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Are flowers a feminist issue?

(36 Posts)
JoeMommuh Sat 26-Sep-15 13:16:17

Driving fast the florist earlier and this thought popped into my mind. I like flowers in the house (rare treat) they look pretty and nice in their vase...special

My DH buys me flowers for special occasions when he remembers and i'm always happy... but why?? If I bought him flowers he'd be non-plussed.

I cannot think of a SINGLE man who would like to be bought a bunch of flowers for their home. normally this suggests to me gender conditioning by society. But i LIKE flowers... or do i?? i'm now questioning if i actually like them or i'm just told I should like them because i'm a laydee

I'm over thinking aren't i? But why would be never buy a man a bunch of flowers on their birthday?

APlaceOnTheCouch Sat 26-Sep-15 13:20:50

I buy flowers for friends who like flowers whether male or female. I don't buy flowers for people who don't like flowers which in my case is one of my female friends and one of my DSIS. Ditto with candles and chocolates , etc, etc. So, flowers aren't a feminist issue in my experience. HTH

Wadingthroughsoup Sat 26-Sep-15 13:23:13

Hmmmm. I'm erring on the side of conditioning.

I find it a bit annoying to be given flowers because the whole deal with finding the right vase, keeping an eye on them and changing the water etc is a faff which outweighs any enjoyment produced by looking at said flowers.

Also, I feel a bit sad that those flowers have had their lives cut short so that they can sit in a vase in my house. I'd much rather see them in a field or in someone's garden.

It's just one of many hundreds of gender stereotypes: Women like flowers. Women like chocolate but they are always on diets. Women like perfume. Women like shopping. Women enjoy going to the hairdressers and having a manicure...

I am definitely a woman, but none of those statements apply to me. (Oooh, except the chocolate one. I'm never on a diet though).

And Elton John likes flowers apparently so, yeah.

FanSpamTastic Sat 26-Sep-15 13:23:48

I bought sunflowers for my DH for our anniversary because I know he loves sunflowers. He was v happy.

MischiefInTheWind Sat 26-Sep-15 13:24:13

OH and I buy each other flowers at random intervals and have done for years.
I buy flowers for other people occasionally, but I'm more of a plant-giver. smile
I think it is conditioning, but do you ever buy a man a box of chocolates? That used to be purely female territory as well.

AndDeepBreath Sat 26-Sep-15 13:26:02

Hmmm... I'm a woman and I don't like them (or at least I don't like uprooting them from nature as bundles of flowers which die and have to be binned, it's so wasteful).

My DH is the one who keeps all our pot plants alive so maybe he's more likely than me to appreciate some. Maybe I should try it sometime!

peggyundercrackers Sat 26-Sep-15 13:52:44

I don't really like but DH likes them and I buy them for him quite a bit. He likes to spend time in the garden and keeps it and is always buying new plants which flower a lot...

Sorry I think your overthinking it.

APlaceOnTheCouch Sat 26-Sep-15 14:01:04

I was just thinking who was the last person I bought flowers for? It was myself and prior to that, it was a male friend who had been in hospital. At the same time, I sent his wife a bottle of wine.

I didn't think I was subverting stereotypes or cultural conditioning. I was just buying gifts that I thought my friends would enjoy.

PurpleDaisies Sat 26-Sep-15 14:05:29

I buy flowers because I like them. My husband occasionally buys me flowers because he knows I like them. He doesn't particularly like flowers so I buy him chocolates because he likes those.

I think you're over thinking this.

Duckdeamon Sat 26-Sep-15 14:09:41

It is conditioning but not one I mind too much - my DDs will pester DH to buy me flowers if they ever go to the supermarket together.

Some of my Dd's little male friends (age 6/7) seem to comment on and like flowers, indoor and out, so the conditioning must start after that!

DiamondoInTheSky Sat 26-Sep-15 14:13:01

I've bought flowers for a boyfriend before. He liked them and appreciated it.

I think!!!!!

CuttedUpPear Sat 26-Sep-15 14:16:38

I've bought flowers for plenty of chaps in my life and they have always appreciated them.

On the other hand, I don't get bought flowers anything like I hope for, because I'm a professional gardener and apparently that makes me difficult to buy for sad

OddBoots Sat 26-Sep-15 14:17:27

I buy dh flowers, I have since early in our relationship, the first time I had to buy him a vase too though as he didn't own one.

Theydontknowweknowtheyknow Sat 26-Sep-15 14:34:41

DS loves flowers but if we buy them he pretends they are just for me to save his embarrassment.

On the other hand he will proudly carry a pot plant to the till as they fall under the territory of "gardening" not "floristry".

One of the more ridiculous aspects of patriarchal normagegrin

NiNoKuni Sat 26-Sep-15 14:36:44

I bloody hate people buying me flowers. I can't arrange them to save my life and they require so much faff, all for 3-7 days' worth of beauty. I got some right after I'd had a baby and thought 'Great! More things to look after!' ungrateful bastard that I am.

I think it could be a feminist issue in that it's one of those 'all women like all the same things as they're all the same' type tropes. It would be nice to get a gift that takes into account one's personality. But there are other reasons you might get flowers, such as laziness and convenience. And of course, many people do like them.

flowers grin

CarriesBucketOfBlood Sat 26-Sep-15 14:38:33

I know lots of men who like flowers.

I think most people who take pride in their home would like them. I imagine anyone, of either gender, who didn't keep their home ready for 'display' or as a source of enjoyment, wouldn't like them.

APlaceOnTheCouch Sat 26-Sep-15 18:37:30

who didn't keep their home ready for 'display'
This made me grin . My house can be a complete tip but I still like flowers. Sometimes they are the only oasis of calm amidst the crap.

ALassUnparalleled Sat 26-Sep-15 18:40:45

I buy flowers as part of and along with the grocery shopping. I do try to use the local florist but M&S flowers unfortunately have the best life. Their flowers can last for up to 2 weeks and I spend around £40 a fortnight.

Husband doesn't buy flowers when he does the grocery shopping but that's an aversion to the cost not the aesthetics. He likes having flowers in the house. Oddly we don't seem to take them out of the garden.

So far as perfume I wear perfume every day and so does my husband and son. We each buy our own unless it's a gift from duty free when one of us is away. I don't think husband has ever given me perfume for my birthday or Christmas. I expect he thinks it is just stuff I buy like tights or makeup and he would not give me those as presents. I buy Terre de Hermės for my son at Christmas and other random occasions as he can't afford it.

HubertsBirthdayStick Sat 26-Sep-15 18:41:41

I hate flowers, i like plants as they are still alive and growing.
DH however, on anniversarys likes a bunch of flowers and a box of chocolates.

I appreciate he is not the norm.

ALassUnparalleled Sat 26-Sep-15 18:41:51

Sometimes they are the only oasis of calm amidst the crap

That is absolutely one of my reasons for buying flowers.

AnchorDownDeepBreath Sat 26-Sep-15 18:48:23

I don't like flowers, really. I mean, I don't dislike them, but I'm not fussed about them. Maybe because I have hayfever?

I'd rather people sent me food than flowers.

LyndaNotLinda Sat 26-Sep-15 18:55:21

I'm a feminist and I'm single. I buy myself flowers every week because I like them.

I'm a big gardener and I don't have any problem with cut flowers - you have to cut flowers off sweet peas or they stop flowering!

I do try and reduce flower miles though so I buy native grown smile

Umm which doesn't answer your question. Yes, generally men > women but think low down on list of priorities

DontHaveAUsername Sat 26-Sep-15 21:01:24

I think you might be overthinking it here. I don't buy anyone flowers because I don't see what practical use the recipient will have. I always give a box of chocolates or a gift voucher, something that they can tangibly use and benefit from.

ChunkyPickle Sat 26-Sep-15 21:17:36

I like flowers (in the garden or on the table). I love having enough money now that if I find myself at the supermarket I can spend a tenner on flowers and not worry about it. I prefer flowers to chocolates as they're purely there to be pretty, I enjoy that they have absolutely no practical purpose (unlike most other things in the house)

DP has never bought me flowers (for some reason, all my partners have preferred to buy me pot plants - which I feel is missing the point of flowers)

I buy flowers if I'm going somewhere for dinner or something, and I don't know them well enough to buy an actual gift or I don't think an actual gift would be accepted.

I also grow them in the garden, and have pretty flowering bushes - I love looking out and seeing the sunflowers, or scented stocks or cornflowers waving about.

DS1 loves flowers too, DP doesn't really have feelings either way - there were never flowers in the house at home unless I picked bluebells or similar in the woods.

I don't think it's conditioning to like something beautiful (or not like if it's not to your taste) I think perhaps it's conditioning to consider them 'womens things' and therefore beneath your consideration though.

DickDewy Sat 26-Sep-15 21:22:06

I buy dh flowers and vice versa.

He buys me flowers every week, I buy them for him only 5 or 6 times a year.

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