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please summarise femism for me?

(28 Posts)
Lovelilies2 Thu 31-Dec-15 22:34:44

My DM is anti- feminist. Thinks we shouldn't be 'trying to be men'. That women who put their careers before their family are stupid.
That 'feminists can't accept we are different' to men.
That women who wear revealing clothes deserve to be groped hmmangry

I'm trying (and failing) to enlighten her, especially for the sake of my DD (10 years) who sitting here too.

My summary is that women shouldn't be treated worse purely because of her gender.

Lovelilies2 Thu 31-Dec-15 22:45:09

Oh good Lord. Now she thinks breastfeeding in public is immodest and shouldn't be done shockconfused

Fwiw I have BF both dcs wherever and whenever I liked...

thatstoast Thu 31-Dec-15 22:57:22

She's probably not going to change her mind. You could speak to your daughter about feminism when your mother isn't around to say silly things.

TheCarpenter Thu 31-Dec-15 22:59:37

I'm a fucking person too.

And that's it for me.

If need be tell her to shut up as women shouldn't have opinions and what makes her think her opinions matter a jot. Tell her to get in the kitchen instead of sitting putting the world to rights

Notrevealingmyidentity Thu 31-Dec-15 23:02:05

What does she think breasts are for ?

PalmerViolet Thu 31-Dec-15 23:13:17

I also think your mother is probably a lost cause.

But, I'd maybe have a chat at an apropos time with your DD about granny's silly old-fashioned views about women. That victim blaming women who are groped is morally repulsive and that the only people guilty in those situations are the men who are doing the groping.

We are different to men, and it's the differences we have that have kept women subjugated from time immemorial.

TooOldForGlitter Fri 01-Jan-16 03:37:31

Are you my sister OP?

I have to be kind when I listen to my mum's views because she's my mum and she loves me and I love her but I hate the idea that it's an age thing. My mum's 71. Some of the finest feminists I know are my mums age and older. Some of the dost misogynistic women I know are young women. It's not an age thing. Upbringing and environment definitely, not age though.

TooOldForGlitter Fri 01-Jan-16 03:37:57


DioneTheDiabolist Fri 01-Jan-16 04:04:15

Women are equal to men.

SocialScourgeWannabe Fri 01-Jan-16 08:49:30

I'm not trying to be men, I'm trying to be me. Isn't that what feminism is about, allowing women to be people first?

Lovelilies2 Fri 01-Jan-16 09:51:15

She's 75, and was born and brought up in Denmark.
She's a lovely old stick though, and has been a brick for me during 2 relationship breakdowns, so I can't be too cross with her. She also brought me up in her own as my dad died when I was a small baby.
Main thing is DD not growing up to think all that nonsense.

jellycake Fri 01-Jan-16 09:58:00

“What is feminism? Simply the belief that women should be as free as men, however nuts, dim, deluded, badly dressed, fat, receding, lazy and smug they might be. Are you a feminist? Hahaha. Of course you are.”
Caitlin Morann*, How to Be a Womann*

jellycake Fri 01-Jan-16 10:00:44

“But, of course, you might be asking yourself, 'Am I a feminist? I might not be. I don't know! I still don't know what it is! I'm too knackered and confused to work it out. That curtain pole really still isn't up! I don't have time to work out if I am a women's libber! There seems to be a lot to it. WHAT DOES IT MEAN?'
I understand.
So here is the quick way of working out if you're a feminist. Put your hand in your pants.

a) Do you have a vagina? and
b) Do you want to be in charge of it?

If you said 'yes' to both, then congratulations! You're a feminist.”
Caitlin Morann*, How to Be a Womann*

“You can tell whether some misogynistic societal pressure is being exerted on women by calmly enquiring, ‘And are the men doing this, as well?’ If they aren’t, chances are you’re dealing with what we strident feminists refer to as ‘some total fucking bullshit’.”
Caitlin Morann*, How to Be a Womann*

My favourite quotes and the things that I try to keep in mind.

tribpot Fri 01-Jan-16 10:05:45

I'd say we aren't trying to be men. We're trying to be women. With all the same opportunities and obligations as men.

But you're wasting your time, really. You need to make sure your dd understand her grandmother's view are old-fashioned and prejudiced. And decidedly not reflected in modern Denmark for sure!

VulcanWoman Fri 01-Jan-16 10:06:06

Your daughter will see what you do so I think that's the most important thing.
Silly nanny.

PassiveAgressiveQueen Fri 01-Jan-16 13:10:30

Your daughter needs to understand that she will meet lovely people everywhere who have stupid wrong headed ideas. She will have to learn to listen to what the other person says.. Think about it, analysis it, is what the other person said true, is it how she wants to live her life, will this hurt many more people than it helps?
I mean some women actually WANT to serve their man, they go out hunting for Masters to care for them etc.

Learning to critically analyses other opinions you hear is a vital life skill (some many people never learn). So everything in life is a learning experience.

PassiveAgressiveQueen Sat 02-Jan-16 00:15:10

Bugger i hate spelling. Sorry

Lovelilies2 Sat 02-Jan-16 09:17:44

Thank you for all your replies.
DD understands that Nana can be a bit bonkers smile

Theydontknowweknowtheyknow Sat 02-Jan-16 09:31:46

"Thinks we shouldn't be 'trying to be men'. "

There's a difference between wanting to be a man and wanting the same rights and freedoms as a man. Your DM has obviously got them confused.

triafemm Sun 03-Jan-16 00:41:29

We're trying to be women. With all the same opportunities and obligations as men. With a cherry on top. And a few extra perks and privileges.

All we have to do is keep convincing everyone we are still "oppressed" and we keep getting those extra perks grin

triafemm Sun 03-Jan-16 00:43:09

Q. Do you feel white British women in Britain today are oppressed?

A. Yes

triafemm Sun 03-Jan-16 00:44:30


There you go. Solid evidence women are still oppressed. Now where's our extra privileges?

UnderTheGreenwoodTree Sun 03-Jan-16 00:46:40

Feminism is the radical notion that women are people.

triafemm Sun 03-Jan-16 00:48:14

really? I thought women were sea-lions. silly me

UnderTheGreenwoodTree Sun 03-Jan-16 00:51:42

I've got your number triafemm.

-posting late at night
-all posts just today and on the Feminism board
-posting a load of old cock

Need I say more than DFOD? grin

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