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Can you help find counselling for a trans young adult

(22 Posts)
RufusTheSpartacusReindeer Fri 07-Oct-16 18:07:03

Sorry but i know some of you can help with this

I have been lurking on many threads and was talking to a friend whose daughter wants to trans

My friend is very concerned that she is not getting any counselling and it getting all of her information from very biased websites

I remember hearing from a number of posters in the feminist board about counselling services/website which are a bit more balanced

But i have no idea on what threads these links were, i do remember a particular poster whose child is transing who had some very insightful/helpful posts

I have said that i will try and find her the relevant information but cant remember what threads they are on

Child is 18

Felascloak Fri 07-Oct-16 18:11:04

I don't think many counsellors will be "out" if they are gender critical. And the daughter may be very resistant. But maybe the linked site could suggest someone.

Comejointhemurder Fri 07-Oct-16 18:11:20

18 isn't a child - that's the cut off for adult services.

LyndaNotLinda Fri 07-Oct-16 18:14:04 is a good site for information.

Comejointhemurder Fri 07-Oct-16 18:14:19

Sorry - post cut off. That means the adult aged 18 can access any adult services without parental involvement.

RufusTheSpartacusReindeer Fri 07-Oct-16 18:20:47

Thanks come i realise she is an adult but the mum while supportive would like to recommend some websites or counselling, just another side really

At the moment 'clare' has just seen her doctor and has put on the waiting list for surgery

Thank yiu for the links fela and come (love your name come that from one of my favourite tv shows i wonder)

RufusTheSpartacusReindeer Fri 07-Oct-16 18:24:15


Thanks for the link lynda

Whats wrong with me !!!!


Comejointhemurder Fri 07-Oct-16 19:18:17

Rufus- I think my NN may indeed come from one of your favourite shows grin

GiddyGiddyGoat Fri 07-Oct-16 19:21:59

Have a lot here - it's a centre of clinical excellence in this area.


GiddyGiddyGoat Fri 07-Oct-16 19:23:52

LOOK, not lot. it's for 0-18. When is she 19?

LyndaNotLinda Fri 07-Oct-16 19:24:41

Lynda ... Come ... same difference wink

RufusTheSpartacusReindeer Fri 07-Oct-16 19:30:00

Thank you giddy

I think she turns 19 april/may time

RufusTheSpartacusReindeer Fri 07-Oct-16 19:30:35

No lynda

Its wrong...very, very wrong

Bad rufus

RufusTheSpartacusReindeer Fri 07-Oct-16 19:30:58

One bonus is that i spelt lynda right

FirstShinyRobe Fri 07-Oct-16 19:36:27

Tbh, I would suggest more Feminism (it is often the answer smile)

Delusions of Gender, for example. Or Dworkin. I think it's vital for women wishing to transition to understand that being unhappy with the social roles set out by society makes you a feminist, not a man.

RufusTheSpartacusReindeer Fri 07-Oct-16 19:42:27

Thanks first

Good idea and definitely worth a try, might give my friend some arguments

Cisoff Sat 08-Oct-16 01:09:07

here is another trans questioning site

YetAnotherSpartacus Sat 08-Oct-16 08:19:53

Rufus - I have a few random suggestions.

First, I am guessing that the young woman is same-sex attracted? (Just a guess). I don't know of any women wanting to trans who also want to have sex with men?

In that case, I'd suggest that the mother focus on finding her counselling for acceptance of this. I'm wondering if she can connect with any lesbian groups on the internet or in her local area who might suggest a counsellor who is trans-sceptical but has experience in counselling lesbian women? Maybe someone here has networks they can prod for suggestions?

Maybe the mother can also suggest she connect with young lesbian groups in her area? Finding young lesbian friends might give her a more supportive peer group.

Also, the mother could help her connect with lesbian culture? I don't know much about this anymore - I used to be connected a couple of decades ago when there was an observable culture around particular writers and music artists, etc. KD Lang comes to mind, of course, but I bet there are more recent ones.

I'm also wondering about general body positivity stuff?

Anyway - these are just suggestions...

RufusTheSpartacusReindeer Sat 08-Oct-16 12:00:28

Thank you very much cis

Thanks yet, mum told me that 'clare' is saying she is asexual. However my sons femal friend was asexual and is now dating a girl so it maybe similar

I will certainly pass those suggestions on, good one about the lesbian group...worth thinking about

AgeingArtemis Sun 09-Oct-16 00:31:50

yet another

I was a young woman considering becoming ftt, but I am and always was attracted to men. Part of the confusion came from a complete absence of visible masculine straight women. I felt like either you are a buqnch lesbian or you must be trans...

Not saying that is at all the case with this person (in fact on balance of probability you are probably right) but masculine woman =/= lesbian

RufusTheSpartacusReindeer Sun 09-Oct-16 10:20:51

Thats interesting ageing

Thank you

YetAnotherSpartacus Tue 11-Oct-16 13:25:45

Sorry - had limited internet access. I hope that Clare is able to find someone to help her. I do get 'asexual', and fully accept that some people simply have no interest in sex - not now, not ever. The declaration of 'asexuality' can also, however, signal something deeper that may be happening or has happened to this young woman...

Whatever the story is I hope that she received help other than simply being put on the waitlist for surgery.

I do think it is worth trying to find a counsellor who is adept at dealing with identity issues and any underlying issues as well.

That's an interesting story Ageing Artemis - and another that deserves to be told. If only we could find a space, place and way to tell all these stories so that others may read and learn ...

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