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Feminism: Sex & gender discussions

Man cleared of rape after having sex with a woman who thought he was someone else

515 replies

Felascloak · 14/05/2016 14:29

metro.co.uk/2016/05/12/woman-realised-she-was-having-sex-with-wrong-man-so-accused-him-of-rape-5876504/

I feel really bad for this woman (although I think if I was on the jury I probably would have thought there was a chance he believed he had consent). The headline implies she was unreasonably upset when she found the person having sex with her wasn't who she thought and so "falsely accused" him. Poor woman probably feels totally violated.
Also, what kind of man shags a woman who's gone home with a different guy, when that guy has just left the room for a minute. Ugh. He says he didn't even want to Confused

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Felascloak · 14/05/2016 14:30
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BombadierFritz · 14/05/2016 14:31

There was a different case in the papers on the same day - it reminded me of this case

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BombadierFritz · 14/05/2016 14:34
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Felascloak · 14/05/2016 14:38

Haha the first link I found to the original story was the DM. No fucking way was I using that one!
I read the other story too. As he pleaded not guilty, would love to know his defence. The absolute knob.

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Felascloak · 14/05/2016 14:42

In the Sun link, its the ultimate in objectification really, that he didn't see it as rape because the intent was to stop his mate having sex with her not for him to have sex with her. Because god forbid she should have the final say in who she has sex with (that's the same as the first story actually). I don't know if becoming more feminist as I grow older is affecting the way I see things, but I really feel like society is going backwards with how it views women's role in sex. Sex seems to be viewed as something that is done to women, and they are passive in it. Huh.

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chanice · 14/05/2016 14:47

There are two different stories I think they have been muddled up. One was found guilty one wasn't.

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BombadierFritz · 14/05/2016 15:07

Well its tricky what to say really, as the guy in the first case was found not guilty. I saw a certain similarity thats all

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Felascloak · 14/05/2016 15:55

Yes me too fritz

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VestalVirgin · 14/05/2016 19:39

Makes me think of the thread on MN where a woman was raped by her own husband ... she asked him to use a condom, he didn't. Would probably not stand a chance in court, too.

It seems that if a woman wants to have a chance to have the men who rape her punished, her best chance is not to consent to sex with men, ever.

I would suggest a worldwide sex strike for a year or so, to make men understand that the law needs to be updated, asap ... if I had any hopes of mobilizing enough women.

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TheSolitaryBoojum · 14/05/2016 19:59

Presumably it seemed that she was giving enthusiastic consent, and that as the two men were very different, she knew that Sam Obeghe was not Zack Garrigan.
Hence the not guilty of rape verdict.

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Felascloak · 14/05/2016 20:02

I think so thesolitary or at the least he could have reasonably believed that to be the case.
However I think a woman, pissed, who's gone to bed with someone who's momentarily left the room to get via grateful could easily think the man who got into bed with her was the man who'd just left the room and not someone else.
Also it's just icky that the guy involved thought nothing of having sex with her I'm those circumstances Confused

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Felascloak · 14/05/2016 20:04

I don't think it's fair to say she "falsely accused him" as if she was being vindictive in this case. She obviously didn't consent, he believed she did though which means he's not guilty of rape
Horrible for her though

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StealthPolarBear · 14/05/2016 20:05

I really don't understand this. I understand why she had sex with him but why was he having sex with her?

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TheSolitaryBoojum · 14/05/2016 20:05

I agree, the whole thing sounds a horrible situation to be in.

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BombadierFritz · 14/05/2016 20:08

What do some men think of women, to genuinely believe she consented!

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TheSolitaryBoojum · 14/05/2016 20:11

That she was a woman who wanted sex?
Hence the enthusiastic consent.

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StealthPolarBear · 14/05/2016 20:12

Bu her boyfriend was off getting viagra (which I find bizarre for other reasons ). Why would he assume she was happy to have sex with him.
I suppose if the idea she'd got them mixed up never even crossed his mind then that's a reasonable assumption but just seems so odd.

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DixieNormas · 14/05/2016 20:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scallopsrgreat · 14/05/2016 20:54

I want sex. Does that make it OK for all men to assume they can have sex with me?

It's the old premise that a woman who wants sex with one man is happy to have sex with another Hmm.

There is no way he could have thought she had consented to him other than in his own twisted little head. He knew exactly what he was doing.

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BombadierFritz · 14/05/2016 21:07

Exactly
She wanted sex
She wasnt bothered about with who

Who thinks that???

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Felascloak · 14/05/2016 21:11

Yep quite.
That's why I'm uncomfortable with it. I too think he's not guilty because of the beyond all reasonable doubt thing. But the fact he thought she was happy to have sex with him in those circumstances is bizarre.
Mr cock blocker obviously gave no thought whatsoever to his victim

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BombadierFritz · 14/05/2016 21:15

That mr cockblocker actually used that as his defense is even more baffling

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StealthPolarBear · 14/05/2016 23:34

Yes its ched Evansey isn't t
will this get deleted
ok

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BombadierFritz · 14/05/2016 23:48

Yup

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Italiangreyhound · 15/05/2016 00:07

Bloody hell. That first story is really stupid, he must have known she was not interested in sex with him, she was saying the other man's name!

The second story is just horrendous.

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