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14 year old dd wants to do something

(38 Posts)
marvelousdcomics Tue 01-Nov-16 18:14:53

And she's not sure what.

I already have a thread detailing 5 FTM students at her school and their homophobic bullying towards her, and her gender-critical feminist views. I've shown her the Spartacus threads and some other stuff, and she completely agrees with everything and is extremely passionate about the topic. She really wants to do something, anything, to make people see the 'trans trend' for what it is. It's taking over her life and damaging her friendships.

We have agreed to send the letter template from another thread to our local MP, so that could be an option, but would anyone listen to a 14 year old? She really really wants to help the cause.

Also, on my other thread, some people said she shouldn't have said 'i wouldn't date a transwoman purely because I'm a lesbian and transwomen are biologically male' for which she got insulted for by her apparent friends, because it could be viewed as transphobic and may get her excluded from LGBTQ+ groups. I do understand this and dd already said she doesn't fit in with these groups, but isn't dd right to challenge what so many people are afraid to??

Any opinions welcome, thank you.

marvelousdcomics Tue 01-Nov-16 18:38:21


ThatStewie Tue 01-Nov-16 18:41:05

Has she thought of anonymously blogging her experiences? There are a lot of young women who feel similar and blogging/ Tumblr can help find them.

marvelousdcomics Tue 01-Nov-16 18:47:32

That's actually a great idea! I think she'd like that. Thank you.

Any more ideas/opinions welcome

PerspicaciaTick Tue 01-Nov-16 18:50:31

If you are OK with some swearing, she might find Magdalen Bern's YouTube channel worth watching.
However, this topic is very inflammatory and your DD is already suffering. It may be that the best place for her to campaign is to see if she can push the school authorities to stamp out bullying and do some clear communicating with students around the difference between sex and gender...if she can blog great, but I do worry that she could become a target for some very unpleasant people if she becomes a public figure...and she is still young and vulnerable.

marvelousdcomics Tue 01-Nov-16 18:55:51

Perspicacia, funny you mentioned Magdalen Burns - dd loves her!

I agree with you about becoming a public figure, and I've told her so. If she were to blog I would make it anonymous for her own safety.

She is also campaigning at school with a small group of friends about the idea they have of gender and its potential damage to vulnerable people.

Thank you for replies so far

Felascloak Tue 01-Nov-16 18:57:12

Being an out and proud GNC lesbian in LGBT groups could be enough. She doesn't have to get into debates about her terfitude grin but just being there as a role model might help other girls see that there are options other than trans.

marvelousdcomics Tue 01-Nov-16 19:00:40

Felas, I know that but she loves a good debate grin To be fair, she got dragged involuntarily into the last one and was on the receiving end of vile insults. I agree with her being a role model - thank you for the idea

FloraFox Tue 01-Nov-16 19:08:53

She could contact Stephanie from transgendertrend. Even if she does not want to Ben publicly involved, sharing her story could help.

venusinscorpio Tue 01-Nov-16 19:11:21

Maybe suggest that she also sends the MP's letter to Maria Miller and Justine Greening too?

steppinstone Tue 01-Nov-16 19:12:20

That's tough for her but good luck. Blogging is good. I think we need more gender critical young voices. She's going to get a lot of stick though.

Maybe encourage her to do Women's Studies or get into women's literature? Start her off on that to expand her mind and maybe look at Fawcett Society etc. get interested in wider issues. This one might be tough to put her head above the parapet on.

VestalVirgin Tue 01-Nov-16 19:27:50

With a blog ... yes, make it anonymous, but also moderate the comments. If you allow them at all.

The internet can be a dangerous place, too.

It might be best to invest in some expert knowledge regarding web anonymity. Disguising your IP and stuff.

That may sound paranoid, but there are some really vile people out there.

RiverTam Tue 01-Nov-16 19:35:43

Tumblr is trans crntral, though, isn't it? She may well get a lot of unpleasant vitriol thrown her way if she blogs on there!

marvelousdcomics Tue 01-Nov-16 19:37:53

Flora, that's a good idea - thank you.

Thanks Venus smile I think she will

Thank you steppin. She loves researching new things so that would be good.

Thanks Vestal. I will be careful before making a blog or anything.

Does anyone know of any good blogging websites just for future reference?
Thank you everyone

IminaPickle Tue 01-Nov-16 19:41:25

Honestly. For her safety and sanity, I'd advise her to keep her head down. sad

marvelousdcomics Tue 01-Nov-16 19:45:10

Imina, I keep telling her to. I'm worried about her safety and wellbeing. However, shes unlike any teen I've ever met. Shes so passionate, so insistent. She wont quit with anything she puts her mind to. She says 'im not going to be silenced like everyone else. I have to stand up for everything I believe in otherwise id have to go along with it and be a hypocrite.' sad I am terribly worried for her, I truly am

Felascloak Tue 01-Nov-16 20:19:42

Aw bless her. She sounds amazing. Tell her never to lose that passion.
I am not a lesbian but have heard younger lesbians say that finding older lesbians and understanding more about lesbian culture (especially butch culture) has really helped them feel supported. Could she join a radfem group and maybe get some support and ideas from action as part of a group? It might be safer for her.

marvelousdcomics Tue 01-Nov-16 20:28:09

Thank you Felas smile That's a good idea about finding/joining a group. She'd love it, I'll have a look around. Thank you.

venusinscorpio Tue 01-Nov-16 21:00:25

I think she sounds awesome flowers

singingsixpence82 Tue 01-Nov-16 21:54:18

Good on your daughter! We need young people saying these things. And so sorry for what she's been through with regard to the homophobic bullying. Where is your other thread incidentally?

LRDtheFeministDragon Tue 01-Nov-16 22:06:55

Good on your DD.

I don't think I have anything else to say, but I do think it isn't impossible to find people who do not think it is TERFy to state you're not attracted to male genitalia. I have a very good friend who identifies as non-binary, and who would agree with me strongly on this. We are both in our 30s and both of us work with students in their late teens/early 20s, and I think we are consciously responding to seeing a lot of anger and throwing around of insults in those groups.

So, it is worth knowing that within LGBT groups, and non-binary/trans groups, there are people who would perfectly well understand your DD's sexuality, and would respect it.

PoisonWitch Tue 01-Nov-16 22:42:50

There is a radfem collective social weekend in February. I know people going to it. Perhaps you two could go together. You can find the details with a quick Google.

Clonakilty Tue 01-Nov-16 23:31:06

Are you in London? It sounds as though your DD wants to take action; My DD is very similarly minded. She and I are attending Reclaim The Night.

LassWiTheDelicateAir Wed 02-Nov-16 00:36:07

There's a thread in Activism about Reclaim the Night 2016.

Reclaim the Night 2016, when and where | Mumsnet Discussion

Prawnofthepatriarchy Wed 02-Nov-16 07:50:30

I remember being fired up by feminism at 14. It's an amazing age. Good for her! star

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