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Annoyed and I want to complain...

(67 Posts)
MrsTerryPratchett Fri 22-Apr-16 00:58:37

I was presenting today to some new Syrian immigrants (I live in Canada). Two days on tendencies, renting here and how to avoid problems. It was all going pretty well; one day done. Day two and I'm just starting to talk about the law surrounding tenancies. When I am interrupted, rudely. Not by one of the Syrian refugees, but by one of the male housekeeping staff in the hotel they are staying in. He wanted to give some 'helpful' advice.

Now, I don't like to blow my own... but I'm a pretty good facilitator and I know a shit load about tenancy law. More, it was quite obvious, than he did.

Why did he feel the need to interrupt? There was a fucking PowerPoint FFS. It was clearly not just a chat. And part of me is also pissed off because the Syrians were sitting men in the front row and women in the back (mostly) but were listening to and engaging with me and my colleague, both women. This is part of their introduction to Canada and Canadian culture and some dingbat chose to behave as if a brief mansplain is more important than anything I have to say.

Am I right to be so annoyed?

Akire Fri 22-Apr-16 01:02:33

What! I'd have him fired! You /your company are hiring space in hotel in middle of presentation and a member of hotel staff tries to butt in!! Bad enough if was conversation middle of work nooooo. Complain. Loudly.

ThumbWitchesAbroad Fri 22-Apr-16 01:07:14

What the fuck did he think he was doing?!
Definitely complain about his attitude. Bloody cheek.

KindDogsTail Fri 22-Apr-16 01:11:23

Yes you are right to be annoyed. That was extremely rude.

MrsTerryPratchett Fri 22-Apr-16 01:19:38

I was donating my time and the hotel was donating space and AV. All so the newcomers have successful transitions here. Thank goodness my interpreter was great and rolled his eyes. I can't work out why some random thinks he would know more than someone whose job it is to know about tenancy law.

VertigoNun Fri 22-Apr-16 06:16:47

You were right to be annoyed.

LumpySpacedPrincess Fri 22-Apr-16 07:35:09

He was mansplaining, pure and simple.

VestalVirgin Fri 22-Apr-16 10:49:51

This is part of their introduction to Canada and Canadian culture and some dingbat chose to behave as if a brief mansplain is more important than anything I have to say.

Thereby educating the immigrants on the fact that Canadia is still a patriarchy and it is completely acceptable to treat women like shit as long as one is clever enough to not be too obvious about it.

... information which sure will be useful for the immigrant men.

You are totally right to be annoyed.

I bet that mansplainer is also one of those who, if an immigrant misbehaves, will blame it on the misogynistic cultural background of the immigrant instead of acknowledging that he has shown them how being a misogynist is totes acceptable.

MrsTerryPratchett Fri 22-Apr-16 16:06:25

I bet you're right Vestal. It's bloody depressing. I think the older I get the more I notice this crap. I don't know if it happens more or I just think now I'm in my 40s and a manager and an expert, it might be nice to feel like I have a small amount of power. I still felt like an angry 20 year old student.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Fri 22-Apr-16 19:16:07

I would be apoplectic and would have asked him for a word outside. Then I would have given him the hairdryer treatment.

Then, at a time of my choosing I would have complained to his manager too. Totally not on.

booklooker Sat 23-Apr-16 01:28:22

* mansplain* is a really nasty and sexist term.

I teach in an otherwise lovely school, and yet the attitude of the management level is appalling They are all female. The interrupt bit has got to the point where one of our councillors left the school, we miss her badly

I do not draw any conclusions upon all females.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Sat 23-Apr-16 01:29:42


MrsTerryPratchett Sat 23-Apr-16 02:41:38

Who's a what now?

booklooker Sat 23-Apr-16 02:55:15

Who's a what now?

I'm not very good at riddles.

MrsTerryPratchett Sat 23-Apr-16 03:06:05

We needed a term for perfectly expert and professional women being interrupted and talked over by ill-informed men. Something that my perfectly expert and professional DH informs me does not happen to him.

He said that the idea that a female housekeeping staff member would interrupt a presentation he was facilitating was like unicorns and fairies; a fantasy. It doesn't happen. Hence the term, 'mansplain'.

It's also a studied phenomenon.

KindDogsTail Sun 24-Apr-16 13:01:25

In the wake of the recent events in Brussels on the radio news, the male interviewer
was speaking to an extremely articulate, educated and reasonable young Muslim woman there. She tried to give lucid answers to what he asked but kept being interrupted by him and he kept repeating questions she had just answered as though her original answers had not existed.

It was appalling. I wish I has written to the BBC radio news.

NeverEverAnythingEver Sun 24-Apr-16 17:05:59

"mansplain is a really nasty and sexist term."

Mansplain is a really nasty and sexist act.


HairyLittlePoet Sun 24-Apr-16 23:57:13

I'm going to go out on a limb and take a wild guess that the poster who popped onto a thread in feminism chat to tell all the women they are wrong about the phenomenon of mansplaining (with a side order of the dreadfulness of a female management team)... a man.

With a self-awareness deficiency.


Polidori Thu 28-Apr-16 18:57:38

I do not draw any conclusions upon all females

Well, booklooker, you've successfully derailed the thread and then run away from the question about yourself. Ho hum.

What is the significance of your comment quoted above? Are you under the impression that people who use the term "mansplain" draw conclusions about all men?

booklooker Thu 05-May-16 20:00:16

I'm going to go out on a limb and take a wild guess that the poster who popped onto a thread in feminism chat to tell all the women they are wrong about the phenomenon of mansplaining (with a side order of the dreadfulness of a female management team) a man.

Bang to rights, you got me there missus. It's a fair cop and I confess that I am a bloke.

I am also over 55
I am also a father to two fantastic teen daughters
I am also a teacher
I am also a Labour voter
I am also white British
I am also an admirer of the OP's posts elsewhere.

Which into which one of those compartments would you best like to put me? Which is the important one for you when you judge?

The OP's first post described an awful intervention by a very unprofessional member of the hotel staff, my impression from the subsequent replies was that 'this is what men do' because they 'mansplain'.

It's not nec because they are men, just that they have too little empathy and tact, but too much self righteousness. They are also grown up bullies.

OddBoots Thu 05-May-16 20:11:35

The subsequent replies are because the vast majority of us have experienced this, it is part of our lives and it needs naming so it can be dealt with.

Not all men talk over women, some women talk over men but experience has shown us that it is far, far, far more likely that man will (unfettered by his own ignorance in relation to the woman talking) decide he is the one who should be listened to.

We are not going to start qualifying our discussions with 'not all men' when we are posting in a feminism section of a website.

booklooker Thu 05-May-16 20:12:57

Why not?

DianaTrent Thu 05-May-16 21:02:53

Probably because it was completely obvious to all of us which subset of men was being referred to and padding the post with caveats to spare the feelings of people looking in who for some reason took it personally is a totally unnecessary derailment. Women are very used to being treated as inferior and ignorant because of our sex. You'd do your daughters a huge favour by paying attention to examples of this kind of shitty behaviour that they are going to face in their adult lives so that when they complain about it to you, you don't feel the need to minimise the experience and talk all over them demanding they state that not all men are like that before they're allowed to talk about how being treated as if they couldn't possibly know anything important because they're 'just' women makes them feel.

Yes, MrsTerry, you were completely right to be so annoyed.

booklooker Thu 05-May-16 21:58:57

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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