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Can I be proud of DD here please?!

(83 Posts)
NotTodaySatan Tue 20-Oct-15 11:50:02

It was DD's 7th party last week and it was at hell a soft play.

At the end of the disco the party organiser asked the girls and boys to split into groups to receive their party bags.

DD asked (politely): Excuse me, why are there separate bags for girls and boys?

Party Host: Umm. Because that's just how it is (me: confused).

DD: well it's wrong. Girls might want to play with the toys in the boys bags and boys might want to play with the the toys in the girls bags. It's gender stereotyping.

Party host: Nothing.

Then one of DD's friends, clutching the fashion related toy from her bag said "Boys don't play with fashion toys" with a grimace.

DD: Of course they do. There are lots of male fashion designers. Don't be silly.

I'm proud of her smile.

CrayonShavings Tue 20-Oct-15 12:15:07

I'd be bursting with pride!

BuffytheReasonableFeminist Tue 20-Oct-15 12:21:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cocolepew Tue 20-Oct-15 12:22:47

smile thats great

LaContessaDiPlump Tue 20-Oct-15 12:25:08


She has learned well, that little grasshopper grin

ShowOfHands Tue 20-Oct-15 12:29:39

Good on her! Can I join in?

My dd goes to a C of E school (all the local schools are C of E) and they sometimes go to the church so that the homophobic, prejudiced, misogynistic catsbum of a vicar can preach thinly-veiled hate at them. The teacher happily informs me that during year 2 they went down to the church for a lecture on marriage and christenings and the vicar (the man who petitioned against gay marriage in the village newsletter) was explaining that a marriage is only a marriage in the eyes of God if it takes place between one man and one woman. DD patiently put up her hand and then explained that her aunts were very happily married thank you very much and she didn't think much of a God who judged people who were born a certain way. The teacher had a chat with her later and DD explained that she knows she's right because Tom Robinson agrees with her. Hurrah for her punk heart.

Sorry, I know it's not feminism but it's one in the eye for this ridiculous sort of prejudice being spouted at the next generation.

Roobix04 Tue 20-Oct-15 12:32:31

Satan and Hands what brilliant little girls you have! I hope my dd is half as kind and confident as your two when she's older.

CactusAnnie Tue 20-Oct-15 12:33:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EBearhug Tue 20-Oct-15 12:35:51

Oh, this is good to read! Well done MN daughters!

feetheart Tue 20-Oct-15 12:46:52

Good on both of them, there is hope smile
Can I add mine too please?

DD(12) is getting increasing fed up with her Guide pack and the other week came out positively disgusted. They had being doing some stuff about which 'Little Miss' they would be and why shock. DD had politely refused to do it as she wanted to know why it was all twee Little Miss stuff and the Mr Men were just Mr and could be Strong or Clever etc? In the car on the way home I asked her if we dropped the Little Miss which would she be? "Miss Feminism" was her determined reply and I nearly punched the air in pride grin

Guess who is now planning on joining the Scouts and coming to see Suffragette with me at the weekend?

NotTodaySatan Tue 20-Oct-15 12:49:34

Aw I feel proud of your DDs now too Showy and feet grin.

It really does give me hope for the future to imagine our DDs when they're adults. Not to be messed with!

LaContessaDiPlump Tue 20-Oct-15 12:54:54

I'd like to laud my DS (4.4) for immediately understanding why it would be unfair for me to be paid £6 to do the washing up while daddy would be paid £10 doing the same washing up grin he was still musing on the injustice of it some time later so I hope it has sunk in.....

BertieBotts Tue 20-Oct-15 12:57:41

Love it! smile Well done miniSatan.

tootsietoo Tue 20-Oct-15 13:03:07

Woo hoo!

Sadly I can't think of any specific examples to quote from my DDs right now. However, DD1, at a CofE school, does appear to be very anti religion, and I can only support her in that! She has also decided she wants to play rugby, so no gender stereotypes have wheedled into her brain there.

What feminist books are you planning to push in the direction of your tween/teen DDs? Is there anything out there I need to find?

Bubbletree4 Tue 20-Oct-15 13:11:46

Hmmmmmmm I'm not so sure. I think your dd was a bit rude and precocious. She could have asked you and then you could have taken it up with the management, rather than harassing an underpaid employee who probably had nothing at all to do with the decision/purchasing and who had just hosted a party for your dd.

I would be very embarrassed if either of mine had participated in that exchange. As well as teaching them about gender stereotyping, I've taught them to be grateful when someone does something for them (host a party) and thankful for any gifts offered, regardless of appropriateness.

shovetheholly Tue 20-Oct-15 13:29:21

FFS, a seven year old does not 'harass' anybody! And nor should we be teaching girls to put up with sexism in the name of politeness.

YAY for strong young girls!

BuffytheReasonableFeminist Tue 20-Oct-15 13:31:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pointlessfan Tue 20-Oct-15 13:34:42

These stories have made me smile today, well done to all of them and thanks for sharing. I hope my DD will be the same when she's bigger.

scallopsrgreat Tue 20-Oct-15 13:34:54

She wasn't rude. And precocious is a word that only ever seems to be levelled at girls who should be Put. Back. In. Their. Box.

And people wonder why boys/men have more inner confidence/dominate conversations/learn that their words matter?

scatterthenuns Tue 20-Oct-15 13:40:14

I think your dd was a bit rude and precocious.

No. Agree with pp, precocious is only directed at females. I got called precocious by a manager recently, because I politely disagreed.

Better off teaching our girls to have confidence in their own views, in the same way adult men do.

CactusAnnie Tue 20-Oct-15 14:12:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CrayonShavings Tue 20-Oct-15 16:33:30

My DS is 3, he told me the other day, full of outrage, that someone at nursery had said 'only girls like pink'
He tells me he corrected them grin

PacificMouse Tue 20-Oct-15 16:40:46

can I add my ds for his countless grumbles at me that he can't do what is considered a 'girl sport' (netball)? As well as his grumbles about having boys and girls sports in secondary?

He is also noticing that there are fewer girls in the top sets in maths sad

PacificMouse Tue 20-Oct-15 16:42:33

Tbh the comment of your dd was right it to the point if 'it's gender stereotyping'. Because at that point, she started lecturing and that wasn't appropriate IMO (or rather not in these settings)

VenusInFauxFurs Tue 20-Oct-15 16:52:24

Bubbletree I think saying that OP's daughter was "harassing an underpaid employee" is a bit disingenuous. Part of my DD's job involves running soft play birthday party. She would have been delighted to meet a clever, articulate young feminist like OP's daughter. People who work at soft play places presumably do so because they like kids. My daughter would have probably fist-bumped OP's dd and told me all about all the excellent kid she'd met at work that day.

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