Interested to know what you think

[willowsummers]

Reading some back editions of Spare Rib, I found a letter which really made me stop and think.

To summarise, the gist was that the 'dream wedding' was the domain of the 'plain working class woman, lacking intelligence and looks' (harsh, I know) - middle class women with a career and access to nice clothes and makeup would be less likely to insist on perfection.

Do you think this is true?

In my experience it isn't, but I'm willing to concede it may have been at the time.

[Quoteunquote]

Probably a clumsy attempt to explain the situation that at the time, the wedding would of be the high point of some women's lives, a little like the situation the irish traveller community has now. (see big fat gypsy wedding for frightening attitudes )

I wonder if anyone remembers Shocking Pink the small sister mag aimed at teens of that era.

My friend's mum was one of the original people who set up Spare Rib.

[lorelei9]

OP interested to know the date of the edition?

[willowsummers]

Quite an early one but I am afraid I don't know the exact date

[BertrandRussell]

Doesn't it have the date on the front?

[QueenLaBeefah]

It must be quite an old edition.

Weddings are such a huge business that the perfectionism (and a shit load of cash) seems to be effecting all classes. I think, maybe, this is driven by social media.

[TheCountessofFitzdotterel]

I am rather interested in how it semi-tacitly opposes plain & working class to attractive and middle class. Doesn't it feel snobbish and awful?

[scallopsrgreat]

I'm with Countess. Sounds very snobbish. Was this a letter in response to an article? I'm just wondering when there is so many other aspects of weddings and marriage to analyse from a female perspective why the author would choose to pitch woman against woman?

[FellOutOfBedTwice]

Whilst it's clearly an opinion formed by its time to an extent, I get it. I've known a lot of women become over invested in the perfection of their wedding and almost exclusively those women had very little else going on in terms of education/career etc and their whole focus became the perfection of this one day. The other camp with the emphasis on a perfect wedding- in my experience- are the ones who's relationships were a bit shit and who had something to prove.

[WomanWithAltitude]

The way it's worded sounds horribly snobbish, but it is true to a certain extent that people with less to look forward to in their lives will make a bigger event out of something like a wedding. I've seen it in people I know.

It doesn't just apply to wc women, or 'plain' women, or weddings though.

[redannie118]

Its articles like this that make many women believe you have to be be middle-class and university educated to be a "real" feminist. I grew up very working class and my mum taught me everything about feminism, she was a trade union rep and very typical of the the strong working class women who surrounded me. There is still a massive class divide in feminism and this article is a perfect example.Slightly off-topic but there you go.

[TheCountessofFitzdotterel]

Not off topic at all!

[willowsummers]

I think the point about class divide in feminism is valid and interesting.

Am hunting online for the date and can't find it sorry - I have a feeling it was 1971? Could be wrong though.

[redannie118]

I think the class thing is more of an issue now than it ever has been. Look at what young working class girls have to aspire to now? Make yourself pretty, marry a footballer and have a dream wedding in ok magazine and if youre really lucky you will end up like Cheryl Cole ! When I was a teenager although i attended a rather rough inner city school we were actively encouraged to look at the outside world, join greenpeace or any other charitable organisation and look at the bigger picture. Now access to this info is more accessible than ever with the internet but schools dont encourage it and girls use the internet to post half naked pictures of themselves and rip apart fellow classmates, sisterhood has disappeared. I have a beautiful, clever wonderful dsd who has told me on many occasions that women dont sing or act well and are not funny !!I was brought up to believe I could do anything I set my mind too. Girls now are being brought up to believe if you cant afford higher education your only chance to make a sucess of your life is to marry a rich man, be pretty and have the world be envious of your wedding.We should be teaching these girls that they are worth so much more than one day wearing a pretty dress and a fake smile

[WomanWithAltitude]

The class issue is very much on topic! It illustrates perfectly why many wc women felt excluded by feminism. I find it shocking that Spare Rib considered that ok.