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Feminist Pub XX - may the summer rains wash the patriarchy down the plughole

(984 Posts)
NoTechnologicalBreakdown Fri 07-Aug-15 08:17:23

Ooh ooh! Do I get to start it?

Wine and cake all round. And a celebratory burst on the patriarchy-blasting cannon!

Old pub here

NoTechnologicalBreakdown Fri 07-Aug-15 08:23:21

Further to my last posts in the old ones, I've been talking to my dh who deplores a lot about the way boys are brought up. He says anything that looks like empathy is stamped on. I've been playing around with the amateur psychology vocabulary around emotional abuse lately, and it strikes me that the gender stereotypes require routine mild emotional abuse with boys. Just to get the ball rolling.

Congratulations on Dragon's wedding flowers star!

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StormyBrid Fri 07-Aug-15 09:20:17

Thanks for the new pub. Mine's a non-alcoholic pint of tea please. Drinking before a funeral not being the done thing.

DD sometimes comments on how strong her legs are, because I do when she's whizzing about all over the place. So that's one point for me. Unfortunately she has also decided her favourite colour is pink: one point to the patriarchy.

ChunkyPickle Fri 07-Aug-15 09:39:04

I do see in other boys a lack of care/the sense of entitlement already manifesting among DS's friends at infant school.

On the other hand, many, many of them are still lovely, sweet things who do look out for DS2 (they were all combing the softplay for him the other day - and pushing him up and down the roller coaster - even though he's a good 3-4 years younger than any of the boys and girls that were doing it). I've seen DS1 wander around hand in hand with other boys, DS2 (not quite 2) run up to hug someone who's upset, or be hugged and helped out by one of DS1's friends if he got upset

Both my boys are so different, but they both exhibit empathy (in different ways). If boys as a group don't exhibit empathy I feel it's because it's been trained out, because the vast majority of DS1's cohort at school still have it.

Although it could be that they have younger siblings and get yelled at to watchout more?

I also think that groups have personalities, and the personality of DS's school is a very family-style one, so perhaps it's also bringing it out in the kids.

NoTechnologicalBreakdown Fri 07-Aug-15 10:31:53

Buffy you have just reminded me that I used to love mocha. Had to stop when I got pregnant (well, for 'had to' read chose to spread my caffeine allowance more evenly). Thank you. Perhaps we can imagine that these contain some brew brew

INickedAName Fri 07-Aug-15 11:47:45

I love Mocha. They are different from one place/brand to the next though. Aldi do great ones. I like their extra chocolatey ones but they don't seem to stock them at our local one.

I tried the Dowe Eggberts chocolate coffee and didn't like it. Love the mini jar though smile

I bought myself a nice little glass cup to drink it from, but because it's so talk I need to make it in a normal mug so that the spoon hits the bottom. Id love a Tassimo type machine.

Thank you for the well wishes yesterday. They mean a lot. I know it's just the internet but the help I've had here (on mil, on my family etc) has been very much appreciated. Didn't really sleep much, but at least today I'll know better. If I had to wait until the 20th I'd go mad. SIL is taking dd out for afternoon, a special treat that we were all meant to go to together and dd is a bit gutted that we are not all going, but she hasn't said anything, which makes me feel shitty. I told dh to go with them and that I'd be ok on my own but he is insisting on coming. I've promised dd that we will all go to the activity together another weekend and that she will have lots if fun with SIL and her cousins.

Anyway, thank you again for the support. smile

StormyBrid Fri 07-Aug-15 11:53:19

Fingers crossed for you today, INicked.

It could just be my brain playing tricks on me, but I always thought brew looks like, ahem, special green tea. What's actually on that cup?

MsDragons Fri 07-Aug-15 12:18:21

I'm really glad your dh is going with you INicked, you need support today and DD will be absolutely fine spending the day with your sil.

Thanks for all the congratulations yesterday. Having had a very small, relaxed, cheap and cheerful wedding was definitely the best way for us to do it. We were home by 8pm doing normal bedtime for dd2. I've now opened all cards as well and I think we may have actually made a profit on the wedding blush By the time our parents gave us cash as wedding presents, then other people also sent cards, quite often containing cash, we now appear to have more cash than we spent on the wedding. That wasn't our intention at all, we just wanted people to come and share the day with us.

INickedAName Fri 07-Aug-15 12:37:53

NOt just you stormy. Right until yesterday I thought it was a special leaf and almost posted the same smile

I think it's the mumsnet logo.

INickedAName Fri 07-Aug-15 17:51:36

I'm so happy I could cry.

It's cysts.

I have to have another sonogram in a months time, just to make sure there's no changes, and they might drain it.

Nurses and doctors were really lovely. I can't thank them enough. Dh hugged me when we got out the hospital, something he never does, I think it's worried him more than I realised.

Just wanted to update you all and thank you again for listening.

YonicScrewdriver Fri 07-Aug-15 17:58:40

Oh that's so
Good to hear flowers

MsDragons Fri 07-Aug-15 18:02:45

That's brilliant news! I'm so happy for you.

kickassangel Fri 07-Aug-15 18:38:59

Oh that's good.

StormyBrid Fri 07-Aug-15 18:47:21

Fantastic! Although I bet that's something you never thought would be an appropriate response to cysts...

StormyBrid Fri 07-Aug-15 18:49:06

And now I wish I hadn't posted that - the "message sent" message seems to be, er, stuck to my screen.

NoTechnologicalBreakdown Fri 07-Aug-15 19:04:40

Fantastic news INicked, thank goodness.

Hope your funeral went ok Stormy.

alexpolistigers Fri 07-Aug-15 19:18:11

Evening all. Mine is a cider today because I am feeling a bit nostalgic and I can't just nip down to the local supermarket and buy a bottle of Woodpecker.

Congratulations on your wedding, Dragons, and phew to INicked. I hope the cysts clear up too.

UptoapointLordCopper Fri 07-Aug-15 21:01:55

Here you are!

INicked Phew!

alexpolistigers Fri 07-Aug-15 21:08:02

Evening, LordCopper. How are you? All recovered from your uniform stress?

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

UptoapointLordCopper Fri 07-Aug-15 22:24:34

alex Didn't even get to the shop. Bloody traffic ... Do it tomorrow morning.

StormyBrid Fri 07-Aug-15 23:19:37

Funeral went as well as a funeral can. Feels very strange seeing so many youngish men crying, although I'm glad they felt able to. And since getting home and putting the small person to bed, I've been engrossed in a certain thread in AIBU. We've got a persistent cockwomble there, haven't we?

kickassangel Sat 08-Aug-15 18:43:10

I have been to a couple of family funerals which were actually incredibly good. After my gran's we sat round in her dining room eating Chinese and going through te bizarre liqueurs in her drinks cabinet, chatting about family background and stories from her past. One of my best times ever with my family.

YonicScrewdriver Sun 09-Aug-15 19:02:51

Kickass that sounds nice.

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