Advanced search

What do you think of this...(possible rape)

(371 Posts)
differentnameforthis Wed 06-May-15 10:20:16

Now I think this is rape. I appear to be a lone voice however, as most are calling those who fell for this stupid.



TheSpottedZebra Wed 06-May-15 10:47:09

No, I don't think it's rape. They have consented to sex, but under false pretences I guess. Is it that much different to someone lying about or concealing another aspect of themselves (to attract a partner), eg marital status, relationship intentions, wealth?

00100001 Wed 06-May-15 10:57:24

Not rape.

00100001 Wed 06-May-15 10:57:56

it;s a case of "yes I'll have sex with you random stranger and agree to be blindfolded... oh you're old and ugly eeeewwwwwww"

uglyswan Wed 06-May-15 10:58:01

Of course it's rape. It's rape by deception or impersonation. They consented to sex, but not with him. Lying about marital and financial status is completely unethical, but not quite the same thing as being an entirely different person from the one your partner consented to have sex with!!!

TheCowThatLaughs Wed 06-May-15 11:05:53

I think it's rape. They had consented to sex with a particular man, but this does not mean they had consented to sex with any man

Micah Wed 06-May-15 11:10:21

Why would you have blindfolded sex with a man you'd never met or seen? Chances are he's not going to be what he tells you.

Basic Internet 101, anyone can pretend to be anything on the other side of a keyboard.

If he'd left them blindfolded and left after the sex they'd never gave known.

uglyswan Wed 06-May-15 11:13:56

Granted, Micah, but that's not really the question. It's still rape - even if the victim is careless, shallow, and dangerously naive. They did not consent.

differentnameforthis Wed 06-May-15 12:03:01

It is not sex by deception though...they agreed to have sex on the strength that he said the photo was of him. They thought they were having sex with a different guy.

They didn't consent to have sex with him.

differentnameforthis Wed 06-May-15 12:03:57

Thank you Ugly & Thecow...

differentnameforthis Wed 06-May-15 12:04:52

IS IT not sex by deception though - that should be!

PuffinsAreFictitious Wed 06-May-15 12:25:17

it;s a case of "yes I'll have sex with you random stranger and agree to be blindfolded... oh you're old and ugly eeeewwwwwww"

I find this attitude quite amazing. For me it plugs into the idea that only certain women can legitimately claim to have been raped. (sorry to use your direct quote, but it seems pretty representative of a certain narrative, even the one being used in his defence, it's nothing personal)

The man deceived those women into having sex with him. To my mind, that's rape.

PuffinsAreFictitious Wed 06-May-15 12:27:34

To use a different, but similar example.

Your DH/DP suggests you play a sex game where he ties you up and blindfolds you. You agree and away you go, only, when the man has finished, he removes your blindfold and you discover that it's his dad.

Still ok? Just you being an idiot and you have to suck it up?

Micah Wed 06-May-15 13:01:40

Puffins, I'm not sure that holds up, you've met your dp, know what he looks like, know who you've agreed to sex with.

In the other scenario you're agreeing to have sex with someone you haven't met. You have no idea what they look like. Yes, you have a photo, but how do you know they haven't put on 20 stone, had gender reassignment, or simply be 20 years older since the photo was taken, even if you give them the benefit of the doubt it is them.

I agree it is rape/coercive sex. But I also think it's extremely naive at best to agree to have sex with someone you haven't met, wearing a blindfold, and expect them to look the same as a photo once the act is over.

PuffinsAreFictitious Wed 06-May-15 13:28:42

We'll have to agree to differ then.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel Wed 06-May-15 14:20:47

It's rape.

BuffyNeverBreaks Wed 06-May-15 15:22:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HapShawl Wed 06-May-15 15:30:22

yes, this is rape

00100001 Wed 06-May-15 16:01:03

They consented though...

"woman named Sylvie who said she had agreed to have sex with the man in a darkened room while wearing a blindfold, "

"He never forced any of his alleged victims into sex"

So where's the rape?

00100001 Wed 06-May-15 16:04:42

If they are Fully sane woman whoa re under no intoxication who choose to and agree to have sex with a stranger, blindfolded, after they'd met them online, and they give their consent. Then I fail to see how it is rape :/

Yes he lied about who he was and what he looked like, but the woman could have just you know... lifted the blindfold... asked to meet him before hand... said no?

TheCountessofFitzdotterel Wed 06-May-15 16:05:17

No, she consented to have sex with a different man.

00100001 Wed 06-May-15 16:06:26

Also - you could meet any guy in a bar, and they could say anything they like about themselves "Oh yes, I'm airline pilot, I eanr 5 billion a year, wanna have sex". Woman says"Yes please" - they do the business. and then just afer he says "Oh actually, I'm a lorry driver..." is that rape? Because that's what you're saying :/

00100001 Wed 06-May-15 16:08:05

"No, she consented to have sex with a different man."

She consented to have sex with the man in the same room as her, after agreeing to meet him after seeing a photo. She allowed herself to be blindfolded. She was not FORCED to have sex with him. She chose to on the information she had avaialble.

He did not rape her. HE deceived her, yes. But she agreed and he di not force himself upon here.

GraysAnalogy Wed 06-May-15 16:13:47

They consented to sex, not rape.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel Wed 06-May-15 16:20:39

Rape doesn't have to involve physical force.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now