"Falling" and "accidentally penetrating" somebody is a rape defence now.

[BertieBotts]

WTAF?

www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/i-fell-and-penetrated-her-by-accident-millionaire-rape-suspect-claims-a6767486.html

Hopefully - surely - this will never go down in court, right? How ignorant of basic biology would you need to be, exactly? I've heard of some ridiculous defences to rape before but this really takes the biscuit.

[draemous]

I wouldn't worry about it. I'm sure the jury will have a good giggle if the defence tries pulling that off

[VestalVirgin]

I can remember a cartoon that explained why accidental rape is not something that is possible, and it did so by having a man lose his clothes by accident and fall on a woman - entirely by accident, etc.

It was meant to show how ridiculous the concept is.

And now this ... so the suspect is a millionaire? I fear it might work for him. Men have been declared innocent of rape because of bullshit reasons like "her jeans were so tight he could never have opened them without her help".

[BitchPeas]

What the actual fucking fuck.

If the jury accepts that my faith in humanity will be lost forever.

[EElisavetaOfBelsornia]

Beyond belief. I really, really hope this gets the ridicule it deserves in court, and that his sentence is extended for trying on such a ludicrous defence.

[OneMoreCasualty]

His lawyer said that without laughing?

[BeyondThirty]

What?!

[KP86]

Good grief. If penises can accidentally fall into (sleeping!) vaginas then DH and I have clearly been doing it wrong for years.

[AuntieStella]

I feel rather sorry for his barrister.

[RufusTheReindeer]

Following the consent tv show the other day i sent a fair portion of my time trying to explain to ds1 that its impossible to accidently penetrate someone, and it can be a bit difficult in the throes of passion to get it in at all...

Its not a fucking homing pidgeon

So if this defence succeeds thats going to be another thing that "mum" knows nothing about...

[MaisieDotes]

Ah, that pesky falling over while naked with an erection.

A&E departments are well trained to deal with this common household mishap I believe. Although generally the unfortunate victim falls onto an inanimate object such as a Hoover tube. I mean what are the chances.

[OneFlewOverTheDodosNest]

Rufus I'm so glad that I'm not the only one whose first thought was that!

[BertieBotts]

Oh yes Maisie and all those people leaping naked over their fruit bowl and just accidentally falling onto an apple.

[MephistophelesApprentice]

I'd like to repeat the WTAF.

The fact that someone so evidently devoid of intelligence and morality is a millionaire reemphasises my opinion that capitalism is a grotesquely dysfunctional system.

[ThomasRichard]

I saw the headline on this the other day but as it was in the Torygraph I thought it was made up and didn't read any further. that this is an actual thing.

[BertieBotts]

Memphis: YYY!

[timelytess]

Accidentally? Right.
Draemous - the defence is going to pull it off, now?

[StealthPolarBear]

Let's just hope this crap lie is treated with the disdain it deserves. It's not funny - it's rape.
Let's hope he spends a long while in jail. And no one falls over in his sleeping vicinity.

[OneMoreCasualty]

Draemous is a "visitor", Tess

[timelytess]

Thank you, OneMore.

[LassWiTheDelicateAir]

Oh yes Maisie and all those people leaping naked over their fruit bowl and just accidentally falling onto an apple

EH?

[Heckler]

Lass I think that Bertie is referring to an explanations given in A&E for foreign objects in orifices. Most of them rather, erm, far fetched.

[TheDowagerCuntess]

So if he accidentally fell onto her and penetrated her, one can only assume he was completely mortified, got the hell off her immediately, apologised profusely and made sure she was ok, before leaving her the hell alone? No?

[AuntieStella]

Lass www.amazon.co.uk/Stuck-Up-Inserted-Ingested-Shouldnt/dp/0312680082?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

Unusual objects in orifices is (apparently) always explained by accidental falls.

[PlaysWellWithOthers]

Ah yes, I remember the "explanations" people gave for having all sorts of strange things in strange places. Amazing the numbers of men who suddenly get the urge to do their housework naked when they get their dicks stuck in things, or things stuck in them.

[MaisieDotes]

Yes exactly stella
lass I went to find a link for you last night but had to quickly run away from Google to apply brain bleach.

The point is that the "I fell on it" defence is pretty old and hackneyed.