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To thick for feminism?

(85 Posts)
fastingmum123 Mon 18-Jan-16 18:58:09

Ok so to start with I'm interested I believe in equal rights and have been lurking on feminist sites and Twitter feeds for a while. The thing is half the time I feel like i can't be involved as everyone always seems so clever and half the time speak another language with all their turf, cis ect ect talk. If you ask what anything means you get scornful responses telling you to look it up ect and tbh it just puts me off having anything to do with it.

Then there's the other weird side where you get the man haters who are all death to all men and just seem plain crazy. Along with them "man bumped into me said sorry. Sexist bastard" types that just don't make any sense what so ever.

Am I the only one who feels they don't fit in?

PalmerViolet Mon 18-Jan-16 20:01:40

If you're interested in some of the terminology, then there's a feminism101 site that lots of people link to, if you'd be interested?

I think, if I'm right, the "man bumped into me said sorry, sexist bastard" thing, if it's on Twitter is a parody, and yes, there are a very few feminists who do really seem to hate men. We aren't a hive mind, no matter how much some people would like to paint as such.

If you'd like to know anything, I know that all the regular posters on here would probably be happy to either answer any questions you have, or point you in the direction of the answers. Every so often we discuss asking for a sticky to put useful information into, and this is why.

Feel free to ask away.

TheWomanInTheWall Mon 18-Jan-16 20:29:01

Just echoing Palmer.

TERF stands for "trans exclusionary radical feminist" and it is a word used as an insult by some transactivists.

Many trans women and trans men disagree with prominent trans activists.

Cis is a Latin prefix, as is trans. In organic chemistry, cis is used to denote "same side" and trans "opposite side".

So some people use cis to denote those who they consider to have gender identities that are the same as their biological sex. Many others object to being called cis as they do not feel they have a gender identity. Cis is often loosely used to mean a person who is not-trans

TheWomanInTheWall Mon 18-Jan-16 20:30:38

TERF is sometimes used about women who do not consider themselves radical feminists, or even feminists!

BeakyMinder Mon 18-Jan-16 20:51:23

No I'm sure you're not the only one OP.

Feminism means a lot of different things, but amongst other things it's an intellectual movement that moves very, very fast and is always debating and coming up with new ideas. Keeping up with it all is pretty much a full time job. And often seems to mean that feminism = "whatever leftish, PhD-educated women think at the moment".

Personally I love the feminist chat I read on here, and have learnt loads. But I would also like to see a more inclusive feminism that can welcome discussion not expressed in completely up to the minute terms.

WilLiAmHerschel Mon 18-Jan-16 22:00:03

I think the mumsnet boards are a good place to come with questions. Although most of the regular posters here are really knowledgeable, they aren't condescending in my opinion.

I know what you mean about feeling too dumb sometimes. I felt like that when I first really started getting into feminism about 3 years ago. It all makes sense to me know although I tend to avoid sites like Everyday Feminism - I think those are the kind of places that give feminism a bad name. I haven't really come across man-haters, though I'm sure some exist. I think they are in the minority and not what feminism is about.

I will try and find some links I think are interesting and share with you. Will post this first as my phone keeps playing up and I've written this three times now!

WilLiAmHerschel Mon 18-Jan-16 22:00:32

Makes sense to me now*

TheWomanInTheWall Mon 18-Jan-16 22:16:40

Everyday feminism is quite focused on trans issues. Everyday sexism might be better.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

0phelia Mon 18-Jan-16 22:24:04

Specifically what terminology are you struggling with?
Feel free to post your questions here and I'm sure you'll get a sensible reply.

As for "not fitting in" personally, I just avoid twitterers or tumblr accounts that make me feel that way.

WilLiAmHerschel Mon 18-Jan-16 22:27:20 I follow Nimko Ali on Twitter who campaigns to end fgm. Karen Ingala Smith. She has a project called Counting Dead Women. Documenting the women killed at hands of male violence.

Http:// Focus E15. Group local to me. Started by single mothers who fought against being kicked out of their homes. June Eric Udorie. Recently she campaigned to have more women on the Politics A Level syllabus.

Let Toys be Toys And Let Clothes be Clothes - campaign to get rid of gender stereotyping in toys and clothes and let kids be kids.

Sorry if I'm telling you about people and groups you already know. These are people I admire and find interesting. I find when I get bogged down by the theory sometimes it's nice to see activism in action. It can feel really positive and inspiring to see women actually fighting for their rights, and achieving.

WilLiAmHerschel Mon 18-Jan-16 22:29:46

I should also mention I don't fit in anywhere. I'm the most unsociable person I know and I struggle to make basic conversation. I know what it's like to feel intimidated!

TheMouseThatRoared Mon 18-Jan-16 22:35:42

It's not just you op. I can follow a discussion or whatever until words such as 'epistemology' are mentioned.<looking at you Buffy>

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lorelei9 Mon 18-Jan-16 22:39:05

I feel your pain OP
I read a lot of the threads to try to learn but I can't contribute because there's so much terminology to learn and many posts that go over my head

Then I look it up and find I don't understand the explanation or that there are several and I don't know if any are correct....then there are some that are loaded with historic references and I have to look up those...!

TheMouseThatRoared Mon 18-Jan-16 22:40:54

Oh no! I didn't mean it in a negative way!! blush

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

almondpudding Mon 18-Jan-16 22:55:00

I would recommend the Stanford women's health and human rights online course.

Even if you don't do any of the free course, signing up gets you access to a board with feminists from all over the world from 13 up, involved in a huge range of projects.

And there's not really any complicated language.

I found it amazing.

It is enrolling now for a late January start.

PalmerViolet Mon 18-Jan-16 22:57:39

Buffy might be time to resurrect your intro to feminism sticky idea, maybe?

MelindaMay Mon 18-Jan-16 23:00:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MelindaMay Mon 18-Jan-16 23:06:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lorelei9 Mon 18-Jan-16 23:06:52

Melinda, I have no problem being a feminist IRL but on here, I feel very conscious that I don't have the PhD.

It doesn't really matter, I just thought I'd chime in because I know how the OP feels.

PalmerViolet Mon 18-Jan-16 23:14:40

If it helps, I don't have a PhD either, and I just whiffle on... probably not as coherently as Buffy, but I think I have just as much to offer as anyone else.

I've noticed Lorelei that you have made some really great posts, I often find myself nodding along to things you write.

Oswin Mon 18-Jan-16 23:20:13

Tbh I'm not clever at all. No qualifications at all no gcse, a levels anything. I still feel welcome on this feminist board.
On here if you don't know why something means other posters will explain and I've never seen any body be dicks about it.
I do avoid Twitter feminism though. Terrified me after seeing some uni feminist group being vile about older feminists purely for being gender critical.
I would never say anything on trans issues ect on Twitter.
Twitters weird. It's much nicer here.

TheMouseThatRoared Mon 18-Jan-16 23:23:12


I think the sticky idea is good👍

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