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AIBU to see sexism wherever I go

(127 Posts)
FedUpWithJudgementalPeople Fri 04-Mar-16 17:37:31

My gym: all these massive muscle men don't bother to tidy their massive weights away. This annoys me because I want to use the weight bar but I'd struggle to get their massive weights off it. Instead of thinking that the guys who do this are just inconsiderate twats I've started to seethe about male entitlement. These guys assume anyone using the weight bar will be big massive men like them and therefore don't give a second thought to smaller lighter people ie mostly women who might want to use them.

I think it's sexism and inherent male entitlement but my friends says I am over thinking it and BU.

Thelilywhite Fri 04-Mar-16 18:00:32

Believe me fedup you are not over thinking it. Exactly the same thing happens in my gym in the weights area. They never wipe their sweat off the machines or mats they use either. I wish there were women only sessions. .

BarefootAcrossHotLegoPieces Fri 04-Mar-16 18:30:25

YANBU. Ask gym staff to put up a notice about breaking weights down?

PalmerViolet Fri 04-Mar-16 19:24:03

It's gym etiquette to take weights off bars unless you're training with someone who's going to use them straight after you.

Always has been.

BarefootAcrossHotLegoPieces Fri 04-Mar-16 19:26:59

Is it?

<wuss who uses hand weights>

But a sign or other reminder couldn't hurt, could it?

itllallbefine Fri 04-Mar-16 20:58:20

groan, and they should put the seat down as well etc. I think there is a difference between thoughtlessness and sexism don't you ?

FedUpWithJudgementalPeople Fri 04-Mar-16 21:09:00

But the point is, it is difficult for me to physically rectify the situation.

I can easily put down a loo seat so it doesn't bother me so much.

I think by leaving the weights there these fuckers are basically thinking it's only men who lift the bar. As a man (probably) would be able to take the weights off. It's like it doesn't occur to them some smaller people might want to use the bar. Those smaller people could be men or women of course.

But yes, perhaps it is just thoughtlessness, hence the title of my post (so no need for the groaning!!)

There is a sign already but it just gets ignored.

Mide7 Fri 04-Mar-16 21:16:30

People should put their weights away regardless but it's a bit of catch 22 isn't it? Because mainly it is only men who lift ( although that is slowly changing) but more women would lift if things like this didn't happen.

BarefootAcrossHotLegoPieces Fri 04-Mar-16 21:18:52

Is the gym staffed (nearly wrote manned!)? Could staff go and have a reminding word periodically?

Itll, I thought you were pro women developing their strength, as without physical strength they were just asking men for favours?

BertrandRussell Fri 04-Mar-16 21:19:21

Hmm- thoughtlessness or entitlement? Or both?

I think it's all about the assumption, often unconscious, that men's needs and men's wants are just that bit more important than women's. So the loo seat up- because that's how men need it. It's all part of the world being divided into men and not-men, rather than men and women. The next step on from this is the behaviour that is so often written about by women on here- the cup left on the worktop, not put in the dishwasher. The dirty socks on the lid of the laundry basket, not in the basket. That is- again often unconsciously- reinforcing the view that men are just that bit too important to do the whole job, and because women are less important it is for them to do.

itllallbefine Fri 04-Mar-16 21:31:18

aren't you allowed to do things you are entitled to now ?

If men are constantly reminded to think of "the women" and make sure that they leave all equipment in a state that "a woman" could use it, is that not saying that womens needs are special and men must remember them, but by default since men can do at least everything women can, the inverse is not true.

i.e. would it not be simpler to have rules to remind tall people to be thoughtful about small people, rather than men v women ?

BarefootAcrossHotLegoPieces Fri 04-Mar-16 21:35:04

No, itll, it's reminding them to follow the rules that are already there for the benefit of all - tidy up after yourself so that the next person isn't inconvenienced.

FedUpWithJudgementalPeople Fri 04-Mar-16 21:35:06

I am not sure I understand your opening question.

BarefootAcrossHotLegoPieces Fri 04-Mar-16 21:36:52

And the next person may want the bar in a different state for all kinds if reasons, sex, age, height, injury, simply being someone who lifts smaller weights.


FedUpWithJudgementalPeople Fri 04-Mar-16 21:37:12

It's a basic rule of all gyms that you put the stuff away after use.

Merely pointing out that the people who aren't doing that in my gym are men. They assume it's not too much of a problem for the next user to put their weights away, but it is if you only can lift light weights. Generally the people using the lighter weights are women.

itllallbefine Fri 04-Mar-16 21:48:33

barefoot - ??

^ sex, age, height, injury, simply being someone who lifts smaller weights.^

So we should have signs for them all, or just for sex ?

itllallbefine Fri 04-Mar-16 21:50:45

or rather they are not just being sexist are they ? they're ageist, disablist etc, or perhaps just thoughtless.

FedUpWithJudgementalPeople Fri 04-Mar-16 21:53:51

Nobody suggested a gender specific sign.

PalmerViolet Fri 04-Mar-16 21:55:05

No, it's just good gym etiquette, even when I was body building and was lifting far heavier weights than most of the men, I would always remove them from the bar, as would men for me. It's called being thoughtful.

Fedup, you're not being unreasonable at all, I found that many men took the view that little women shouldn't be in their big manly gym. Generally, the men I was training with made sure that other men respected good gym etiquette.

Men who don't tend, ime, to be fuckwits, have shit form and not be all that great at lifting.

BertrandRussell Fri 04-Mar-16 21:57:44

"aren't you allowed to do things you are entitled to now ? "

God, I hate faux ignorance.

itllallbefine Fri 04-Mar-16 22:06:14

...and men obvs.

FedUpWithJudgementalPeople Fri 04-Mar-16 22:10:10

Oh don't be ridiculous.

Are you a man?

Are you a body builder?

Are you a male body builder who leaves the heavy weights on the bar?

If so, hope I've enlightened you on your thoughtlessness.


BertrandRussell Fri 04-Mar-16 22:11:29

Yep. I think boy babies should be taken and put in concentration camps at birt, and trained do manual work. Apart from a few that will be brought up to form a stable of breeding specimens who will be milked of their semen at regular intervals in order to allow women to self inseminate to keep the species going. Don't all feminists think that?

Mide7 Fri 04-Mar-16 22:13:45

"Fedup, you're not being unreasonable at all, I found that many men took the view that little women shouldn't be in their big manly gym. Generally, the men I was training with made sure that other men respected good gym etiquette. "

I disagree with the bit about men not wanting women in their manly gyms. I think there is a lot perceived intimidation in weights areas of gyms but most of the people it there are too busy to pay much attention to anyone else. (Too busy flexing in the mirror and taking pictures for Instagram obviously)

itllallbefine Fri 04-Mar-16 22:17:36

Don't all feminists think that?

No, but some on here sure have enough of a chip on their shoulder to think that men going about their lives without "thinking of the women" all the time, are sexist pigs. So the rest wouldn't actually surprise me all that much.

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