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Men who expect women to do their research for them

(18 Posts)
Sansarya Sat 09-May-15 11:43:00

I know this is technically TAAT but a man has just posted a list of questions about feminism in Chat and asked women to answer them, also saying that he believes in rights for "people" rather than men or women. It's not the first time I've seen this but why can't these men just do some research themselves? I have seen how these discussions go in the past - man asks question, gets answers he doesn't like, man stomps off in a huff. It isn't that hard to read about the history of feminism and women's rights surely, rather than expect random women to answer your questions?

Or am I just being grouchy and cynical today?

FenellaFellorick Sat 09-May-15 11:57:21

No.

It is simply

Justify Yourselves, Little Women, To Me And My Mighty Penis.

To which the only answer is fuck off. Frankly. It is. Why should we provide answers to a list of questions, like we must give acceptable answers in order to justify feminism? How arrogant must a person be to even ask that?

This is the age of the internet. People who want information have more of it than they could read in a lifetime, all at their fingertips. someone who wants to learn - learns.

FayKorgasm Sat 09-May-15 12:00:41

I saw that thread. Maybe I'm just a bit old and cynical but I kind of eye rolled and said to myself look another man just sitting back and expecting women to do the shit work.

shaska Sat 09-May-15 12:04:48

I opened that thread and was going to post but couldn't get past a deep sigh of 'thiss agaaaain' so I just closed the window. Maybe I'll check back in later when it's turned into the inevitable argument.

Not specifically about that thread but about that style:

It usually comes across to me as someone setting a trap. The questions they ask never sound quite genuine, like they don't so much want to know as want to disagree. They have some idea in their head that they're waiting for people to become examples of, or an argument they think is very clever that they're just waiting for the chance to try out.

Usually they get very picky about language and take things very literally, to the point of wilful misunderstanding.

Often there seems to be an assumption that women will be falling over themselves to talk to an Actual Man About Things. As though that's The Best thing to do and talking to other women is just a kind of placeholder.

It's odd. It's not something women do, in my experience of the internet. But it's something men seem to do a LOT. I really don't get the appeal.

HootyMcTooty Sat 09-May-15 14:57:42

I got suckered in, mostly because of the question about quotas, but you are all correct

HapShawl Sat 09-May-15 15:02:53

"It usually comes across to me as someone setting a trap. The questions they ask never sound quite genuine, like they don't so much want to know as want to disagree. They have some idea in their head that they're waiting for people to become examples of, or an argument they think is very clever that they're just waiting for the chance to try out."

You're absolutely right

YonicScrewdriver Sat 09-May-15 15:08:42

Yy Shaska. Spot on.

squizita Sat 09-May-15 15:45:16

I slightly suspect a teenager/1st year undergrad going through the I AM TERRIBLY INTERLECHOOAL phase, combined with geek/nice guy misogyny. My cynicism is finely honed. grin

WhirlpoolGalaxyM51 Sat 09-May-15 17:03:11

YY to the setting a trap thing.

UptoapointLordCopper Sat 09-May-15 18:43:09

I saw that thread too. I mentally posted "fuck off" and went and look at pictures of cute kittens instead.

partialderivative Sun 10-May-15 07:44:57

I would entirely agree with the OP apart from one point:

I have seen how these discussions go in the past - man asks question, gets answers he doesn't like, man stomps off in a huff.

This reaction is certainly not restricted to men.

HapShawl Sun 10-May-15 09:23:48

It is in the OP's specific scenario

AnyFucker Sun 10-May-15 09:25:48

They are usually goady fuckers

EhricLovesTheBhrothers Sun 10-May-15 09:29:39

Yes to the questions being traps. They are worded in such a way that makes the asker's bias clear and almost impossible to answer without appearing combative thereby fulfilling the asker's inherent prejudices.

HarryLimeFoxtrot Sun 10-May-15 09:33:07

Justify Yourselves, Little Women, To Me And My Mighty Penis.

^^this sums it up perfectly for me.

I opened the thread, and stepped away without posting.

ethelb Sun 10-May-15 11:45:18

It's a superiority thing though isn't it. Tbf their were similar scenarios quite frequently on MN re religion a couple of years ago. They seem to have tailed off.

squizita Sun 10-May-15 11:49:43

Ethel YY. And other issues (I've seen them on baby feeding for example).

UptheChimney Sun 10-May-15 12:38:05

I get paid quite a lot of money to teach people about this stuff. I won't do it for free. None of us should.

Here's a good link to send the men like this:

finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/purpose/

I tend to see it as a deliberate or unconscious action of entitled privileged masculinity to use up women's precious time, because of course, we're all handmaidens!

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