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Annoyed about this birth announcement

(113 Posts)
KickAssAngel Thu 03-Nov-16 14:21:00

Someone at work is currently on paternity leave. We all sent a card and a gift, and he thanked us. It's the second child.

In his thank-you, the Dad gave a brief description of the birth & how the family are doing.

It contained the line "we went in to labor"

It has really annoyed me. Probably because he's done other things that annoy me, too. But since when did men go into labor. I'm sure he was there, being as involved and caring as possible (this isn't sarcasm, he would have been very kind & supportive to his wife). But I'm equally sure that he didn't get one labor pain or have to push for even a little bit.

Gardencentregroupie Thu 03-Nov-16 14:23:14

ARGH that is a million times worse than we are pregnant, unless he was kicked in the ball sac every time she had a contraction and they did an episiotomy on his arsehole.

TheLegendOfBeans Thu 03-Nov-16 14:24:12


I don't know you
I've never seen you on here
But I love you 😍


crystalballbroke Thu 03-Nov-16 14:26:26

grin that made me chuckle.

OlennasWimple Thu 03-Nov-16 14:27:49

Typo for "she" in a befuddled, new baby moment? <hopeful>

Shutupanddance1 Thu 03-Nov-16 14:29:36

He was probably really excited about his kid and wanted to share it? hmm

KickAssAngel Thu 03-Nov-16 14:30:49

Everything else was perfectly accurately typed. I doubt it was a typo.

I have worked with this guy for 8 weeks and he has already annoyed me on multiple occasions with mansplaining, ignoring, inviting all the guys round for sports. I suspect that he genuinely believes that he was as much as part of the birth as his wife was.

Mozfan1 Thu 03-Nov-16 14:31:53

gardencentre won the internet today

What a git, did WE fuck go into labour. Stupid fucking man.

Inthenick Thu 03-Nov-16 14:35:37

I think it's a pity to shit on him when he's just had a baby and is excited and has just experienced probably the most exciting, terrifying and overwhelming situation in his entire life, albeit without any labour pains himself. He did just experience labour, not his own of course, but his own wife's and baby's labour.

VestalVirgin Thu 03-Nov-16 14:36:10

Well, it is the logical conclusion of "we are pregnant". confused
So, probably no surprise that things eventually got to that point?

I wonder ... do housewives also do this with their husband's career?

"We were promoted", "We earn X salary" et cetera?
It would be way more justified, as there's actual work involved in helping a husband achieve things, and work is all that the husband invests, too - while even a very supportive husband won't have to go through even a fraction of the pain and discomfort a woman goes through in pregnancy and childbirth.

But I cannot remember having seen it happen except with women being called by their husband's academic title in some areas, which is more a side effect of taking the husband's name than anything else.

TheLegendOfBeans Thu 03-Nov-16 14:36:32


Seconded but let's be honest - the "we" is a tad cringe grin

JunebabyT Thu 03-Nov-16 14:38:41

Ahh this would annoy me! my DP has been guilty of saying "we're pregnant" - he better not come out with this corker!

Ineedmorelemonpledge Thu 03-Nov-16 14:38:45

He was probably really excited about his kid and wanted to share it?

why would it have been such a problem to acknowledge his wife's strength during her labour during his excitement sharing email then?

Why did he have to muscle in on that?

My boss came in full of bewildered exhausted joy when his DS was born. He couldn't emphasize enough how much awe he felt for his wife, and all women during the pain of labour and how brave and amazing she was on the day.

You are right, he's a glory seeking tosspot.

There was a man in my prenatal courses who always spoke over his wife about the birth plan. He had a broken arm fixed without pain relief so she didn't need any pain relief for her labour. She just sat there, staring at the floor.

Jesus, can't we own anything these days.

Inthenick Thu 03-Nov-16 14:42:08

Thelegend, absolutely.grin

FrazzleRock Thu 03-Nov-16 14:47:01

DP said 'we' are pregnant when we were expecting our baby. Not sure how I felt about it but I don't think it angered me that much. I was too excited about the pending arrival to even care

KickAssAngel Thu 03-Nov-16 14:52:24

Inthenick - I will not be breathing a word of this in RL. I have simply joined in with the congratulations. I am also very genuinely happy for all of them that it was a pretty easy birth (I know his wife slightly btw).

It is their 2nd child, so (hopefully) not quite so overwhelming as it was first time.

And I'll be honest, it's as much the cringe as it is him taking on some aspect of his wife's labor. But having been cut off/ignored/talked over by him, (and I don't work with him directly) in just a few weeks, I do suspect that he thinks of himself as every bit as involved in the birth as his wife was.

SenecaFalls Thu 03-Nov-16 14:55:04

This would irritate me as well. It's ok for a partner to say "we are expecting" but not "we are pregnant" or "we went into labor."

grin at Gardencentre

JenLindleyShitMom Thu 03-Nov-16 14:59:13

He was probably really excited about his kid and wanted to share it?

Yeah, doesn't mean you just get to make shit up! grin the truth will suffice, no-one will think him any less of a dad because he didn't labour and give birth himself.

228agreenend Thu 03-Nov-16 15:06:18

'We in labour' wouldn't bother me. I would presume it meant he was there throughout the whole birthing experience, and supporting his wife throughout.

Inthenick Thu 03-Nov-16 15:17:47

My husband was emotionally and physically shattered after especially our first and third babies. I remember his white face and exhaustion. He was there, he didn't give birth, but he did experience a lot of his own stuff throughout. He also spent over 8 hours rubbing my back vigorously every 3 minutes and I think he only missed 2 of those contractions. I physically gave birth and it was a huge and painful experience. But I don't need to shit on what he went through by saying that I'm the only one who had a very rough 48hrs.

JenLindleyShitMom Thu 03-Nov-16 15:52:33

But I don't need to shit on what he went through by saying that I'm the only one who had a very rough 48hrs

No one said you should. There's is a difference between saying "dh had a tough 48 hours" and "DH went into labour" one is a lie.

vesuvia Thu 03-Nov-16 16:53:04

Inthenick wrote - "he's just had a baby"

It depends what you mean by "had".

LaContessaDiPlump Thu 03-Nov-16 16:59:48

Oh that would wind me right up. SHE went into labour. HE was present.

KickAssAngel Thu 03-Nov-16 17:05:59

I'm completely sure that he would have been totally involved and supportive, and I believe that it is a good thing for both parents to be involved as much as possible - it's for the benefit of everyone.

But there's a difference between being involved/supportive or being the person in labor.

And in a way it's just words, but if DH ever claimed to have been in labor, there would be words had.

ThePeoplesChamp Thu 03-Nov-16 17:14:28

What a simpering, spotlight seeking wanker. Yeah I guess he IS excited like any bloke, but should have the sense to know that trying to get in on a bit of shared labour glory is taking the piss.

Perhaps his wife could kick the simpering twat in the balls while wearing retro iceskates for ....I dunno..... 36 hours to ensure the experience is truly felt?

Maybe she could trawl the shops for a little card from Hallmark 'wishing US a speedy recovery OUR gonad obliteration'

Twat, can't he just say he's proud of her and leave it at that. (yes, I am pregnant)

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