dad or the bill been given to my dad but thankfully only a couple.

LockedOutOfMN Sun 13-Nov-16 16:53:02

I've been at a couple of meals with my parents where it's been offered to my dad or the bill been given to my dad but thankfully only a couple.

I don't think my husband and I have ever been out to eat when the bill WASN'T handed to my husband, even when I asked for it. (I tend to ask as I'm the more impatient of the two of us).

JenLindleyShitMom Sun 13-Nov-16 16:55:53

Wow! Must be some date If you're watching what happens at other tables and posting on MN about it. Your lucky BF.

IAmAmy Sun 13-Nov-16 16:55:58

That's not good to hear. We don't usually go to particularly "posh" restaurants, more Cote, GBK etc type places or Sunday lunch at the pub, the times it has happened have been the posher ones. Other times it just gets put in the middle of the table somewhere. Such outdated sexism assuming the man will pay by default.

I am also disappointed the wine has never been given to me to taste.

IAmAmy Sun 13-Nov-16 16:56:47

JenLindleyShitMom it hardly takes long to post something or much effort to notice what's happening on another table.

Longdistance Sun 13-Nov-16 16:58:35

That would irritate the fuck out of me sad
It's happened to me before. So outdated.

JenLindleyShitMom Sun 13-Nov-16 17:01:30

JenLindleyShitMom it hardly takes long to post something or much effort to notice what's happening on another table.

The time taken wasn't the issue. It's rude as fuck.

MrsNuckyThompson Sun 13-Nov-16 17:02:55

Majority of the time the waiter or waitress will offer the tasting to the person who ordered the wine. My DH has extensive knowledge on wine compared to me so he'll always order and therefore taste.

IAmAmy Sun 13-Nov-16 17:03:52

How do you know it's rude? They could be chatting about it with one another and her say "I'm going to post this", he could have been away from the table. People get their phones out while out together all the time.

JenLindleyShitMom Sun 13-Nov-16 17:08:38

Oh yes it sure that's what happened. Silly me. People often go out with their partners to watch them post on MN grin

caroldecker Sun 13-Nov-16 17:10:23

Its not tasting. jut checking its corked, so the person having the first mouthful is in the worse position.

BabooshkaKate Sun 13-Nov-16 17:10:48

This drives me loopy. Tyne worst for me personally was when I ordered wine and DP was offered a taste despite sitting there with a pint!

I don't leave tips if there are sexist behaviours like that, e.g. me asking for the bill, putting the credit card with MY name on it on the plate and the waiter STILL handing the card reader to DP hmm

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