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Do women use certain terms to 'shame' certain types of men?

(640 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

Enzouk Fri 14-Oct-16 23:58:33

Just wondering about female perspectives on this. I increasingly hear women calling guys 'creepy' as a shaming tactic..generally I think that the women doing so do it only if they don't find the man attractive. Where as they will pander to a guy who is physically attractive to thrm they will hate on a guy who acts the exact same way who physically is not attractive to them. I have seen women do it in front of groups of friends in a sort of 'lets put this guy in his place' way. Thoughts? And what do you think of women who do this?

Also, i suppose on similar lines...are women more shallow than men with regards to physical attraction?

Enzouk Sat 15-Oct-16 00:00:53

Oh and i should probably note that something i saw earlier made me think about this..which i might post in a bit.

Xenophile Sat 15-Oct-16 00:03:56

Oh, do please tell us what it was that you saw earlier, it will help us all to formulate a coherent response on whether or not it was creepy

JenLindleyShitMom Sat 15-Oct-16 00:06:07

You sound like a guy I know who uses the term "friend zone" a lot.

EnthusiasmDisturbed Sat 15-Oct-16 00:06:17

Receiving unwanted attention can be intimidating amd can be discribed as creepy

Sometimes for some reason no matter how attractive a man is there is something that makes you wary and feel creeped out

And any man who is pestering a women and ignoring the fact she is not wanting his attention is a creep

Why shouldn't women speak out when a man is bothering them we are not hanging about waiting for male attention

Enzouk Sat 15-Oct-16 00:07:25

Well i want opinions first on whether you have seen what i see...

I.e. the halo affect in action where women will treat the actions of a 'good looking' guy completely different to the actions of another guy.

EnthusiasmDisturbed Sat 15-Oct-16 00:09:47

Maybe what you are missing is the good looking guy (who you assume the women find attractive) is showing the women in the group respect and that not so good looking guy isn't

The subtle signs that you might not be picking up on

Xenophile Sat 15-Oct-16 00:10:04

Nope, I am indifferent to the actions of men unless they are deliberately encroaching on my personal space whether they look like the north end of a cow heading south or resemble Cary Grant at his most delectable.

JenLindleyShitMom Sat 15-Oct-16 00:10:05

Do you find yourself nodding in agreement with the phrase "nice guys finish last"?

Xenophile Sat 15-Oct-16 00:11:44

I'm waiting for the feminazi comments to be fair...

Enzouk Sat 15-Oct-16 00:12:35

Ok i'm talking as simple as a guy approaching a group of girls on a night out politely, saying hello etc...unattractive guy or even average guy getting mocked, ridiculed for trying..even called 'creepy'. Attractive guy welcomed ...among other things. As someone who has been extremely sociable over the years in bars and clubs i've seen it a lot with different friend groups. I've also seen it in the workplace... The attractive guy being welcomed, flirted with (sometimes unappropriately...the girls being the 'creepy ones if you like' etc etc)...but the less attractive guy being gossiped about, called creepy etc..

I think 'creepy' has become consciously adjusted fo be used as a shaming tactic more than anything...certainly more than to describe a woman feeling scared of a man.

dovesong Sat 15-Oct-16 00:12:46

There is obviously a difference between a man paying a woman attention that is reciprocated because she's attracted to him, and a man giving a woman too much unwanted attention and not picking up on her vibe that she doesn't want to talk to him. The latter is creepy.

Remember that women tend to instantly have their hackles up when they are approached by men. When men are approached by women, their instinct is generally to be happy because they might "get lucky" or whatever. When women are approached by men, their instinct is to work out as quickly as possible whether or not he's safe and if she's safe around him. Saying a man is creepy is basically saying "I didn't feel safe around him". We pay attention to our instincts because we must. Our safety is more important to us than the fragility of men's feelings.

MagikarpetRide Sat 15-Oct-16 00:13:35

What enthusiasm said.

I've heard friendzone applied both ways.

And why shouldn't women apply different actions when they fancy someone to when they don't?

BabooshkaKate Sat 15-Oct-16 00:13:37

Ah someone has been reading up on PUA theory.

Enzouk Sat 15-Oct-16 00:15:57

No..i'm being misunderstood a bit here. I'm not talking about a mann approaching a woman in some unsafe environment where she might feel threatened. I'm talking normal social situations.

WhoKnewSeamus Sat 15-Oct-16 00:17:08

The only 'derogatory' term I use is manchild, which isn't derogatory just accurate for 97% of the men I unfortunately meet.
And dependent on looks.

BabooshkaKate Sat 15-Oct-16 00:17:09

EVERY situation is potentially threatening lmfao.

WhoKnewSeamus Sat 15-Oct-16 00:17:56

Actually that's a lie. I call ex all sorts. Wank bucket cheese wipe springs to mind.

Laniakea Sat 15-Oct-16 00:17:56

women don't actually owe men attention! These creepy men often seem to think that being 'polite' gives them an automatic right to sex.

What is strange about women wanting to spend time/flirt with someone they are attracted to rather than someone they aren't? hmm

DoesAnyoneReadTheseThings Sat 15-Oct-16 00:18:09

Women often feel threatened in 'normal social situations'.

dovesong Sat 15-Oct-16 00:18:28

those social situations can become dangerous for women very easily.

'Novelist Margaret Atwood writes that when she asked a male friend why men feel threatened by women, he answered, “They are afraid women will laugh at them.” When she asked a group of women why they feel threatened by men, they said, “We’re afraid of being killed.”'

That's it. That's all.

Enzouk Sat 15-Oct-16 00:18:28

This is the sort of thing I am talking about...please read.

www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-3100495/The-Don-Draper-effect-good-looking-men-away-bad-behaviour.html

WhoKnewSeamus Sat 15-Oct-16 00:19:12

Not dependent on looks I mean!

JenLindleyShitMom Sat 15-Oct-16 00:19:55

No..i'm being misunderstood a bit here.

No, everyone understands you perfectly.

WhoKnewSeamus Sat 15-Oct-16 00:19:58

Poor men. If only the same applied to people hey hmm

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