Personal space at work and touchy mctoucherson

[southlondonbaby]

I'm annoyed by my colleague: he started recently and began this habit of touching me on the shoulder. When he asked me something, passing by my chair or saying hello. I know some people are tactile but I've already politely asked him if he would mind not doing it. Gah! I'm going to have to be a feminist killjoy again, aren't i? Anyone else dealt with anything like this? It's not sexual, just bloody annoying, more like a power thing.

[PosieReturningParker]

It's not a feminist thing, imo, although I get your comment.

The other day I watched Peter Tatchel in a debate where another panel member, male, kept touching him... It made me really
Uncomfortable.

I'm proper untactile (sic) and would have to be really rude about it.

My son has OCD and has to touch people back, when he can't he has to touch me!

Perhaps you should pretend you have a compulsion every time he touches you? Maybe like a loud roar?

[BarbarianMum]

I think it becomes a feminist thing because feels he can ignore your wishes regarding your own body. I've had to "warn off" far more touchy feely women than men in the workplace but they've all done me the courtesy of stopping when asked (even though I had a few hurt feelings to deal with).

[PosieReturningParker]

I'm not denying the feminist thing in that way. Meaning that it's a shit thing. Apologies if it came across like I was denying your right to address this from a feminist prospective.

[LassWiTheDelicateAir]

Paris Lees did the same on Question Time recently. Can't remember to whom, he was a UKIPPer or similar. It was quite irritating to watch. It was , I assume, supposed to emphasise her impeccable left wing credentials when he said anything she disagreed with.

[PosieReturningParker]

Paris Lees was mentioned with excitement that night....

I was very underwhelmed, really disliked her.

[IShouldBeSoLurky]

I think it's a feminist thing in that women are less comfortable saying, "Please stop doing that, I don't like it," than men are. My DP had to give a female colleague a telling-off about similar behaviour a few years ago and she stopped straight away, presumably mortified that what she thought was funny/sexy was actually deeply cringy.

[southlondonbaby]

Ha yes Posie I was going to touch him back every time he does it to me... But it could literally become an arms race! Im not anti touch, but he's so presumptuous, I barely know him. I have a massive aversion in general as he talks over me in meetings and is patronising. It did make me realise how uncomfortable I was asking a direct request, Lucky, I didn't want to be 'mean' or cause a problem.